(no subject)
First, I need to say, I havent heard any of A Story Told's other new music, but I am in LOVE with their song Family Farm. I always forget how much I love their music until I listen to it again. I like that their music isnt edited to take out any of their imperfections, it seems more personal. I dont know, maybe thats not the right word.
I feel like a million knots in my body are gone, and I didnt even know they were there. Its amazing how miserable we can get and not even realize it. Further proof that others sometimes know more about us than we do. We dont like that though.
I feel like I can think again. I have so many thoughts, usually they just get me confused and extremely overwhelmed but I feel like my mind has cleared and i can see more clearly. I can sort through things. I have a billion thoughts i want to write out and sort through but its hard to transfer them.
When I get caught up in myself is when I treat others like crap. When I thikn that I am full of wisdom is when i give poor advise, or advice void of love. When I am mad at myself is when I give criticism that tears apart (not just criticism). When I push away the past is when i am completely consumed with the present and myself. When I am afraid of making mistakes is when i make the most severe ones.
I have learned that no matter what people say, or no matter what I might think, I cannot find myself away from people. you dont find yourself on your own. You dont find yourself "just you and God". It takes people too, you cant do it without any of those. Eventually it will lead to the one you are missing in the equation.
I cant stress how completely miserable a cycle it is to be consumed with yourself. And i cant stress how, although it is miserable being in that state, how the fear of breaking out of it is just as strong. I cant stress how humiliating it is breaking out of it, and how ashamed you feel, almost strong enough to keep you back in.
We (I) get soooo caught up in not making mistakes. We are afraid to confront the ones we love for fear we are saying the wrong thing. But sometimes in relationships we need to make mistakes, because sometimes thats the onyl way the truth will come out. Are our relationships so fragile that we need to constantly be on guard not to disrupt anything? Im not saying you need to say whatever is on your mind, but so often we fear doing the wrong thing. I realized this watching Reign over me. I cringed at some of the things that Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler said and did to each other, but they did it, they got it out there, they made mistakes, they forgave each other, they were stronger in the end for it.
Most of all I CAN NOT STRESS ENOUGH how important it is to get thoughts out and be honest. SO many relationships are ruined because of this. Whether it is because of fear of conflict, fear of being wrong, fear of hurting the other person, fear of hurting yourself. Know that you can make mistakes, but dont stop because of it.
Just because one extreme is wrong doesnt mean the other is right. I feel the need to defend the things i say, not everything is true in every situation, but not everything is completely subjective.
We cant ingnore the frustrations we have with others, or taht people feel toward us. This is hard when it has to do with people being upset with me. Frustration isnt completely bad. People are allowed to be upset with me. They are allowed to not like decisions i make. They are not wrong for being upset with me and it most certainly doesnt mean they dont love me. This is something I am still telling myself so it sinks in. Not all confrontation is out of anger and not all criticism is without love. But it sometimes can be a thin line.
The future scares the FREAKING CRAP out of me. I feel wrong ignoring it and i feel like i am getting stomach ulcers instantly when i thikn about it. I recognize that i cant even begin to imagine the number of possibilities and it scares me. I dont have control. It goes against everything in me.
I do not know how to open up. Is it something you work towards? is it something that just happens? When i thikn about it i am overwhelmed and want to run right back, so i am praying it is something that mostly just happens beacuse i dont even know where to begin. Or i am praying that it will happen anyway, despite my mistakes or overthinking.
I feel like a million knots in my body are gone, and I didnt even know they were there. Its amazing how miserable we can get and not even realize it. Further proof that others sometimes know more about us than we do. We dont like that though.
I feel like I can think again. I have so many thoughts, usually they just get me confused and extremely overwhelmed but I feel like my mind has cleared and i can see more clearly. I can sort through things. I have a billion thoughts i want to write out and sort through but its hard to transfer them.
When I get caught up in myself is when I treat others like crap. When I thikn that I am full of wisdom is when i give poor advise, or advice void of love. When I am mad at myself is when I give criticism that tears apart (not just criticism). When I push away the past is when i am completely consumed with the present and myself. When I am afraid of making mistakes is when i make the most severe ones.
I have learned that no matter what people say, or no matter what I might think, I cannot find myself away from people. you dont find yourself on your own. You dont find yourself "just you and God". It takes people too, you cant do it without any of those. Eventually it will lead to the one you are missing in the equation.
I cant stress how completely miserable a cycle it is to be consumed with yourself. And i cant stress how, although it is miserable being in that state, how the fear of breaking out of it is just as strong. I cant stress how humiliating it is breaking out of it, and how ashamed you feel, almost strong enough to keep you back in.
We (I) get soooo caught up in not making mistakes. We are afraid to confront the ones we love for fear we are saying the wrong thing. But sometimes in relationships we need to make mistakes, because sometimes thats the onyl way the truth will come out. Are our relationships so fragile that we need to constantly be on guard not to disrupt anything? Im not saying you need to say whatever is on your mind, but so often we fear doing the wrong thing. I realized this watching Reign over me. I cringed at some of the things that Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler said and did to each other, but they did it, they got it out there, they made mistakes, they forgave each other, they were stronger in the end for it.
Most of all I CAN NOT STRESS ENOUGH how important it is to get thoughts out and be honest. SO many relationships are ruined because of this. Whether it is because of fear of conflict, fear of being wrong, fear of hurting the other person, fear of hurting yourself. Know that you can make mistakes, but dont stop because of it.
Just because one extreme is wrong doesnt mean the other is right. I feel the need to defend the things i say, not everything is true in every situation, but not everything is completely subjective.
We cant ingnore the frustrations we have with others, or taht people feel toward us. This is hard when it has to do with people being upset with me. Frustration isnt completely bad. People are allowed to be upset with me. They are allowed to not like decisions i make. They are not wrong for being upset with me and it most certainly doesnt mean they dont love me. This is something I am still telling myself so it sinks in. Not all confrontation is out of anger and not all criticism is without love. But it sometimes can be a thin line.
The future scares the FREAKING CRAP out of me. I feel wrong ignoring it and i feel like i am getting stomach ulcers instantly when i thikn about it. I recognize that i cant even begin to imagine the number of possibilities and it scares me. I dont have control. It goes against everything in me.
I do not know how to open up. Is it something you work towards? is it something that just happens? When i thikn about it i am overwhelmed and want to run right back, so i am praying it is something that mostly just happens beacuse i dont even know where to begin. Or i am praying that it will happen anyway, despite my mistakes or overthinking.