*hugs back* Thanks! I am indeed alive and not too mopey. And hey it's better to have standards than none at all just to "prove" you can get someone. ;-)
Looks don't do it all for me either -- I actually want to stay away from guys who are too good-looking. There are some I just can't get into because I get an unpleasant vibe from them. I think the handsome ones tend to be arrogant and overbearing. Dealing with them feels adversarial or pointless. Also even if they're nice, they're out of my league when they have women coming on to them every time they step outside.
I am disappointed in myself that I balked so quickly at the aforementioned guy. That's what I get for being too idealistic and trying to be 'enlightened.' A good personality can significantly increase attraction to someone I had felt only a tiny little spark for, but if there's no spark it probably won't do that much and we will stay friends.
Perhaps the worst part of this is that I made myself appear to be a totally shallow, vain girl to someone whose opinion I value. It's not like we were already friends, but she seemed like a cool, down to earth person I'd like to be friends with...the problem is the guy is one of her good friends. I'm going to hope she overlooks my lapse of judgment.
I don't think because your friend pointed him out that you're required to give him a try. As long as you just told her something like, "I don't really think he's my type" then she has no right to force him upon you.
The problem with reason is it tends to be disembodied from reality, and if you don't feel it, you don't. Period. If she's a cool person, she'll realize even if you said something vain or shallow, that you're not that person and get over it.
Looks don't do it all for me either -- I actually want to stay away from guys who are too good-looking. There are some I just can't get into because I get an unpleasant vibe from them. I think the handsome ones tend to be arrogant and overbearing. Dealing with them feels adversarial or pointless. Also even if they're nice, they're out of my league when they have women coming on to them every time they step outside.
I am disappointed in myself that I balked so quickly at the aforementioned guy. That's what I get for being too idealistic and trying to be 'enlightened.' A good personality can significantly increase attraction to someone I had felt only a tiny little spark for, but if there's no spark it probably won't do that much and we will stay friends.
Perhaps the worst part of this is that I made myself appear to be a totally shallow, vain girl to someone whose opinion I value. It's not like we were already friends, but she seemed like a cool, down to earth person I'd like to be friends with...the problem is the guy is one of her good friends. I'm going to hope she overlooks my lapse of judgment.
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The problem with reason is it tends to be disembodied from reality, and if you don't feel it, you don't. Period. If she's a cool person, she'll realize even if you said something vain or shallow, that you're not that person and get over it.
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