I worked hard for *this*?
I had my 90-day evaluation yesterday at work. It was supposed to be the end of my probation period, but my supervisor has decided to extend it by another 60 days. I got the same old stuff I've been hearing for much of my life -- I am not assertive enough, not communicating enough, still acting overwhelmed, and not reaching my full potential.
What does it all mean? I already know I have a problem with shyness, and that my writing skills seem to far outstrip my verbal speaking skills. But the whole "potential" issue...gah. I think I have been getting evaluations like that since I was, like, 6. I don't think it's as simple as laziness. I may look like I'm freaking out, even though I'm getting the job done, because I tend to be over-serious. It's just the way I am. Am I just too spacey? It's true I over-think stuff...I've always been that way. It's why I have a journal. Or two. *eyeroll* Anyway, of course, I will work on the communication skills, but I can't help but feel a little annoyed. Sometimes it feels like you really can't win in the work world unless you are one of those smooth, ultra-poised, smiley types. I just don't have that kind of pleasant fast-talking charisma.
Even though this is an annoying, possible temporary setback, I'm trying to keep in mind that this is a pretty decent gig as far as semi-entry-level jobs go. But if I'm not employed 3 months from now, whatever. I'm pretty damn sure that I've been trying to adjust.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say in this entry. I'm up past my bedtime, I have a lot to do before I drive to my parents' house for Thanksgiving, AND I have a couple of proofreading gigs this weekend.
What does it all mean? I already know I have a problem with shyness, and that my writing skills seem to far outstrip my verbal speaking skills. But the whole "potential" issue...gah. I think I have been getting evaluations like that since I was, like, 6. I don't think it's as simple as laziness. I may look like I'm freaking out, even though I'm getting the job done, because I tend to be over-serious. It's just the way I am. Am I just too spacey? It's true I over-think stuff...I've always been that way. It's why I have a journal. Or two. *eyeroll* Anyway, of course, I will work on the communication skills, but I can't help but feel a little annoyed. Sometimes it feels like you really can't win in the work world unless you are one of those smooth, ultra-poised, smiley types. I just don't have that kind of pleasant fast-talking charisma.
Even though this is an annoying, possible temporary setback, I'm trying to keep in mind that this is a pretty decent gig as far as semi-entry-level jobs go. But if I'm not employed 3 months from now, whatever. I'm pretty damn sure that I've been trying to adjust.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say in this entry. I'm up past my bedtime, I have a lot to do before I drive to my parents' house for Thanksgiving, AND I have a couple of proofreading gigs this weekend.