Pie
1) Defrost puff pastry the night before - this is important as popping it on the radiator will melt your puff pastry and the microwave will just cook it weirdly. Roll out puff pasty and chop into 4 bits unless 1 big pie or teeny tiny pies are needed, whatever.
2)fry up some quorn (or that Asda chickeny stuff that your beloved prefers and forces you to buy insted - yak) with some garlic and steak seasoning - chicken seasoning is better but obviously if it aint in the cupboard, you gotta use what you have.
3)add red lentils. It is much better if you boil the lentils up beforehand rather than throwing them in the pan and having to add shit loads of water to cook them properly :(
4)mix up a tomato and basil cupasoup that has been lurking in the back of the cupboard for a while - do not attempt to mix it in the pan or it will go lumpy & powdery - taste and add gravy and salt if you reckon it could taste better. Pepper is good too but if your beloved has used it all up and left the empty jar in the cupboard, then try your pepper mill, give up in frustration, rage about it for a while and skip this ingredient.
5)when lentils are soft, add chopped red pepper and some frozen peas and or corn. Its best to measure this out first as tipping the packet up can render your pie mix over-pea'd. Fish out excess peas and feed to any convenient furries
6)boil some taters up - ok this should have been done earlier but some people can actually prioritize and some people have microwaves ok? and mash into mixture
7)add cheese. Cheese is always good at making dodgy pie mix taste nicer.
8)allow to cool. Trying to put hot pie mix into puff pastry and melt it. No intelligent individual would make that mistake. Ahem.
9)did i mention preheating the oven? no? well you should have read the recipe through first then shouldn't you? any idiot knows they have to preheat an oven. Temperature? oh well um hot of course
10)ladle pie mix in pastry, wrap pastry securely or the mix will leak all over oven tray and chuck in oven till done. how long? till its done that's how long.
11) eat left over pie mix without telling beloved
2)fry up some quorn (or that Asda chickeny stuff that your beloved prefers and forces you to buy insted - yak) with some garlic and steak seasoning - chicken seasoning is better but obviously if it aint in the cupboard, you gotta use what you have.
3)add red lentils. It is much better if you boil the lentils up beforehand rather than throwing them in the pan and having to add shit loads of water to cook them properly :(
4)mix up a tomato and basil cupasoup that has been lurking in the back of the cupboard for a while - do not attempt to mix it in the pan or it will go lumpy & powdery - taste and add gravy and salt if you reckon it could taste better. Pepper is good too but if your beloved has used it all up and left the empty jar in the cupboard, then try your pepper mill, give up in frustration, rage about it for a while and skip this ingredient.
5)when lentils are soft, add chopped red pepper and some frozen peas and or corn. Its best to measure this out first as tipping the packet up can render your pie mix over-pea'd. Fish out excess peas and feed to any convenient furries
6)boil some taters up - ok this should have been done earlier but some people can actually prioritize and some people have microwaves ok? and mash into mixture
7)add cheese. Cheese is always good at making dodgy pie mix taste nicer.
8)allow to cool. Trying to put hot pie mix into puff pastry and melt it. No intelligent individual would make that mistake. Ahem.
9)did i mention preheating the oven? no? well you should have read the recipe through first then shouldn't you? any idiot knows they have to preheat an oven. Temperature? oh well um hot of course
10)ladle pie mix in pastry, wrap pastry securely or the mix will leak all over oven tray and chuck in oven till done. how long? till its done that's how long.
11) eat left over pie mix without telling beloved