I feel... anxious, hyper, chipper. I want to go to a summer festival or a party or to see some band live, I want to apologize for everyone for being me, for ignoring everyone, for being so antisocial, for never answering, for having being depressed for so bloody long unable to do anything about it. The result for all of this combined is me here,
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I read about all the happenings that were and people that came and all those I at the time shrugged off without much thought, and now I feel like "Oh man, why didn't I go?" Well... I'm just that antisocial I suppose. Must be a pain trying to be my friend. Sorry for all the times I let you down...
You know. I've recently come to the conclusion that
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I need to get rid of my habit of apologizing for being me. Really. It's not like I can do much about it and if people don't like it, they don't need to hang around, right? Sigh... Self-confidence, where areth thou?
But you are sweet. *snuggle*
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It seems like living with your grandma has done a lot of good for you, though at the beginning you were anxious about having to talk with her and be social. That has passed, at least partly?
I'd like to hang out instead of working, too. :( It was fun when you were staying here and I had something to look forward to after work. I was a bit disappointed that you went off on my only free week this summer, but I did start getting too cranky after Finncon, for having been around people so long. I guess those couple of people-free days that I had last week were needed. Also, it is good to hear that you had fun with Lilli.
By the way, if you want to know how to do those username link thingies, write e.g. like this: [lj user="arkangeli"] and replace [] with <> of course. Vinci's text is wrong because he wrote lj-user.
Kent's lyrics do sound interesting. I wonder if my Isola has them in the cd booklet... it might...
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Being social hasn't been a bother much lately for the house has been kinda empty mostly. And it's been cool to hear old stories too, but often I feel I'm a bad person if I don't act social and then it's just torture. Life tends to be difficult like that.
I did think about canceling my trip to the country, but then again, I'd just been living with you for a week and so I thought it might be good to not overdo it, if you know what I mean. It was nice being with my sis, feeling like we could even be friends like that. Sort of equal. It was nice.
Thanks for the lj tip, I was wondering about that. Tho I still wonder why it refused to do Vinci's quote in italian. Humm. And yeah, Isola has lyrics. And I haven't even read them really coz I have a burnt version. *~_~* Must steal them from sis.
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Ei miulta nyt niin paljoa Potterfaneja löydy. ;_; Eivät ne kaikki sentään kommentoi jokaista kirjoitusta. Enkä mie edes kirjoita aiheesta kovin usein. :P Mut mie vaikka teen uuden journalin pelkästään teitä varten, ja laitan sinne samat kirjoitukset kuin tähänkin, jos friends-lista oikeasti estää porukkaa lukemasta mitä miulle tapahtuu. Toiveita? Jos en mitään muuta keksi, niin yocchan-nimeä ei varmaan ole vielä viety...
Niin ja ignooraa ne muutamat "vää, mie en tiedä mitä tehdä Emilian suhteen"-jutut helmikuulta ja mahdollisesti aiemmalta ajalta, kun ollaan sitä puitu nyt täällä. ^^; Vastailen muihin myöhemmin, nyt Yocchan teh elävä kuollut lähtee töihin.
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Mut joo, miun asiat on kai nykyään ihan yhtä hyvin kuin ennenkin, mikä on toki paremmin kuin mitä journalvineämisestäni voisi päätellä. Tietty on kaikkea mikä ahistaa tai pelottaa tai suututtaa tai hävettää, mutta en kyllä edes muista olisiko ikinä ollut toisin. Elämään vaan kuuluu kaikennäköistä..
Mie oon perjantaita lukuunottamatta viikonlopun töissä, mutta ensi viikolla olisi kyllä aikaa tehdä juttuja ti-pe. Pitäisi varmaan laittaa jotain mailia Kulhusta, kysellä Jenniltä siitä maagista ja sie voisit summonoida ihmiset dunkuttamaan (esim. ens perjantaina ois aika hyvä päivä sille?)
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