The roller coaster never stays on top for long...
It should have been a good day.
I got the keys to my condo and can begin the moving in process. It's beautiful, huge, close to school, and it's mine- I'm totally in love with it. It's been a long process, well worth the time and effort.
I got my student loan refund check and am no longer completely broke. After taking cash advances from my credit card, loans from my parents, extra shifts at work and countless sexual favors, I have some money! No more worry.
I have gotten the majority of my 10 tests/quizzes/assessments back from the past two weeks and did really well on most of them. A couple blunders that I figure are statistically bound to happen, and a couple frustrations that in my world should be right, but most of all very happy with the results.
For some reason I am not ecstatic, not jumping for joy or out partying. It makes me feel so un-godly selfish and I am literally disgusted with myself. I guess every time I feel like my life is at a "high"- something crashes down. The roller coaster never stays on top for long and I think I'm reluctant to be comfortable and secure.
I'm scared. Is that stupid?
I got the keys to my condo and can begin the moving in process. It's beautiful, huge, close to school, and it's mine- I'm totally in love with it. It's been a long process, well worth the time and effort.
I got my student loan refund check and am no longer completely broke. After taking cash advances from my credit card, loans from my parents, extra shifts at work and countless sexual favors, I have some money! No more worry.
I have gotten the majority of my 10 tests/quizzes/assessments back from the past two weeks and did really well on most of them. A couple blunders that I figure are statistically bound to happen, and a couple frustrations that in my world should be right, but most of all very happy with the results.
For some reason I am not ecstatic, not jumping for joy or out partying. It makes me feel so un-godly selfish and I am literally disgusted with myself. I guess every time I feel like my life is at a "high"- something crashes down. The roller coaster never stays on top for long and I think I'm reluctant to be comfortable and secure.
I'm scared. Is that stupid?