(no subject)
Here is a post that could be long and emotional, but I choose to keep it strictly to the point without too much emotional interjection for personal reasons:
I once knew this kid. He was my best friend for a time... a long time. When I look back at my teenage years I see him and all the crazy fucked up shit we have done together (sometimes I wonder how we either rarely got caught or ended up dead...but thats beyond me). Apparently (whether it is speculation or rumor I can't be sure) he tried to kill himself. No words that I can write can fully capture the fright I felt. I wonder if his life flashed on the back of his eye lids...I wonder if he saw me in that mess of 23 years of gathered memories.
Its funny and scarey at the same time to think that he is in my past, along with other people. People just grow apart and go their separate ways, it will always happen...to everyone. I know, because its happened to me too many times. Sometimes people, or yourself is to blame for the drift apart, sometimes its not. I know it will happen again and I dont want it to. I have some of the most beautiful friends (3 in particular) that warm my heart and make me smile like no one else can and I thank them from the very depths of my heart.
Anywho, the past week has been a huge awakening for me on so many different levels. Those that are around me probably know some of what I am talking about, but of course because it is ME...no one ever knows the whole story.
I once knew this kid. He was my best friend for a time... a long time. When I look back at my teenage years I see him and all the crazy fucked up shit we have done together (sometimes I wonder how we either rarely got caught or ended up dead...but thats beyond me). Apparently (whether it is speculation or rumor I can't be sure) he tried to kill himself. No words that I can write can fully capture the fright I felt. I wonder if his life flashed on the back of his eye lids...I wonder if he saw me in that mess of 23 years of gathered memories.
Its funny and scarey at the same time to think that he is in my past, along with other people. People just grow apart and go their separate ways, it will always happen...to everyone. I know, because its happened to me too many times. Sometimes people, or yourself is to blame for the drift apart, sometimes its not. I know it will happen again and I dont want it to. I have some of the most beautiful friends (3 in particular) that warm my heart and make me smile like no one else can and I thank them from the very depths of my heart.
Anywho, the past week has been a huge awakening for me on so many different levels. Those that are around me probably know some of what I am talking about, but of course because it is ME...no one ever knows the whole story.