Wow summer is fading away fast!
I can't believe that it is August already. Fall is right around the corner. Kids are going back to school in like a month! Wow, this is another summer down the tubes that has basically sucked then. I always have all these plans for such a fun filled summer and I never get to do any of it more then half the time! I went to the Idol concert which was a plan and it happened and that is about the most exciting thing that we did do!
I finally made it to the beach here today and went in the water twice. It was so nice. But of course Emil was with me and Crystal was sleeping cause of her toothache so it wasn't that much fun cause he did nothing but talk to our neighbors while we were down there cause there were there with their boat. Once they left he was ready to come home! I hate to complain once again people but I am getting sick of his attitude fucking problem.
He is not ever happy with anything I do, or Crystal does, or what we don't do for that matter. He just complains about everything and everybody on an everyday fucking basis! And I am tired of listening to him and tired of him. I know I just had only my second wedding anniversay but totally we have been with each other seven years and I am not sure if I can make it to eight. Trouble is I can't really leave him at this moment. I have to have a full time job and Crystal would have to have atleast a part time job too for us to get away and find a nice little house or apartment to rent of our own. I know our sanity is going fast. I know it is hard for people that do not see us everyday to think that things could be so bad but beleive me they are. I can't stand to really do anything with him. He is just such a complaining unhappy person. I do not know what happened to him but he has changed over the past few years. Actually since we got married.... so it makes me wonder if he ever really wanted to marry in the first place.. oh well, live and learn as they say.
Okay off that and back to the summer being almost gone. I wanted more time at the beach with Crystal and stuff like that. We wanted to go to the Detroit Institute of Arts Museum. I wanted to go to Detroit Zoo for a day we have not been there since like Crystal was in about 2nd grade. I also wanted to go to Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village for a day.
I wanted to go see a couple new movies at the show, we never seem to have had the extra money for any of this when we had the time to do it! And even if I did have the money a certain someone who I do not need to name I am sure found some sort of reason for Crystal and I NOT to go... We are lucky to get out of this freaking house one day a week and into town to just goof off and go to the mall or get groceries or something. He comes home from work and you get dirty looks if you want to take the car and spend 10 bucks worth of gas to go into town just her and I!
I would like for her and I to just have days for her and I a few times a week. Like I said a movie, maybe lunch or a dinner and then go to a movie or something. Or spend a day at the beach together here, or drive farther up in the thumb on a weekday, pack a lunch take drinks and hit a beach up there and walk around town up there. I would of loved to have went camping for a weekend but mr grumpy isn't fun enough to do things as a family anymore! But yet he bitches cause we don't.. that is what I mean about we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. If I suggest shit, we can't afford to go do it cause it might cost a few bucks or the gas to go do it. But when we sit here he bitches cause Crystal is in her room and we don't do anything together.. NUTS umm I beleive so! driving everybody else there too!
This is not a family it is a joke anymore! I told Crystal one day about a week ago.... God is showing me how wrong I was to have left her dad. I had it soooooooooo much better with him. He may have done some not to cool things but I should of stayed and talked it out ... atleast he treated me with respect, he never talked down to me or shit about me to others.. he just got lazy and kind of mean.. but nothing like I am going through now. So I figure this is my punishment for leaving a man that I had been with for 20 years and was Crystal's father. Now I am screwed! Oh well, can't change any of that now! Atleast one of the two of us is happy. Her dad seems to be very happy with Rita.. so I guess that is good!
I honestly could say I am jealous of the woman! She has a decent man! Oh shit what is wrong with me. Lots of reminicsing lately about old times when Crystal was younger etc. All the fun vacations we took upnorth and the vacations to Florida an Disney World and to California and just the fun little things we did as a family at home, swimming in the pool, going to the beach, going out to eat, going down to the park, going to pick apples in the fall... going to Ruby Tree Farm in the fall... all our holiday traditions we did every year.. I guess I just need to be happy and find a decent fella to be happy with that I could have a real family life with again. And I don't think that is going to happen any time to soon. One I am getting to old and two I have no idea how to go about leaving the one I am with now! I have alot of soul searching and other things to start going through and thinking about harshly in my life. Not just for myself either but for Crystal.. I don't need her having to worry about me and my shit whole life which I know she does and I know that is one reason she does not want to move out right now and go live at her dads cause she does not want to leave me alone her with the idiot husband I have! Okay I have rattled on and on enough I am truley sorry kids! I am just not a happy mommy lately! well I am happy as a mom... just not a wife thats more what I mean! I need to go get some sleep. Been a long day! The week is going to be even longer cause idiot husband is off all week cause his boss went on vacation! OMG help help help! We need an escape route for the week! lol!
I know I got off the path numerous times about summer turning to fall soon and all.. but the point of it was we just didn't get to do anything we really had planned for our summer and the same damn thing happened to us last summer. It gets annoying! I need to just start taking money from his fucking paychecks and Crystal and I just need to say fuck it and go do what the hell we want to go do I think! Maybe if he gets pissed off enough he will just pack his shit and move out and then I wouldn't have to be the bearer of the bad news come some day to say hey idoit I don't want to be your wife anymore!
Okay that was rude and crude.... of me! I need to go now! If you read all this garbage thanks if you have any good advice let me know!
I finally made it to the beach here today and went in the water twice. It was so nice. But of course Emil was with me and Crystal was sleeping cause of her toothache so it wasn't that much fun cause he did nothing but talk to our neighbors while we were down there cause there were there with their boat. Once they left he was ready to come home! I hate to complain once again people but I am getting sick of his attitude fucking problem.
He is not ever happy with anything I do, or Crystal does, or what we don't do for that matter. He just complains about everything and everybody on an everyday fucking basis! And I am tired of listening to him and tired of him. I know I just had only my second wedding anniversay but totally we have been with each other seven years and I am not sure if I can make it to eight. Trouble is I can't really leave him at this moment. I have to have a full time job and Crystal would have to have atleast a part time job too for us to get away and find a nice little house or apartment to rent of our own. I know our sanity is going fast. I know it is hard for people that do not see us everyday to think that things could be so bad but beleive me they are. I can't stand to really do anything with him. He is just such a complaining unhappy person. I do not know what happened to him but he has changed over the past few years. Actually since we got married.... so it makes me wonder if he ever really wanted to marry in the first place.. oh well, live and learn as they say.
Okay off that and back to the summer being almost gone. I wanted more time at the beach with Crystal and stuff like that. We wanted to go to the Detroit Institute of Arts Museum. I wanted to go to Detroit Zoo for a day we have not been there since like Crystal was in about 2nd grade. I also wanted to go to Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village for a day.
I wanted to go see a couple new movies at the show, we never seem to have had the extra money for any of this when we had the time to do it! And even if I did have the money a certain someone who I do not need to name I am sure found some sort of reason for Crystal and I NOT to go... We are lucky to get out of this freaking house one day a week and into town to just goof off and go to the mall or get groceries or something. He comes home from work and you get dirty looks if you want to take the car and spend 10 bucks worth of gas to go into town just her and I!
I would like for her and I to just have days for her and I a few times a week. Like I said a movie, maybe lunch or a dinner and then go to a movie or something. Or spend a day at the beach together here, or drive farther up in the thumb on a weekday, pack a lunch take drinks and hit a beach up there and walk around town up there. I would of loved to have went camping for a weekend but mr grumpy isn't fun enough to do things as a family anymore! But yet he bitches cause we don't.. that is what I mean about we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. If I suggest shit, we can't afford to go do it cause it might cost a few bucks or the gas to go do it. But when we sit here he bitches cause Crystal is in her room and we don't do anything together.. NUTS umm I beleive so! driving everybody else there too!
This is not a family it is a joke anymore! I told Crystal one day about a week ago.... God is showing me how wrong I was to have left her dad. I had it soooooooooo much better with him. He may have done some not to cool things but I should of stayed and talked it out ... atleast he treated me with respect, he never talked down to me or shit about me to others.. he just got lazy and kind of mean.. but nothing like I am going through now. So I figure this is my punishment for leaving a man that I had been with for 20 years and was Crystal's father. Now I am screwed! Oh well, can't change any of that now! Atleast one of the two of us is happy. Her dad seems to be very happy with Rita.. so I guess that is good!
I honestly could say I am jealous of the woman! She has a decent man! Oh shit what is wrong with me. Lots of reminicsing lately about old times when Crystal was younger etc. All the fun vacations we took upnorth and the vacations to Florida an Disney World and to California and just the fun little things we did as a family at home, swimming in the pool, going to the beach, going out to eat, going down to the park, going to pick apples in the fall... going to Ruby Tree Farm in the fall... all our holiday traditions we did every year.. I guess I just need to be happy and find a decent fella to be happy with that I could have a real family life with again. And I don't think that is going to happen any time to soon. One I am getting to old and two I have no idea how to go about leaving the one I am with now! I have alot of soul searching and other things to start going through and thinking about harshly in my life. Not just for myself either but for Crystal.. I don't need her having to worry about me and my shit whole life which I know she does and I know that is one reason she does not want to move out right now and go live at her dads cause she does not want to leave me alone her with the idiot husband I have! Okay I have rattled on and on enough I am truley sorry kids! I am just not a happy mommy lately! well I am happy as a mom... just not a wife thats more what I mean! I need to go get some sleep. Been a long day! The week is going to be even longer cause idiot husband is off all week cause his boss went on vacation! OMG help help help! We need an escape route for the week! lol!
I know I got off the path numerous times about summer turning to fall soon and all.. but the point of it was we just didn't get to do anything we really had planned for our summer and the same damn thing happened to us last summer. It gets annoying! I need to just start taking money from his fucking paychecks and Crystal and I just need to say fuck it and go do what the hell we want to go do I think! Maybe if he gets pissed off enough he will just pack his shit and move out and then I wouldn't have to be the bearer of the bad news come some day to say hey idoit I don't want to be your wife anymore!
Okay that was rude and crude.... of me! I need to go now! If you read all this garbage thanks if you have any good advice let me know!