(no subject)
Dear Buckley's Medicine,
I know people who swear by you. Yes, you taste like ass. But come on! Work a bit faster, please. I don't think you've done anything yet, and I'm already on my third spoonful. I'm following directions, but maybe I should take it to the max and do two at a time instead of one? Although, I would prefer if you just stopped making me cough right now. That'd be keen.
Thank you for your consideration,
emiline
*
Dear magazine store down the road from work,
Okay, I've visited you HOW many times in the past 6 or 7 months, wondering if you carried Bitch or Bust magazines. Thank you for finally (FINALLY!) carrying them today, even though I'd already picked up the latest Bitch. I think I'll get a subscription anyway, because you're obviously not all that reliable.
On the fence,
emiline
*
Dear guy at the movie store,
Hey, next time I have a free movie rental, kindly ASK me if I want to redeem it first before you just decide to redeem it for me. I had a plan, and you totally ruined it!
Bastard (but you were nice otherwise, so I can forgive you),
emiline
*
Dear Empire Records,
Man, it's been a while, hasn't it? It's nice though; no matter how long it's been since we hung out together, when we do finally hang out, it's nice and comfortable. I like that.
"I hope you like blue cheese",
emiline
I know people who swear by you. Yes, you taste like ass. But come on! Work a bit faster, please. I don't think you've done anything yet, and I'm already on my third spoonful. I'm following directions, but maybe I should take it to the max and do two at a time instead of one? Although, I would prefer if you just stopped making me cough right now. That'd be keen.
Thank you for your consideration,
emiline
*
Dear magazine store down the road from work,
Okay, I've visited you HOW many times in the past 6 or 7 months, wondering if you carried Bitch or Bust magazines. Thank you for finally (FINALLY!) carrying them today, even though I'd already picked up the latest Bitch. I think I'll get a subscription anyway, because you're obviously not all that reliable.
On the fence,
emiline
*
Dear guy at the movie store,
Hey, next time I have a free movie rental, kindly ASK me if I want to redeem it first before you just decide to redeem it for me. I had a plan, and you totally ruined it!
Bastard (but you were nice otherwise, so I can forgive you),
emiline
*
Dear Empire Records,
Man, it's been a while, hasn't it? It's nice though; no matter how long it's been since we hung out together, when we do finally hang out, it's nice and comfortable. I like that.
"I hope you like blue cheese",
emiline