dave brubeck is my hero
i don't really know where to begin right now. i'm so proud of myself and so proud of the place i am at right now...i've never felt like this before, and it's kind of surreal.
i spent friday afternoon, night and this morning in muskegon and remembering what it's like to spend time with someone who i love so much. i can't really go on with this right now, i have to think it all through and probably send an email before i can get it all out!
as soon as i got back from muskegon, ben homnick picked me up and we went to ann arbor to see dave brubeck. holy holy holy cow. it was one of the best concerts i've ever been to, hands down. 4 old guys and the ann arbor symphony...never wouldve thunk! dave brubeck just turned 85...and if i can be half of that man when i'm 85, i'll be content with my life! they were all so happy and obviously LOVED being there...and it made me so happy. it made me think again about who i was there with. i look over at this kid who i used to want to be friends with so badly and i was, but i could never really reach him and i didn't understand why. when i realized it was because he was in love me with me and i had no interest, i backed off and kind of disowned him from my life. part of that bitch stage i went through last year. and now, he's a human being; someone who i can genuinely have a great time with. it's a completely new ben homnick...not the same one i envied musically 3 years ago, but a more confident and outspoken ben, a more energetic and spontaneous ben! it was SO wonderful to see! "you are beautiful, emiliy. you will always be beautiful to me." that meant nothing to me at the time, but now i realize there is a heart in that person who i pushed away. there's a genuine, caring person inside someone who i wanted to ignore. i can't ignore him, he's too great of a person and friend. i'm glad i caught it before i made a huge mistake and lost a friend forever.
all in all, 2 excellent days. very, very excellent days, with two people who will be everlasting friends. i'm so proud of both of their growth, it's so amazing to watch. i'm also so proud of myself. the last three weeks have been so good for me, and i have learned and listened and really introspected into the life of emily craig. it's amazing what you can learn from really focusing on your own life!
i'm slowly becoming the woman i want to be someday, and He is helping me get back on track. i'm going to sleep now and let the ambien do its job. goodnight, moon.
ps. buy the new ben harper cd...it's sweet and all over the place!
i spent friday afternoon, night and this morning in muskegon and remembering what it's like to spend time with someone who i love so much. i can't really go on with this right now, i have to think it all through and probably send an email before i can get it all out!
as soon as i got back from muskegon, ben homnick picked me up and we went to ann arbor to see dave brubeck. holy holy holy cow. it was one of the best concerts i've ever been to, hands down. 4 old guys and the ann arbor symphony...never wouldve thunk! dave brubeck just turned 85...and if i can be half of that man when i'm 85, i'll be content with my life! they were all so happy and obviously LOVED being there...and it made me so happy. it made me think again about who i was there with. i look over at this kid who i used to want to be friends with so badly and i was, but i could never really reach him and i didn't understand why. when i realized it was because he was in love me with me and i had no interest, i backed off and kind of disowned him from my life. part of that bitch stage i went through last year. and now, he's a human being; someone who i can genuinely have a great time with. it's a completely new ben homnick...not the same one i envied musically 3 years ago, but a more confident and outspoken ben, a more energetic and spontaneous ben! it was SO wonderful to see! "you are beautiful, emiliy. you will always be beautiful to me." that meant nothing to me at the time, but now i realize there is a heart in that person who i pushed away. there's a genuine, caring person inside someone who i wanted to ignore. i can't ignore him, he's too great of a person and friend. i'm glad i caught it before i made a huge mistake and lost a friend forever.
all in all, 2 excellent days. very, very excellent days, with two people who will be everlasting friends. i'm so proud of both of their growth, it's so amazing to watch. i'm also so proud of myself. the last three weeks have been so good for me, and i have learned and listened and really introspected into the life of emily craig. it's amazing what you can learn from really focusing on your own life!
i'm slowly becoming the woman i want to be someday, and He is helping me get back on track. i'm going to sleep now and let the ambien do its job. goodnight, moon.
ps. buy the new ben harper cd...it's sweet and all over the place!