30th of March - Pencil Day
Recently I got told, more or less, to up the ante of this here blog of mine. That I should, more or less, stop spending so much time talking and start doing. That what the people want, more or less, is me eating awful shit and feeling awful about it. That I should, more or less, have sex with a pencil. No wait, literally, I was literally told to have sex with a pencil.
Well... fair enough, it's all good advice, except the pencil bit. So from now on I'll try and up the ante as much as possible. Except today, where I wont.
Today is Pencil Day, the day on which the rubber topped pencil was invented. Pencils are pretty great, I mean, they were probably more impressive when they were first patented and people were losing their shit over it.
HOLY FREAKING SHIT! NATHANIEL GET IN HERE!
But these days no one really cares about pencils, or even pens, textas are a thing of the past, and the only people who are even remotely interested in crayons are hipsters wearing Danger Mouse T-Shirts, and even then they're only interested "ironically".
I don't like hipsters very much.
No you can't take a photo. Leave me alone!
I like to imagine the inventor of the pencil bursting into his friends apartment, and, finding him writing, smacking him on the head and yelling "Hey pissface, why the hell are you using a quill? What the hell is wrong with you? Use a goddamn freaking pencil!" and then proceeding to write all over his friends novel. Of course when the euphoria wears off he'll feel terrible, but it was worth it. History is not as much like a feverish avant-garde sitcom as I wish it was.
So I'm sorry that today wasn't full of excitement, I assure you at some point in the future I will do something so wacky I am more or less hospitalized.
Then you'll all feel great.
Happy Pencil Day
JACKSON
*Tomorrow is Tater Day!*
Well... fair enough, it's all good advice, except the pencil bit. So from now on I'll try and up the ante as much as possible. Except today, where I wont.
Today is Pencil Day, the day on which the rubber topped pencil was invented. Pencils are pretty great, I mean, they were probably more impressive when they were first patented and people were losing their shit over it.
HOLY FREAKING SHIT! NATHANIEL GET IN HERE!
But these days no one really cares about pencils, or even pens, textas are a thing of the past, and the only people who are even remotely interested in crayons are hipsters wearing Danger Mouse T-Shirts, and even then they're only interested "ironically".
I don't like hipsters very much.
No you can't take a photo. Leave me alone!
I like to imagine the inventor of the pencil bursting into his friends apartment, and, finding him writing, smacking him on the head and yelling "Hey pissface, why the hell are you using a quill? What the hell is wrong with you? Use a goddamn freaking pencil!" and then proceeding to write all over his friends novel. Of course when the euphoria wears off he'll feel terrible, but it was worth it. History is not as much like a feverish avant-garde sitcom as I wish it was.
So I'm sorry that today wasn't full of excitement, I assure you at some point in the future I will do something so wacky I am more or less hospitalized.
Then you'll all feel great.
Happy Pencil Day
JACKSON
*Tomorrow is Tater Day!*