(no subject)
I'm just sitting here, asking myself over and over again why I am bothering with...well, pretty much everything.
I know I can't let go. Don't go freaking out like my doctor and yelling and such. I shan't do anything stupid, if for no other reason than because I have a daughter who needs me.
I just feel so....empty. I am no longer able to connect, at this point. Nothing touches me. I am distant, remote, protected, isolated.
"I'm so stupid in love with you, it's ridiculous. You know that, right?"
And he does, of course. One of two reasons he's still around. The other is fear. Guilt and fear. I can look into him and see it written all over. He's afraid to have a life that doesn't include me, for whatever reason. And he doesn't want to live with the guilt that leaving me would bring.
So he hurts me every day.
I know I can't let go. Don't go freaking out like my doctor and yelling and such. I shan't do anything stupid, if for no other reason than because I have a daughter who needs me.
I just feel so....empty. I am no longer able to connect, at this point. Nothing touches me. I am distant, remote, protected, isolated.
"I'm so stupid in love with you, it's ridiculous. You know that, right?"
And he does, of course. One of two reasons he's still around. The other is fear. Guilt and fear. I can look into him and see it written all over. He's afraid to have a life that doesn't include me, for whatever reason. And he doesn't want to live with the guilt that leaving me would bring.
So he hurts me every day.