Prologue: Chapter 5
Title: Prologue (chapter 5)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance/Angst
Character/Pairing: Kara/Zak and Kara/Lee
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Summary: Daybreak flashbacks, extended edition. Lee comes for the engagement party.
Six Months Later
********************
When Kara opens her eyes, he's watching her, and she frowns uncomfortably. "What are you doing?"
"Watching you sleep."
"You could have just woken me up." She eases against him.
Zak smiles at her, intent. "I love you even when you're sleeping." He sees the wonder in her eyes. "Even when you're drooling and snoring-"
She tickles him because touch is a language she knows better than love. And to make him stop.
He catches her hand, twirls his ring on her thumb. They both look at it for a moment, remembering. It's only been a week since they stood out on the balcony looking up at the stars, picking out the planets where they'd be posted someday, and he asked her quietly if she'd marry him. Be with him forever. Kara still feels the weight of it: the ring on her hand, the idea of having someone love her forever. Of course, she'd said. Of course she'd said yes.
"Are you sure you don't mind getting Lee?"
"Nope." She kisses him quickly. "But we'd better get up. You have class and I have taxi duty."
He grins as she climbs over him and out of bed, then catches her wrist at the last moment. "Don't tell him, okay?"
"You didn't already?" She tries to keep the tension out of her voice.
"I want to surprise him."
"Oh-Okay." She pulls away, slipping out of bed.
They move around the kitchen like a unit, Kara setting up the coffee maker while Zak scrambles eggs. Kara pauses a moment to watch the way his eyebrows draw together as he tries not to burn their breakfast, and she smiles. She wonders sometimes if her parents were ever like this, before they were married, before she was born: just peaceful with each other.
The coffee maker gurgles to a halt and Kara refocuses, fills her top-gun mug from the Academy and then the green one Zak uses, adds sugar and milk to Zak's the way he likes.
He takes the mug from her with a nod of thanks. Kara grins back with easy affection.
"I love you," he says with gratitude as he inhales the coffee's aroma.
Her breath still catches at the words, the feeling in his eyes. Kara's not sure she's capable of that kind of emotion, is fairly certain Socrata broke whatever inside her could have loved that fully. But they have the rest of their lives for Zak to fix her. "I love you, too," she says.
Zak's learned not to expect the words from her every time he says them, and now they catch him off guard. He turns on the full power of his smile and sets down his coffee so he can reach out and cup Kara's face with his hand.
She glances down. "Your eggs are burning," she says lightly.
Zak turns back to them, grimacing, and dumps the pan into the sink. "Oh well. We'll have to pick something up on the way in. Bagels?"
She shrugs. "Sure. I'm going to shower first." She jogs toward the bathroom; they'll have to rush now. But not too much. "Help me get cleaned up?" she calls over her shoulder. Her fiance laughs and follows her.
***
After dropping Zak off, Kara drives her truck away from the Academy campus and into the main base where inter-planetary transports arrive. Because Zak invited him just for the weekend, Lee's flying into Delphi instead of Caprica City, where their mother lives. She takes slow breaths as she navigates the base. Nervousness is creeping up on her. It's been six months since she last saw Lee, and there are still moments when it's hard to put him from her mind. She trusts him not to tell Zak what happened, but she also has a twisting fear that he won't be glad when Zak tells him they're engaged. Kara parks and heads inside. One way or the other, this will all be over by tomorrow.
Kara's in her civvies and blends in with the group of husbands, wives and children waiting to greet the assorted pilots, marines and crewmen coming in off the transports. The tumult reminds her with sudden vividness of counting knees as she stood with her mother, waiting for her dad to get home. Counting to ten over and over because it was as high as she could go until suddenly she saw Dreilide and he swung her up into his arms. She's always loved airports.
And then Lee is there, walking toward her.
The way he smiles when he sees her calls out more joy than she knew she could feel. Kara starts toward him, meets him halfway. Lee reaches out for her and pulls her to him, hugging her tightly. She tells herself there's nothing wrong with a hug, clings to him, her lips smiling against his throat. The closeness is dizzying. She doesn't have time to think, let alone stop him before he's tilted her head back, is sealing his lips over hers.
She melts into the kiss. For a moment she knows: this is it. She's not sure what it is, but the recognition floods through her. Nothing else matters.
Reality returns abruptly. Kara staggers back, fighting the heat in her body. Her mouth hangs open for a moment, her jaw wavering as she tries to form words. "Zak and I are getting married."
She bites her lips together and stares furiously at Lee's knees for a moment, not wanting to see his reaction. Then he starts to move toward her again and her gaze flickers up to his. His mouth gapes as he tries to breathe, looking for all the worlds as if she's sucker punched him.
Kara clenches her jaw, shunting her emotions away from her face. "He wanted to tell you himself, so try to look surprised."
Lee still doesn't speak.
"Come on," she finally says with false exuberance, whirling without waiting for him. "You can have his bunk for the weekend."
She drives him there in silence. When she pulls to a stop in front of the building, Kara turns to him, her voice hesitant. "Lee-"
"Don't worry about it," he says stiffly.
She takes a deep breath, uncertain what to say to ease the moment.
"I'm sorry I kissed you."
She swallows hard, remembering the kiss. All his kisses.
"I knew you were with Zak, I shouldn't have done that."
Kara nods slowly, remembering how he is about should and shouldn't, especially when he's sober.
"I'll see you later, okay?" she offers. "Zak will come by here after class in a couple hours. His bunk is in 263."
"I'll act surprised," Lee promises, forcing a smile and then, when she grins, grinning back.
Kara holds his gaze too long, then breaks away abruptly. "See you, Lee."
"Bye."
***
She's just finished dressing that evening when she hears a key turn in the lock, and Kara smooths the silk of her top quickly as she darts out of the bedroom.
Zak descends the stairs, smiling broadly. Lee enters behind him.
"Congratulations!" Lee says enthusiastically as they reach her and Zak leans in for a kiss.
"You look great," Zak murmurs in her ear.
Kara speaks over his shoulder to Lee. "Thanks!"
"You ready for the party?" Zak asks.
"Yup!" she proclaims, and leads them up the stairs, careful not to pass too close to the wrong brother.
In the car, Lee tries to make small talk. "So, you got official approval for your relationship?" he asks from the back seat.
Kara snorts. "Well, once we're married, we'll have it one way or the other."
Zak rests a hand on her shoulder, looks over his arm at Lee. "It's not technically against regs, since Kara's not my instructor this term, but we're keeping it quiet. It'll just be a few friends at the engagement party tonight. In a week I'll have taken my flight test, and in a month I'll graduate, and then we can shout it from the rooftops."
Lee doesn't miss the smile that flickers over Kara's face as she listens to the story.
"After all, can't have Starbuck here grounded longer than she can stand."
***
Lee hangs back as they head into the bar, relieved that it isn't the one he and Kara went to the last time he was on Caprica. His brother leads the way to a recessed table in the back where a dozen or so people are already gathered. They're in a mix of uniforms and civilian clothes, but their musculature gives them all away as part of the Fleet. Lee can tell right away which are nuggets; he assumes the rest are pilots or mechanics from the base.
Zak makes introductions quickly while one of the nuggets brings over champagne. Kara's eyes light up at the gesture and Lee tries not to watch her too noticeably.
His younger brother takes the first glass and raps it with his knuckles. The group laughs as the champagne nearly spills.
"I'd like to make a toast," Zak declares, looking proudly at Kara. Everyone else takes their glasses and settles down. Lee leans against the wall, trying to be pleased for Zak.
He raises his glass. "I came to the Academy," Zak starts, "because it was what I was always supposed to do," he toasts to Lee for a moment, irony in his eyes. "And I was never sure about it like Lee, but now I'm so glad I did." He turns to Kara. "The first time I saw you, you were yelling obscenities at me." The group laughs; a few of the other cadets cheer. "But all I noticed was how beautiful you were. I never expected you'd turn out to be an amazing person, too, or that you'd even give me a chance." His eyes are alight as he stares into Kara's face and Lee looks at her now, sees how enthralled she is by Zak's words. "I love you so much, Kara," Zak finishes simply. "And I always will." The crowd explodes again as the couple kisses, Zak's hand closing over Kara's where her ring glimmers in the bar's dim lighting.
Lee closes his eyes after a moment. They're going to be married. It sinks in for the first time. She will always be Zak's.
As they separate, Zak arches an eyebrow at Kara. "Your turn."
Lee opens his eyes again at the words, just in time to catch the hesitation in Kara's face. But then she calms, nods at Zak, and lifts her own glass. She's blushing slightly, self-conscious.
Kara clears her throat. "When I was little," she starts, staring at her glass, then suddenly up at Lee, "my father probably said he loved me, but I don't really remember. And before my mom died, she and I-" She swallows hard. "We always had a hard relationship." Kara lets out a shaky breath. "And so when I met Zak I didn't have a family, never really had. But he gave me one." She turns toward him. "He was the first person to make me feel like I was loved, like I belonged with him, like together we were enough of a family. And I am so, so grateful for that."
Zak is mesmerized by her words, and Lee doesn't blame him. At the same time, he knows this speech is for him. This is why Kara didn't kiss him back this morning: his brother loves her.
"I love you," Kara finishes, turning slowly toward Lee. "And it's the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Lee's shoulders sag as he realizes that she's not exaggerating. Whatever she's alluding to with her parents, it was terrible. He thinks of his mother's drinking, his father's absence. At least he always knew they loved him. He watches as Zak hugs Kara close and their friends all drink in celebration. She does deserve to be happy. But it doesn't stop him from wanting her to be his.
The party picks up now that the toasts are over, and Lee chats with a couple of Raptor instructors who work with Kara. He tries not to watch her too closely but can't help noticing when she leaves Zak's side and heads down the hallway to the bathrooms. After a minute or two, he follows her.
Kara's already stepping out of the bathroom when he reaches her, and her faces seems to pale in the dimness. She stops a few feet from him and holds herself stiffly. "Hey, Lee," she says softly.
"I'm sorry," he says, the words coming out unexpectedly.
Her eyes grow wide in alarm.
Lee shakes his head as he realizes what she's thinking. "Don't worry, I didn't tell him anything. I meant-I'm sorry that your life was hard."
Kara looks at him warily and Lee flinches at how it must sound. He takes a step toward her, rests his hands on Kara's shoulders, doesn't miss the way her hands twitch as she resists raising them to touch him too. Then he catches her eyes, trying to say what he wants to say without screwing it up. "Just because he's the first person who's loved you doesn't mean he's the person you should spend the rest of your life with."
Kara jerks back, recoiling from his words, but doesn't pull away from his touch or his gaze. Her eyes are solemn as she shakes her head. "We're engaged," she says, but her tone is uncertain.
Lee's hand strokes her bare shoulder as he watches Kara's teeth sink into her lower lip and wants to kiss the tension away. "I love him too," he says, his voice strained. "But you and I-"
"Hey, guys!" Zak's voice calls from behind him.
Kara's eyes dart over Lee's shoulder.
Zak stops beside them, his eyes narrowing at the the tension in Kara's face and the power in Lee's stance.
Lee pulls away from her quickly.
"What's going on?"
He tries to shrug off the question. "I was just offering my congratulations."
"He was trying to find out about my frakked family life," Kara cuts into his too-obvious lie. "Don't worry, I've assured him I don't plan to bring any of my old baggage into our marriage." Her eyes hold Lee's, apology lurking in their depths.
Zak grins at her in response and takes the hand Kara extends, pulling her back toward the party.
As she passes him, Kara's arm brushes Lee's. He thinks about grabbing her free hand, but doesn't. Instead he just turns and watches them return to their friends, hands still joined.
After a minute Lee goes back into the bar, but not to their group. He heads instead for the long counter where there are plenty of girls and drinks to distract him from Kara. Time stretches before him and Lee is suddenly outraged, angry at the knowledge that the rest of his life will be spent jealous of his younger brother, constantly orbiting the one woman he can't have, always hoping-as he hopes even now-that she'll change her mind.
***********
Chapter 6
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance/Angst
Character/Pairing: Kara/Zak and Kara/Lee
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Summary: Daybreak flashbacks, extended edition. Lee comes for the engagement party.
Six Months Later
********************
When Kara opens her eyes, he's watching her, and she frowns uncomfortably. "What are you doing?"
"Watching you sleep."
"You could have just woken me up." She eases against him.
Zak smiles at her, intent. "I love you even when you're sleeping." He sees the wonder in her eyes. "Even when you're drooling and snoring-"
She tickles him because touch is a language she knows better than love. And to make him stop.
He catches her hand, twirls his ring on her thumb. They both look at it for a moment, remembering. It's only been a week since they stood out on the balcony looking up at the stars, picking out the planets where they'd be posted someday, and he asked her quietly if she'd marry him. Be with him forever. Kara still feels the weight of it: the ring on her hand, the idea of having someone love her forever. Of course, she'd said. Of course she'd said yes.
"Are you sure you don't mind getting Lee?"
"Nope." She kisses him quickly. "But we'd better get up. You have class and I have taxi duty."
He grins as she climbs over him and out of bed, then catches her wrist at the last moment. "Don't tell him, okay?"
"You didn't already?" She tries to keep the tension out of her voice.
"I want to surprise him."
"Oh-Okay." She pulls away, slipping out of bed.
They move around the kitchen like a unit, Kara setting up the coffee maker while Zak scrambles eggs. Kara pauses a moment to watch the way his eyebrows draw together as he tries not to burn their breakfast, and she smiles. She wonders sometimes if her parents were ever like this, before they were married, before she was born: just peaceful with each other.
The coffee maker gurgles to a halt and Kara refocuses, fills her top-gun mug from the Academy and then the green one Zak uses, adds sugar and milk to Zak's the way he likes.
He takes the mug from her with a nod of thanks. Kara grins back with easy affection.
"I love you," he says with gratitude as he inhales the coffee's aroma.
Her breath still catches at the words, the feeling in his eyes. Kara's not sure she's capable of that kind of emotion, is fairly certain Socrata broke whatever inside her could have loved that fully. But they have the rest of their lives for Zak to fix her. "I love you, too," she says.
Zak's learned not to expect the words from her every time he says them, and now they catch him off guard. He turns on the full power of his smile and sets down his coffee so he can reach out and cup Kara's face with his hand.
She glances down. "Your eggs are burning," she says lightly.
Zak turns back to them, grimacing, and dumps the pan into the sink. "Oh well. We'll have to pick something up on the way in. Bagels?"
She shrugs. "Sure. I'm going to shower first." She jogs toward the bathroom; they'll have to rush now. But not too much. "Help me get cleaned up?" she calls over her shoulder. Her fiance laughs and follows her.
***
After dropping Zak off, Kara drives her truck away from the Academy campus and into the main base where inter-planetary transports arrive. Because Zak invited him just for the weekend, Lee's flying into Delphi instead of Caprica City, where their mother lives. She takes slow breaths as she navigates the base. Nervousness is creeping up on her. It's been six months since she last saw Lee, and there are still moments when it's hard to put him from her mind. She trusts him not to tell Zak what happened, but she also has a twisting fear that he won't be glad when Zak tells him they're engaged. Kara parks and heads inside. One way or the other, this will all be over by tomorrow.
Kara's in her civvies and blends in with the group of husbands, wives and children waiting to greet the assorted pilots, marines and crewmen coming in off the transports. The tumult reminds her with sudden vividness of counting knees as she stood with her mother, waiting for her dad to get home. Counting to ten over and over because it was as high as she could go until suddenly she saw Dreilide and he swung her up into his arms. She's always loved airports.
And then Lee is there, walking toward her.
The way he smiles when he sees her calls out more joy than she knew she could feel. Kara starts toward him, meets him halfway. Lee reaches out for her and pulls her to him, hugging her tightly. She tells herself there's nothing wrong with a hug, clings to him, her lips smiling against his throat. The closeness is dizzying. She doesn't have time to think, let alone stop him before he's tilted her head back, is sealing his lips over hers.
She melts into the kiss. For a moment she knows: this is it. She's not sure what it is, but the recognition floods through her. Nothing else matters.
Reality returns abruptly. Kara staggers back, fighting the heat in her body. Her mouth hangs open for a moment, her jaw wavering as she tries to form words. "Zak and I are getting married."
She bites her lips together and stares furiously at Lee's knees for a moment, not wanting to see his reaction. Then he starts to move toward her again and her gaze flickers up to his. His mouth gapes as he tries to breathe, looking for all the worlds as if she's sucker punched him.
Kara clenches her jaw, shunting her emotions away from her face. "He wanted to tell you himself, so try to look surprised."
Lee still doesn't speak.
"Come on," she finally says with false exuberance, whirling without waiting for him. "You can have his bunk for the weekend."
She drives him there in silence. When she pulls to a stop in front of the building, Kara turns to him, her voice hesitant. "Lee-"
"Don't worry about it," he says stiffly.
She takes a deep breath, uncertain what to say to ease the moment.
"I'm sorry I kissed you."
She swallows hard, remembering the kiss. All his kisses.
"I knew you were with Zak, I shouldn't have done that."
Kara nods slowly, remembering how he is about should and shouldn't, especially when he's sober.
"I'll see you later, okay?" she offers. "Zak will come by here after class in a couple hours. His bunk is in 263."
"I'll act surprised," Lee promises, forcing a smile and then, when she grins, grinning back.
Kara holds his gaze too long, then breaks away abruptly. "See you, Lee."
"Bye."
***
She's just finished dressing that evening when she hears a key turn in the lock, and Kara smooths the silk of her top quickly as she darts out of the bedroom.
Zak descends the stairs, smiling broadly. Lee enters behind him.
"Congratulations!" Lee says enthusiastically as they reach her and Zak leans in for a kiss.
"You look great," Zak murmurs in her ear.
Kara speaks over his shoulder to Lee. "Thanks!"
"You ready for the party?" Zak asks.
"Yup!" she proclaims, and leads them up the stairs, careful not to pass too close to the wrong brother.
In the car, Lee tries to make small talk. "So, you got official approval for your relationship?" he asks from the back seat.
Kara snorts. "Well, once we're married, we'll have it one way or the other."
Zak rests a hand on her shoulder, looks over his arm at Lee. "It's not technically against regs, since Kara's not my instructor this term, but we're keeping it quiet. It'll just be a few friends at the engagement party tonight. In a week I'll have taken my flight test, and in a month I'll graduate, and then we can shout it from the rooftops."
Lee doesn't miss the smile that flickers over Kara's face as she listens to the story.
"After all, can't have Starbuck here grounded longer than she can stand."
***
Lee hangs back as they head into the bar, relieved that it isn't the one he and Kara went to the last time he was on Caprica. His brother leads the way to a recessed table in the back where a dozen or so people are already gathered. They're in a mix of uniforms and civilian clothes, but their musculature gives them all away as part of the Fleet. Lee can tell right away which are nuggets; he assumes the rest are pilots or mechanics from the base.
Zak makes introductions quickly while one of the nuggets brings over champagne. Kara's eyes light up at the gesture and Lee tries not to watch her too noticeably.
His younger brother takes the first glass and raps it with his knuckles. The group laughs as the champagne nearly spills.
"I'd like to make a toast," Zak declares, looking proudly at Kara. Everyone else takes their glasses and settles down. Lee leans against the wall, trying to be pleased for Zak.
He raises his glass. "I came to the Academy," Zak starts, "because it was what I was always supposed to do," he toasts to Lee for a moment, irony in his eyes. "And I was never sure about it like Lee, but now I'm so glad I did." He turns to Kara. "The first time I saw you, you were yelling obscenities at me." The group laughs; a few of the other cadets cheer. "But all I noticed was how beautiful you were. I never expected you'd turn out to be an amazing person, too, or that you'd even give me a chance." His eyes are alight as he stares into Kara's face and Lee looks at her now, sees how enthralled she is by Zak's words. "I love you so much, Kara," Zak finishes simply. "And I always will." The crowd explodes again as the couple kisses, Zak's hand closing over Kara's where her ring glimmers in the bar's dim lighting.
Lee closes his eyes after a moment. They're going to be married. It sinks in for the first time. She will always be Zak's.
As they separate, Zak arches an eyebrow at Kara. "Your turn."
Lee opens his eyes again at the words, just in time to catch the hesitation in Kara's face. But then she calms, nods at Zak, and lifts her own glass. She's blushing slightly, self-conscious.
Kara clears her throat. "When I was little," she starts, staring at her glass, then suddenly up at Lee, "my father probably said he loved me, but I don't really remember. And before my mom died, she and I-" She swallows hard. "We always had a hard relationship." Kara lets out a shaky breath. "And so when I met Zak I didn't have a family, never really had. But he gave me one." She turns toward him. "He was the first person to make me feel like I was loved, like I belonged with him, like together we were enough of a family. And I am so, so grateful for that."
Zak is mesmerized by her words, and Lee doesn't blame him. At the same time, he knows this speech is for him. This is why Kara didn't kiss him back this morning: his brother loves her.
"I love you," Kara finishes, turning slowly toward Lee. "And it's the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Lee's shoulders sag as he realizes that she's not exaggerating. Whatever she's alluding to with her parents, it was terrible. He thinks of his mother's drinking, his father's absence. At least he always knew they loved him. He watches as Zak hugs Kara close and their friends all drink in celebration. She does deserve to be happy. But it doesn't stop him from wanting her to be his.
The party picks up now that the toasts are over, and Lee chats with a couple of Raptor instructors who work with Kara. He tries not to watch her too closely but can't help noticing when she leaves Zak's side and heads down the hallway to the bathrooms. After a minute or two, he follows her.
Kara's already stepping out of the bathroom when he reaches her, and her faces seems to pale in the dimness. She stops a few feet from him and holds herself stiffly. "Hey, Lee," she says softly.
"I'm sorry," he says, the words coming out unexpectedly.
Her eyes grow wide in alarm.
Lee shakes his head as he realizes what she's thinking. "Don't worry, I didn't tell him anything. I meant-I'm sorry that your life was hard."
Kara looks at him warily and Lee flinches at how it must sound. He takes a step toward her, rests his hands on Kara's shoulders, doesn't miss the way her hands twitch as she resists raising them to touch him too. Then he catches her eyes, trying to say what he wants to say without screwing it up. "Just because he's the first person who's loved you doesn't mean he's the person you should spend the rest of your life with."
Kara jerks back, recoiling from his words, but doesn't pull away from his touch or his gaze. Her eyes are solemn as she shakes her head. "We're engaged," she says, but her tone is uncertain.
Lee's hand strokes her bare shoulder as he watches Kara's teeth sink into her lower lip and wants to kiss the tension away. "I love him too," he says, his voice strained. "But you and I-"
"Hey, guys!" Zak's voice calls from behind him.
Kara's eyes dart over Lee's shoulder.
Zak stops beside them, his eyes narrowing at the the tension in Kara's face and the power in Lee's stance.
Lee pulls away from her quickly.
"What's going on?"
He tries to shrug off the question. "I was just offering my congratulations."
"He was trying to find out about my frakked family life," Kara cuts into his too-obvious lie. "Don't worry, I've assured him I don't plan to bring any of my old baggage into our marriage." Her eyes hold Lee's, apology lurking in their depths.
Zak grins at her in response and takes the hand Kara extends, pulling her back toward the party.
As she passes him, Kara's arm brushes Lee's. He thinks about grabbing her free hand, but doesn't. Instead he just turns and watches them return to their friends, hands still joined.
After a minute Lee goes back into the bar, but not to their group. He heads instead for the long counter where there are plenty of girls and drinks to distract him from Kara. Time stretches before him and Lee is suddenly outraged, angry at the knowledge that the rest of his life will be spent jealous of his younger brother, constantly orbiting the one woman he can't have, always hoping-as he hopes even now-that she'll change her mind.
***********
Chapter 6