the saga continues again
sighness. ok just to start off i would like to say that half the stuff i write in here i know is really petty, but its easier for me to sleep at night not havin all this anger and thoughts buzzing round my head. thereby i write them down, in the best place i can, my livejournal. i dont care that some people may be offended by what i say, but the easiest way for me to be civil these days is for me to vent. venting helps me stay sane. ok? so i'm sorry anthony if my screaming at ur frigid rake girlfriend hit a nerve, but if u dont want me to randomly start crying, or screaming etc at her, or andrew, or some unsuspecting and undeserving victim ie you, then let me vent.
Right okay, now we got that over with, i can be selfish and vent about the unfairness of the world.
Kelsey's being a bitch and saying Mike forced her into the "thing" (thats how i am referring to it now. i dont really want to think about that). i'm nopt spelling it out for every1 coz kelsey will get really really mad and upset. so anywho, natalie and josh were all sticking up for her, like how could he do that, and miffy was sticking up for mike, he loved her so much he wouldnt do that. and i am just siting there, trying to be nice to kelsey, trying to be nice to miffy, but just going quietly insane. now for my lovely selfish part. i dont want to picture the "thing". i dont want mike to love kelsey i dont want kelsey to love mike. i want mike to think about me and only me and not kelsey. i want to forget they did the "thing". i dont want details (thanks miffy). i love mike and, being the selfish bitch of a person i am, i dont want him to ever love anyone else, not even one of my bestest friends. i dont think they realise (and i dont mean this in a spitefull way, just stating fact) that it hurts me to think of them together. sure i want to help, but it just hurts to think about the person you love with anyone else, especially one of your best friends. i love mike with every part of my soul, and (i am selfish, i know, and this sounds cruel) i despise kelsey when i am reminded of them together. no offence kelsey. but i'm sorry if i wasnt sticking up for you all that much today. you too miffy. everyone i'm sorry! i cant help the way i am. so today i am venting about myself (change for once) and at the moment i want to burst into tears and punch a wall at the same time. i havent felt like this in a long time.
and now i'm trying to tell kelly how to feel and what to do.... i wish people would stop asking me for advise. you dont want to turn out like me, trust me! just leave me alone in the darkness of misery.