And The Dumbass Award Goes To...A Harpy Rant
UPDATED. Here's the final, IC version. Ba-Dow!
Alright, so I have some things to report about the last gather in Mt. Pleasant.
Some of them aren't very nice, but dammit, people, I've just about had it with nice. You might get angry, but that's ok. Maybe you'll do stupid things more privately next time.
And the Dumb-Ass award goes to:
The ones who planned and executed the burning of Isaac DelaCroix's Carthian estate. Seriously, what the HELL were you thinking? Oh wait, I know. You weren't. Or perhaps you thought we were all idiots too? Maybe.
It was suggested that an outside force brought this all down in an ingenious plan to cause dissension. I would be impressed, but I don't believe it. No, I think I rather believe that someone decided that it would be a great idea to burn down the estate and blame it on Ray Maycomb.
Now, let's discuss why this was so ill-conceived.
1. Although Ray can be sneaky, I would hope he would be sneakier than to set all the signs pointing at himself.
2. You picked the wrong people to work with, namely Quincey for one. Yeah, Quincey can be charming and conniving, but he also tends to repeat the same plans over and over and, oh, by the way, he's the king of selling out his co-conspirators when threatened. God, how did you not realize this?
3. If the plan was to disrupt the Carthians, it didn't succeed. Yeah, I am aware that most of the Carthians have something against me (perhaps I'm not Carthian ENOUGH?), but regardless of what they think, I will do anything, as will all but one of them to help a brother and sister out, and when we're attacked, we close ranks. Also, we're not going to start violence, though some of you think we might. We're not damn Anarchs, we're CARTHIANS, and despite what some believe, anarchy is not generally our game.
4. It was just not up to Machiavelli' s standards. Or the Prisci Council's standards, who I am pretty sure have Machiavelli study sessions. Some of them might even have signed copies.
5. Did you think there would be no fallout? That you could just deny and everyone would be like, "Oh, my bad?" Did you think that we wouldn't pursue the proof?
6. WHAT. WERE. YOU. THINKING. I'm baffled.
Ok, and now the We Didn't Want to See That Award goes to:
The Lancae Sanctum. WTF, guys? I do love you all, but could you just go ahead and close that overcoat revealing your naughty bits please? I know you've got problems; hell, EVERYONE knows you have problems, but seriously, can't we all go back to pretending that we don't know that you have problems? And when your mission is to take down a "renegade" Carthian, that is not double-speak for "Hey, let's insult and attack each other in front of Longinus and the world." Just a suggestion.
And in other LS naughtiness, to ignore a much higher status covenant member's order, despite the fact that you might or might not think she's crazy, is in bad form. Again, just a suggestion.
And BTW, Isabella, killer dress. Just an aside.
On to other things:
Isaac's outfit rocked. I swear he's the best dressed male Kindred ever.
Although in this case the ends (in most respects) justify the means, it MIGHT not be a good idea to use your superhuman powers of persuasion on poor lil Quincey in Elysium. I mean, I don't deny what you did was a great idea, but the whole in Elysium thing is going to have to be dealt with. Just letting you know.
Creepiest Kindred goes to: Cecil (that's pronounced SEH-sill). I suspect he might like it that way, though.
The What Did You Think This Would Accomplish? Award Goes to:
The individual(s) who decided to kill-stake-whatever Isaac.
SRSLY, I have a very strong believe your intel was...er...WRONG. I talked to quite a few people, and the Carthians did NOT march into Elysium with Isaac to take praxis. But then again, perhaps MY intel is wrong and this isn't why you did this. Please correct me if this is the case.
In any case, I certainly was not there for this (Hence, not all Carthians were there for the rumored praxis seizure). And everything I had heard previous to this indicated that this would not have been the case.
Finally, you didn't actually think trying to take down Mr. Congeniality would succeed, did you? Silly rabbit.
The Hey, We're Not Up To Anything Award goes to:
The Ordo Dracul. Way to go, I didn't hear anything (well, not much) about anything you are up to or any internal strife.
The Wow There's a Lot of You Award goes to:
The Unaligned. What next, a Primogen?
The It Had to Be a Conspiracy Because it Wasn't MY Fault award goes to:
All of you who are called to account for your actions, then blame someone else. Enough said.
And other things: Grog the Lost creature hung out in Elysium, and insulted everyone. I rather like him. I wonder if he'll be back. He also yelled a lot about us breaking the Pact of Ages.
Jet was busy kicking ass and taking names as usual, as were Fiona, Micah, and some of the newer Kindred to the city. I'd like to mention here how much I hate #$@&#*@!!! Hell hounds. I'm pleased to learn that Micah is having the head of one taxidermied and mounted on a plaque for posterity, which I think is a bang-up idea.
Mr. Wesson waxed poetic about government and city issues.
Mr. Gray wasn't drunk for a change.
Mr. VandenBurg was nowhere in sight for much of the night.
Lady Mara Ortega seemed a little angry much of the evening. I think her eyes shot flames a couple of times.
Christoff was a fount of enigmatic advice, and I think Brother Abraham was always slightly amused at something, although I am not sure what it was.
I didn't see Spiral. Which of course doesn't mean he wasn't there.
Miss O'Brien was understandably extremely annoyed at the news that she might be replaced as the Seneschal. I don't know if that has happened yet, but suspect that it has not. If it does, it seems the new Seneschal will be Mr. Wesson.
Ray didn't seem as annoyed as I probably would have been if I'd been him.
Isaac was charismatic and preached non-violence, despite what any of you might think.
A visiting Carthian had a physical obstacle course/game/ challenge thing that was enjoyed by those who participated.
And finally, let's talk about Quincey for a minute. Damn, man, if I could pariah you, I probably would. What is wrong with you? WHY must you embark on these stupid, STUPID plans? Why must you brag about them? No, sirrah, you are not as sneaky as you think you are. I am fairly sure that you are the lovechild of Dr. Evil and Snidely Whiplash (or perhaps you just took their telecourses? ). I feel sorry for you, actually. Does your family ADMIT to being related to you, or do they try to sort of slink away from you at parties and pretend they have no idea who you are? Do they make you wear protective head-gear? Maybe they should.
So, how many eyes are you going to pluck out to atone for THIS shit? I don't think you have enough. Sorry, sugar, but the excuse of "just following orders" isn't going to absolve you of any guilt. I'm only sorry that you thought for a second that you might not get caught.
There is one more traitorous Kindred involved in the debacle of the Carthian estate who I will mention by NOT mentioning by name. Let's call it defamation by omission. That's all you get from me, you liar. You better have a damn good reason for what you did. Not that you will ever read this.
I'm sorry if I missed anyone. You'll have to do something amazing (or ridiculous) next time, and I'll be sure to write about you.
Regards,
Lucy Strychnine
Prisci's Harpy
Carthian/Mekhet
Alright, so I have some things to report about the last gather in Mt. Pleasant.
Some of them aren't very nice, but dammit, people, I've just about had it with nice. You might get angry, but that's ok. Maybe you'll do stupid things more privately next time.
And the Dumb-Ass award goes to:
The ones who planned and executed the burning of Isaac DelaCroix's Carthian estate. Seriously, what the HELL were you thinking? Oh wait, I know. You weren't. Or perhaps you thought we were all idiots too? Maybe.
It was suggested that an outside force brought this all down in an ingenious plan to cause dissension. I would be impressed, but I don't believe it. No, I think I rather believe that someone decided that it would be a great idea to burn down the estate and blame it on Ray Maycomb.
Now, let's discuss why this was so ill-conceived.
1. Although Ray can be sneaky, I would hope he would be sneakier than to set all the signs pointing at himself.
2. You picked the wrong people to work with, namely Quincey for one. Yeah, Quincey can be charming and conniving, but he also tends to repeat the same plans over and over and, oh, by the way, he's the king of selling out his co-conspirators when threatened. God, how did you not realize this?
3. If the plan was to disrupt the Carthians, it didn't succeed. Yeah, I am aware that most of the Carthians have something against me (perhaps I'm not Carthian ENOUGH?), but regardless of what they think, I will do anything, as will all but one of them to help a brother and sister out, and when we're attacked, we close ranks. Also, we're not going to start violence, though some of you think we might. We're not damn Anarchs, we're CARTHIANS, and despite what some believe, anarchy is not generally our game.
4. It was just not up to Machiavelli' s standards. Or the Prisci Council's standards, who I am pretty sure have Machiavelli study sessions. Some of them might even have signed copies.
5. Did you think there would be no fallout? That you could just deny and everyone would be like, "Oh, my bad?" Did you think that we wouldn't pursue the proof?
6. WHAT. WERE. YOU. THINKING. I'm baffled.
Ok, and now the We Didn't Want to See That Award goes to:
The Lancae Sanctum. WTF, guys? I do love you all, but could you just go ahead and close that overcoat revealing your naughty bits please? I know you've got problems; hell, EVERYONE knows you have problems, but seriously, can't we all go back to pretending that we don't know that you have problems? And when your mission is to take down a "renegade" Carthian, that is not double-speak for "Hey, let's insult and attack each other in front of Longinus and the world." Just a suggestion.
And in other LS naughtiness, to ignore a much higher status covenant member's order, despite the fact that you might or might not think she's crazy, is in bad form. Again, just a suggestion.
And BTW, Isabella, killer dress. Just an aside.
On to other things:
Isaac's outfit rocked. I swear he's the best dressed male Kindred ever.
Although in this case the ends (in most respects) justify the means, it MIGHT not be a good idea to use your superhuman powers of persuasion on poor lil Quincey in Elysium. I mean, I don't deny what you did was a great idea, but the whole in Elysium thing is going to have to be dealt with. Just letting you know.
Creepiest Kindred goes to: Cecil (that's pronounced SEH-sill). I suspect he might like it that way, though.
The What Did You Think This Would Accomplish? Award Goes to:
The individual(s) who decided to kill-stake-whatever Isaac.
SRSLY, I have a very strong believe your intel was...er...WRONG. I talked to quite a few people, and the Carthians did NOT march into Elysium with Isaac to take praxis. But then again, perhaps MY intel is wrong and this isn't why you did this. Please correct me if this is the case.
In any case, I certainly was not there for this (Hence, not all Carthians were there for the rumored praxis seizure). And everything I had heard previous to this indicated that this would not have been the case.
Finally, you didn't actually think trying to take down Mr. Congeniality would succeed, did you? Silly rabbit.
The Hey, We're Not Up To Anything Award goes to:
The Ordo Dracul. Way to go, I didn't hear anything (well, not much) about anything you are up to or any internal strife.
The Wow There's a Lot of You Award goes to:
The Unaligned. What next, a Primogen?
The It Had to Be a Conspiracy Because it Wasn't MY Fault award goes to:
All of you who are called to account for your actions, then blame someone else. Enough said.
And other things: Grog the Lost creature hung out in Elysium, and insulted everyone. I rather like him. I wonder if he'll be back. He also yelled a lot about us breaking the Pact of Ages.
Jet was busy kicking ass and taking names as usual, as were Fiona, Micah, and some of the newer Kindred to the city. I'd like to mention here how much I hate #$@&#*@!!! Hell hounds. I'm pleased to learn that Micah is having the head of one taxidermied and mounted on a plaque for posterity, which I think is a bang-up idea.
Mr. Wesson waxed poetic about government and city issues.
Mr. Gray wasn't drunk for a change.
Mr. VandenBurg was nowhere in sight for much of the night.
Lady Mara Ortega seemed a little angry much of the evening. I think her eyes shot flames a couple of times.
Christoff was a fount of enigmatic advice, and I think Brother Abraham was always slightly amused at something, although I am not sure what it was.
I didn't see Spiral. Which of course doesn't mean he wasn't there.
Miss O'Brien was understandably extremely annoyed at the news that she might be replaced as the Seneschal. I don't know if that has happened yet, but suspect that it has not. If it does, it seems the new Seneschal will be Mr. Wesson.
Ray didn't seem as annoyed as I probably would have been if I'd been him.
Isaac was charismatic and preached non-violence, despite what any of you might think.
A visiting Carthian had a physical obstacle course/game/ challenge thing that was enjoyed by those who participated.
And finally, let's talk about Quincey for a minute. Damn, man, if I could pariah you, I probably would. What is wrong with you? WHY must you embark on these stupid, STUPID plans? Why must you brag about them? No, sirrah, you are not as sneaky as you think you are. I am fairly sure that you are the lovechild of Dr. Evil and Snidely Whiplash (or perhaps you just took their telecourses? ). I feel sorry for you, actually. Does your family ADMIT to being related to you, or do they try to sort of slink away from you at parties and pretend they have no idea who you are? Do they make you wear protective head-gear? Maybe they should.
So, how many eyes are you going to pluck out to atone for THIS shit? I don't think you have enough. Sorry, sugar, but the excuse of "just following orders" isn't going to absolve you of any guilt. I'm only sorry that you thought for a second that you might not get caught.
There is one more traitorous Kindred involved in the debacle of the Carthian estate who I will mention by NOT mentioning by name. Let's call it defamation by omission. That's all you get from me, you liar. You better have a damn good reason for what you did. Not that you will ever read this.
I'm sorry if I missed anyone. You'll have to do something amazing (or ridiculous) next time, and I'll be sure to write about you.
Regards,
Lucy Strychnine
Prisci's Harpy
Carthian/Mekhet