Its funny because Ive been waiting for this, waiting for the day that you'd respond to one of my livejournal posts, but your wrong about a few things, i am fucked up in a way you arent, Im blind by the people who claim to care about me, blind by how i feel, i take people for granted, but..you are right about all the other stuff you said, Your right i'd really rather not talk to you, because the stuff that you said to me on the phone/text that night was one of the most fucked up thing a person has EVER said to me, and then to claim that you care about me SO damn much, its slightly hard to believe, if you cared, you wouldnt of said all that stuff, I'm sorry but a friend, or any person with human feelings would know that the stuff you said to me hurt so much, that after i got off the phone with you, i cried, i regret ever going to your house, seeing you, taking those cds, man thats what i seem to be doing alot, regreting stuff, but..i dont know, its a hard life. you fucked up, you learn and you dont do it again, you have to realize that no matter what you do chris, People will care about you, but when you push them away like you pushed me away, you hurt people, you really hurt yourself....so next time you care about someone, do them a favor, let them know that in a year, you'll be pushing them away, maybe by warning them like you didnt warn me, they'll stick around. It hurts to type this, It hurts to not talk to you, it hurts that in the middle of the night i cant call you. but...You dont need me, Its not convienant for you. Whatever chris. I'm sorry that you fucked up. Im sorry for ever caring. Im sorry for TRYING to be your friend.
A friend of mine died in a car accident. I'm sorry but as much as me messing up our friendship is bothering me, it's almost the last thing on my mind. The only thing that matters to me now is that my friend is dead and I'm never going to see him again. The only thing that matters to me is that I was at the hospital with him when he died. I've lost one friend forever and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't want to lose you, but it seems like I already have. I'm glad that when you're up late at night you can call Mario or Cynthia or someone. I don't have anyone to call anymore. I'm glad that I knew you, even if I'll never know you again.
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