And in these times, I lose my worried mind.
So yeah, I'm home alone again. I really want to go back to school.
The Night I Disappeared
My mind floats from the drug the doctor gave me, but still I'm aware of my mom's presence, of the light touch of her fingers as she brushes some hair out of my eyes.
"What time is it?" I ask.
"It's late. The doctor's just letting me see you for a minute before I go home."
"I don't need to be here, Mom."
"We'll talk about it tomorrow. Go back to sleep."
I close my eyes. When I open them again, I open them to a stark reality of daylight. It's bad enough to find myself in this hospital room - minus my clothes and outfitted in a baggy white gown and robe - but there's a steel grill on the window. I can't take my eyes off it. It's not one of those decorative grills you see on fancy homes designed to keep burglars out; this grill is ugly, it's purpose simple: to keep someone like me in.
I'm finished with The Night I Disappared, it was an awesome book. A lot better than I thought it would be. I'm going to the book store today to pick up a couple of new reads. I'm hoping to borrow The Perks Of Being A Wallflower from megan, and andrea's giving me Cut tomorrow. Ah, reading <3. Here's a bit from the other book I just finished ;).
Big Mouth, & Ugly Girl
There were kids at Rocky River Highschool whose dads worked for my dad at Drummond, which was kind of embarrassing. Dad's truest life was elsewhere, not confined to out six-bedroom white colonial in Rocky River, even if that house was his and Mom's "dream house" on three acres of prime real estate. Sure, I'd cared when I was younger. Before I was Ugly Girl. By the time I left the shower, the locker room was dead silent. I toweled my hair dry over a sink. Combed out snarls with swift, fierce tugs of my steel comb. Avoiding my reflection in the mirror. My skin was reddened from the water but I was feeling a little better. I'd scoured away my rage and hurt. No one had seen Ugly Girl cry, and no one ever would. Ugly girl stands alone. Still, I didn't want much to leave the locker room. Where it was safe. I could see why a wounded animal creeps away to hide. My knee was hurting again, and all my bones felt cracked. My guts swirled with that sick flu feeling. Maybe it was only flu? I hoped so, not the symptoms of an Inky Black mood coming on. And that's when I heard the horrible shrieks, "Ugly Girl! We'll never forgive you."
Wicked sad, but good book. You should defiently read it, if you haven't already.
I'm not sure what my obssession for reading has been latley. It's just been like, I see my books and I all of a sudden have to read. It's nice though. It's better than sitting in front of the t.v. all day. I've done a lot of reading the past week that I've been sick. I still have three books "lined up" to read next, and I'm going to get some more today. After my doctors appt. that is. She's going to tell me whether I can go back tomorrow, I hope so. It feels like I've been out for months, I hate just sitting around. Well, ok I don't hate it..but I hate when I get bored. I especially hate when it gets quiet. I can't deal with silence, and I don't know why. But sometimes, I like having the t.v on just so there's noise. I've never dealt with silence well. I wonder why. When it's quiet, sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, I start to see these little swirly things all over, and they won't go away, until I look at something like a picture real hard. But even then they don't always go away. It happens to me in the dark too. It's really strange. Maybe not.
The Night I Disappeared
My mind floats from the drug the doctor gave me, but still I'm aware of my mom's presence, of the light touch of her fingers as she brushes some hair out of my eyes.
"What time is it?" I ask.
"It's late. The doctor's just letting me see you for a minute before I go home."
"I don't need to be here, Mom."
"We'll talk about it tomorrow. Go back to sleep."
I close my eyes. When I open them again, I open them to a stark reality of daylight. It's bad enough to find myself in this hospital room - minus my clothes and outfitted in a baggy white gown and robe - but there's a steel grill on the window. I can't take my eyes off it. It's not one of those decorative grills you see on fancy homes designed to keep burglars out; this grill is ugly, it's purpose simple: to keep someone like me in.
I'm finished with The Night I Disappared, it was an awesome book. A lot better than I thought it would be. I'm going to the book store today to pick up a couple of new reads. I'm hoping to borrow The Perks Of Being A Wallflower from megan, and andrea's giving me Cut tomorrow. Ah, reading <3. Here's a bit from the other book I just finished ;).
Big Mouth, & Ugly Girl
There were kids at Rocky River Highschool whose dads worked for my dad at Drummond, which was kind of embarrassing. Dad's truest life was elsewhere, not confined to out six-bedroom white colonial in Rocky River, even if that house was his and Mom's "dream house" on three acres of prime real estate. Sure, I'd cared when I was younger. Before I was Ugly Girl. By the time I left the shower, the locker room was dead silent. I toweled my hair dry over a sink. Combed out snarls with swift, fierce tugs of my steel comb. Avoiding my reflection in the mirror. My skin was reddened from the water but I was feeling a little better. I'd scoured away my rage and hurt. No one had seen Ugly Girl cry, and no one ever would. Ugly girl stands alone. Still, I didn't want much to leave the locker room. Where it was safe. I could see why a wounded animal creeps away to hide. My knee was hurting again, and all my bones felt cracked. My guts swirled with that sick flu feeling. Maybe it was only flu? I hoped so, not the symptoms of an Inky Black mood coming on. And that's when I heard the horrible shrieks, "Ugly Girl! We'll never forgive you."
Wicked sad, but good book. You should defiently read it, if you haven't already.
I'm not sure what my obssession for reading has been latley. It's just been like, I see my books and I all of a sudden have to read. It's nice though. It's better than sitting in front of the t.v. all day. I've done a lot of reading the past week that I've been sick. I still have three books "lined up" to read next, and I'm going to get some more today. After my doctors appt. that is. She's going to tell me whether I can go back tomorrow, I hope so. It feels like I've been out for months, I hate just sitting around. Well, ok I don't hate it..but I hate when I get bored. I especially hate when it gets quiet. I can't deal with silence, and I don't know why. But sometimes, I like having the t.v on just so there's noise. I've never dealt with silence well. I wonder why. When it's quiet, sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, I start to see these little swirly things all over, and they won't go away, until I look at something like a picture real hard. But even then they don't always go away. It happens to me in the dark too. It's really strange. Maybe not.