Harry Potter foilers
Are you madly reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, rushing to finish before someone manages to spoil you? Well, relax, brothers and sisters. You can look behind the cut and read some 100% made up out of whole cloth, completely safe foilers.
Come on... click it, you know you want to...
1. On page 37, Bruce Willis dies.
2. On page 54, Hermoine casts a spell that reveals how they get those eight great tomatoes in that little bitty can.
3. On page 65, we learn that Jaye Davison is a man ... well, sort of.
4. On page 89, the ship hits an iceberg and sinks.
5. On page 106, Ron discovers that the king of France has a twin that is being held prisoner in an iron mask.
6. On page 122, Snape gets pregnant, but can't see himself as a single mother, so he gives the baby up for adoption.
7. On page 167, it's discovered that Hogwarts was built over an Indian burial ground (who knew they had them in the UK?) and a very short psychic does an exorcism.
8. On page 225, Enkidu gains "enlightenment" with a courtesan.
9. On page 310, Hermoine sets out to hunt and kill the great white whale. She catches a perch and decides its good enough.
10. On page 387, Ron decides he wants to be a sheep dog. The singing mice and other talking animals help him, and he wins the big sheep dog contest.
11. On page 451, Neville buys a gun, steals a car, tries to run, but he doesn't get far. Elvis was quite perspicacious to sing about this in the 1960s. (The ultimate spoiler!)
12. On page 496, Harry uncovers a spell that puts the Bop in the Bop-she-bop-bop.
13. On page 572, Remus Lupin reveals that soylent green is made of people.
14. On page 622, Draco has to shoot his dog, Old Yeller, because it has rabies.
15. On page 715, Odysseus returns to find Penelope about to marry someone else and goes bananas.
16. And finally, on the last page, page 749, Harry discovers that Voldemort has been supporting himself all these years by answering doors at a mansion. Yes, it's true... the butler did it.
DISCLAIMER: No actual spoilers were revealed in this post.
Come on... click it, you know you want to...
1. On page 37, Bruce Willis dies.
2. On page 54, Hermoine casts a spell that reveals how they get those eight great tomatoes in that little bitty can.
3. On page 65, we learn that Jaye Davison is a man ... well, sort of.
4. On page 89, the ship hits an iceberg and sinks.
5. On page 106, Ron discovers that the king of France has a twin that is being held prisoner in an iron mask.
6. On page 122, Snape gets pregnant, but can't see himself as a single mother, so he gives the baby up for adoption.
7. On page 167, it's discovered that Hogwarts was built over an Indian burial ground (who knew they had them in the UK?) and a very short psychic does an exorcism.
8. On page 225, Enkidu gains "enlightenment" with a courtesan.
9. On page 310, Hermoine sets out to hunt and kill the great white whale. She catches a perch and decides its good enough.
10. On page 387, Ron decides he wants to be a sheep dog. The singing mice and other talking animals help him, and he wins the big sheep dog contest.
11. On page 451, Neville buys a gun, steals a car, tries to run, but he doesn't get far. Elvis was quite perspicacious to sing about this in the 1960s. (The ultimate spoiler!)
12. On page 496, Harry uncovers a spell that puts the Bop in the Bop-she-bop-bop.
13. On page 572, Remus Lupin reveals that soylent green is made of people.
14. On page 622, Draco has to shoot his dog, Old Yeller, because it has rabies.
15. On page 715, Odysseus returns to find Penelope about to marry someone else and goes bananas.
16. And finally, on the last page, page 749, Harry discovers that Voldemort has been supporting himself all these years by answering doors at a mansion. Yes, it's true... the butler did it.
DISCLAIMER: No actual spoilers were revealed in this post.