((locked to al_intheblue ))
-Edward sits at the kitchen table. His head is in his hands and he stares at the alchemy book that lies open on the table. It's enough to make him scream in frustration, no matter how much he practices or how hard he tries to remember, he can't even work the most simple of transmutations. Hell, he can barely draw a simple array anymore. The jealousy at seeing other Ed's perform it with such ease, is enough to make him cry in failure. He doesn't want to feel second best, and what if this Pride can do alchemy? What if he tries to hurt Al because Envy tells him so? Is he even good enough for him anymore?-
"How can I protect you, when I don't even know how... I'm always the one who runs to you.." -He whimpers, on the very edge of breaking down. All the things he's afraid to tell his brother, things he fears telling him because of what he might say, of what he might do; they all sit right on the edge of pouring out. He doesn't want to be lost again, he doesn't want to be without him. But even more than that, he doesn't want to be a failure. He takes his head from his hands and looks at the small picture tacked to the wall by the clock. They're both smiling and he's giving a thumbs-up gesture, and immediately he feels guilty. For taking all that away from Al, for taking away their life-
"I'm so sorry Al, sorry for not being the brother I should be.." -He reaches out and shuts the alchemy book, pushing it off to the side-
((Hey, I have to step out for about an hour or so for work , but I'll reply when I get back later tonight ^^;; Thanks! back!))