So along comes one of those things that sears itself into your brain....
There is no fixing it. There is no erasing it. I guess the only saving grace is that perhaps this particular imagery, by being seared into *my* brain, won't haunt the girl forever. It's all so literally small, but damn I am having a rough day of it today. So:
The daughter loves geckos and about 6 months ago got a pair of leos. We accidentally aquired 3 more over the next 3 months, so she put her money into purchasing and furnishing two nice large terrariums for her pretties. She eventually decided I could have the "Mother's Day" gecko, so now I have a terrarium on my dresser that houses 1 gecko. She had decided with the two large terrariums, she could home 3 geckos in each. She babysits the breeder's gecko's occasionally, and the last time she traded him some gear for a hatchling. This little one was put into a large critter carrier since it was too young and small to be put with her bigger older ones. Extra tragic backstory - of the hatchlings, two were twins. One twin hatched with eye deformities, and died when it was about two weeks old - sadly, during the time she was babysitting them..that hit her hard enough, it had been her favorite and she was thinking of adopting it as that side of the trade. She ended up chosing the other twin, who was the smallest and youngest of the hatchlings.
And for the next month Wiggle thrived, shed twice, and was growing. Had the cutest tail wiggle when spying a mealyworm! Daughter had always intended to round out her pets with a strong orange colored geck, and she found one in a petstore a couple weeks ago. It was also a very young one, maybe about 1/3 bigger than Wiggle. After observing for a few days to make sure there were no health issues, she set up a juvenile tank for Wiggle and the orange youngling. And all was well for a week. Until she brought Halo (Orange gecko, named for the little kind of oranges) to me last night and was worried because there looked to be something lodged in her throat, she was in distress, fast shallow breathing, lethargic, distended. Well, I think you know how this story ends for one of the characters, and it is so fucking horrible. Daughter broke down crying when she realized what had happened. So did I, it wasn't even my pet but I was looking forward to watching the tiny baby continue to grow and change. So we still had a gecko that was honestly likely to die...I was able to catch her and dislodge the "obstruction" which of course was Wiggle. Is it good that we got the body back so that we could go have a little funeral? Well, yes. Also, the Halo probably would also have died part. But I'm mad at A) Halo, even though there is honestly no blame there, it's not murder in the animal kingdom, B) Me and Daughter, because hindsight is 20/20 and Wiggle should have stayed in the critter carrier until she was the same size and C) The universe, because there is no justice and no going back.
So I could barely sleep last night because the what if's won't leave me alone. It a no win brain game, but my brain insists on playing it. So I'm depressed, the daughter is depressed, and yet there are so many bigger tragedies in the world. Just...they aren't ours.
The daughter loves geckos and about 6 months ago got a pair of leos. We accidentally aquired 3 more over the next 3 months, so she put her money into purchasing and furnishing two nice large terrariums for her pretties. She eventually decided I could have the "Mother's Day" gecko, so now I have a terrarium on my dresser that houses 1 gecko. She had decided with the two large terrariums, she could home 3 geckos in each. She babysits the breeder's gecko's occasionally, and the last time she traded him some gear for a hatchling. This little one was put into a large critter carrier since it was too young and small to be put with her bigger older ones. Extra tragic backstory - of the hatchlings, two were twins. One twin hatched with eye deformities, and died when it was about two weeks old - sadly, during the time she was babysitting them..that hit her hard enough, it had been her favorite and she was thinking of adopting it as that side of the trade. She ended up chosing the other twin, who was the smallest and youngest of the hatchlings.
And for the next month Wiggle thrived, shed twice, and was growing. Had the cutest tail wiggle when spying a mealyworm! Daughter had always intended to round out her pets with a strong orange colored geck, and she found one in a petstore a couple weeks ago. It was also a very young one, maybe about 1/3 bigger than Wiggle. After observing for a few days to make sure there were no health issues, she set up a juvenile tank for Wiggle and the orange youngling. And all was well for a week. Until she brought Halo (Orange gecko, named for the little kind of oranges) to me last night and was worried because there looked to be something lodged in her throat, she was in distress, fast shallow breathing, lethargic, distended. Well, I think you know how this story ends for one of the characters, and it is so fucking horrible. Daughter broke down crying when she realized what had happened. So did I, it wasn't even my pet but I was looking forward to watching the tiny baby continue to grow and change. So we still had a gecko that was honestly likely to die...I was able to catch her and dislodge the "obstruction" which of course was Wiggle. Is it good that we got the body back so that we could go have a little funeral? Well, yes. Also, the Halo probably would also have died part. But I'm mad at A) Halo, even though there is honestly no blame there, it's not murder in the animal kingdom, B) Me and Daughter, because hindsight is 20/20 and Wiggle should have stayed in the critter carrier until she was the same size and C) The universe, because there is no justice and no going back.
So I could barely sleep last night because the what if's won't leave me alone. It a no win brain game, but my brain insists on playing it. So I'm depressed, the daughter is depressed, and yet there are so many bigger tragedies in the world. Just...they aren't ours.