A giraffe never forgets!
Its official everyone. I talked to a police officer this morning, and he told me that every single rule in place is only there to piss of the general public. Traffic lights? Bullshit, just plow right through them when they're red. If you don't feel like going at green, don't! Lanes and turn signals are merely formalities. Also feel free to sue someone when they shoot you when you try to kill them. I mean, you'd didn't actually finish the job, right? They had NO reason to flip out like that! In the same vein, its totally acceptable to flip out when one of these other police officers who doesn't know the truth about rules arrests you for doing something "illegal" right in front of him/her. For example, shop lifting. I know you're hungry and low on cash, and because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed you deserve to steal $30 worth of lunchmeat and another $200 worth of shitty jewelry from Wal-Mart. Cops just don't understand man.
I honestly believe some people wake up and accept this as fact. Occasionally on my way to and from work I'll see people come to a complete stop at a red light, sit for a second, and then take off right through the intersection. The next three people behind them are probably all mouthing the words "Alright, fuck it, lets go." as they too speed through the red light they just stopped for 20 seconds ago. This is no case of right on red, this is more like "I'm going to risk getting plowed into by 30 cars because I can't sit at a red light for 60 seconds". This is a variation on my favorite "Stop-N-Go" at four-way stops. Nothing makes me smile like getting to a stop sign 10 seconds before someone else, and instead of stopping they just punch it and look at me like I'm an asshole for trying to go on my turn. I'm such a jerk!
I also enjoy people who get pissed at the police when they get busted shop lifting. Or someone attempting burglary or murder who turns around and sues the person they were victimizing.
I don't think any of these people realize that they're fagging up civilization. We have all these rules because agreements need to be made. You can't have everyone going at the same time at an intersection. You can't just steal shit. Just as that first person who stopped at and then ran that red light inspired 2 two or three other people to do the same thing, one person who violates some basic rule is opening up the flood gate for everyone else. If at least two people picked up on a violation that one other person did, what'd be the point of stop lights anymore after a few years? Sure a portion of people will still stop at the light, or keep themselves from stealing. I think once a majority of people are of the opinion that stop lights are optional or that breaking and entering is wrong it'd only be a matter of time were it becomes one of those things people would try to fight legally.
I could almost see the legalization (or at least reduced penalties) for drunk driving after that. Because after all, everybody else runs stop lights right? How were we supposed to know that red means stop and green means go? The car maker, the beer brewer, the bar, and the road maintaince crews should have personally come to this guy's house and explained all the dynamics of alcohol and it effects on driving. Might as well sue the person you hit while drunk too, they should have known that he was bombed out of his mind and that they sould have gotten out of his way when he started swerving all over the road.
I think it goes without saying that I'm also a big fan of the slippery-slope defense. Especially when people try to use it to condem homosexuality. "If we let gays marry, then whats next? People would be marrying their siblings and having sex with dogs! Then what? There'd be cannibals and the institution of marriage would be doomed!"
Because all that sounds logical, right? Let consenting adults marry regardless of sexual orientation, and we'll just warm up to dog fucking? "Oh, well, now that gays can marry incest seems fine with me!". There are boundaries where we can say "Mmmm... you know what? Gays marrying is fine, but I think we can still all agree that horse fucking is probably not a concept we want to get behind." Granted, in another 10 years we could have furry senators pushing for this kind of thing. But thats what the CIA and "accidental deaths" are for, right?
I honestly believe some people wake up and accept this as fact. Occasionally on my way to and from work I'll see people come to a complete stop at a red light, sit for a second, and then take off right through the intersection. The next three people behind them are probably all mouthing the words "Alright, fuck it, lets go." as they too speed through the red light they just stopped for 20 seconds ago. This is no case of right on red, this is more like "I'm going to risk getting plowed into by 30 cars because I can't sit at a red light for 60 seconds". This is a variation on my favorite "Stop-N-Go" at four-way stops. Nothing makes me smile like getting to a stop sign 10 seconds before someone else, and instead of stopping they just punch it and look at me like I'm an asshole for trying to go on my turn. I'm such a jerk!
I also enjoy people who get pissed at the police when they get busted shop lifting. Or someone attempting burglary or murder who turns around and sues the person they were victimizing.
I don't think any of these people realize that they're fagging up civilization. We have all these rules because agreements need to be made. You can't have everyone going at the same time at an intersection. You can't just steal shit. Just as that first person who stopped at and then ran that red light inspired 2 two or three other people to do the same thing, one person who violates some basic rule is opening up the flood gate for everyone else. If at least two people picked up on a violation that one other person did, what'd be the point of stop lights anymore after a few years? Sure a portion of people will still stop at the light, or keep themselves from stealing. I think once a majority of people are of the opinion that stop lights are optional or that breaking and entering is wrong it'd only be a matter of time were it becomes one of those things people would try to fight legally.
I could almost see the legalization (or at least reduced penalties) for drunk driving after that. Because after all, everybody else runs stop lights right? How were we supposed to know that red means stop and green means go? The car maker, the beer brewer, the bar, and the road maintaince crews should have personally come to this guy's house and explained all the dynamics of alcohol and it effects on driving. Might as well sue the person you hit while drunk too, they should have known that he was bombed out of his mind and that they sould have gotten out of his way when he started swerving all over the road.
I think it goes without saying that I'm also a big fan of the slippery-slope defense. Especially when people try to use it to condem homosexuality. "If we let gays marry, then whats next? People would be marrying their siblings and having sex with dogs! Then what? There'd be cannibals and the institution of marriage would be doomed!"
Because all that sounds logical, right? Let consenting adults marry regardless of sexual orientation, and we'll just warm up to dog fucking? "Oh, well, now that gays can marry incest seems fine with me!". There are boundaries where we can say "Mmmm... you know what? Gays marrying is fine, but I think we can still all agree that horse fucking is probably not a concept we want to get behind." Granted, in another 10 years we could have furry senators pushing for this kind of thing. But thats what the CIA and "accidental deaths" are for, right?