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freaking everything sucks at this moment...i had a good but bad day. i found out that i'm not going to Kingdom Seekers (for those who don't know what it is, it's this big like youth rally but not really). i'm going to state how i feel about this at this moment...i'm sorry if i'm bitter. we had to vote on 3 seinors, 3 juinors, 2 sohopmores, and 2
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I can't stand the way I sugarcoated my comment yesterday and it has been eating me alive. I know you are dissapointed, as I would have been as well, but who is on God's throne right now? What is the difference between what you saying and what a non-believer would say? As a Christian brother I want to be honest, gracious, understanding and loving, but at the same time, bold, and passionate about how I feel, using words which may not be preferable. God is so much more than events sponsored by church youth groups. NEVER has a camp, mission trip, youth conference, youth rally, etc., been the purpose for spiritual growth. God grows each person, events are created to help each person realize that.
Something which you might not see is that it is not just "cool," to be someone who is voted for. You are amazed, humbled, and awed almost to tears that there are people who see even a little bit of Christ in how you lead. Does this mean that people who aren't selected don't lead. NO! There are so many reasons why you might not be going. As Ecclesiates 3:11 says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beggining to end." Praise God that you can serve him the weekend of Kingdom Seekers in a different way.
Though voting makes me uncomfortable, I really feel like it is the best way to determine who goes to Kingdom Seekers. In Acts 1:26, Matthias was added as an apostle of the Lord simply by the disciples casting lots on him. What's really best for us is usually uncomfortable.
I accidentley used the word "right" on my last comment, and it is eating me alive, because the word I should have said was "obligated." The only "right" we have as followers of Christ is the right to acknowledge we have no rights. God is our maker, and perfector; all we are to do is follow him. Christ gave up every right he had to save us, and as Christians we are to carry up our own cross. If you start storing bitterness in your heart you are obligated as a follower of Christ to rid yourself of it.
Jason has helped me immensley with the bitterness that I have felt towards people. I really think he could explain things much better to you than anybody else. Give him the chance to minister to you, oftentimes we save those times for when we feel comfortable with sharing our situations.
I think it would profit you incredibly if you just stopped and thought about the way you are thinking. It is not right for you to tear up the opportunities others have which you wish you could be apart of. This is the pettiness the world looks at and is turned off by when they examine Christians. Please, don't rely on your emotions, because sometimes they are not even inspired by you, but by Satan. I love you Renee, I want to be all things to all men, including you. Let go of your frusteration and lay it at the feet of the cross.
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