If you get to the end we will know.....
I sat talking to Berna a Turkish PhD student in the animal science department and explained life as "a book your reading, your engrossed and it is painfully exciting and all you want to do is get to the end, and then the ending is missing." At first it was a casual comment, as I thought about it more.... it is not just how my life is, but life in
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Why are you saying you have sabotaged yourself by attending cobe, your struggles with science? You are 21! You are having adventures, making connections. You would have sabotaged yourself if you had refused to go to Costa Rica or go to Turkey. You would have sabotaged yourself if all you did in college was drink your way through, never get involved in anything, never give a damn about your community. Your idea of being big and powerful reminds me of Sarah who is unhappy that she might never be a famous writer. I guess I don't get that wish to be uber-important when what I think matters is doing something meaningful within my own small context. I think of our parents who are not uber-important in the world, but are doing something meaningful within their spheres: Dad's running his own business, sticking to it after years of struggles, expanding his influence throughout New York state to like-minded people; Mom survived, beat and is thriving as a recovering alcoholic, spending her life's work helping other people get out of that trap, raising 2 smart and sober kids. Are these things insignificant because they are in western New York and not in the halls of power? No, they're not. They're beautiful.
Yes, I was dismayed about you being competive with me. I was dismayed because I'm proud of YOUR accomplishments and happy for you for getting them, sometimes envious when you are doing things I can't do, but never competitive.
(r.e. Costa Rica & changing yourself) Then learn the lesson to not change who you are just to have some company! Made the same mistake in England, but you gotta live and learn.
I am lost..... I know I still want to be "influential" to make a difference, to be compassionate, and to make change.... but, today, I don't know what the next steps are.
Hello! I want to make a difference, to be compassionate and to make change. I don't know what the next steps are as I'm discontented in my job. Just spent the weekend hearing about people's worries like that at Sarah's party. You're not alone.
I haven't read the confessions book, but heard an interview with the author. I know the feeling of being dwarfed and shrunken ... it was what it was like for me majoring in Critical Social Thought! You probably can't change the "system," but you can make your small sphere of influence matter. Be caring! Be ethical! Give a damn!!!
There are several organizations that aren't the IMF, etc., that do good work that you should look at & consider trying to work for. Public Citizen, International Crisis Group, Heifer International are a couple that leap to my mind at first brush. There are dream jobs out there for you that aren't part of the neoliberal, free trade economic system.
The Peace Corps has its problems, but it's a rare chance to be able to live abroad in the very countries you want to spend time in & have your expenses paid for. There are master's programs -- the kind of thing you probably want to go to grad school in -- that include time spent in the peace corps. I think you should consider this!! You will get more out of it than you will give to the community you are living in, but it will tell you a lot if you want to be doing international work. I think Dad is wrong to say you have so much more to give than to one community. Well, each place you live is just one community, so why not spend two years in one community in another country?
I guess you feel competitive with me because I'm your big sister, but there's an advantage you have as a younger sibling ... I've had to deal with some of the worries, fears, you have, and I think I've made some progress in learning how to live with them and do something that I find satisfying my life. I hope you won't just try to "beat" me, but let my piddly four years of longer living be somewhat helpful to you.
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