Nobody gives a shit about me...
...I just remember thinking that when I left Japanese class tonight. I
recalled thinking it because new students were chatting up an older student
who was leaving at the same time as I was. I figured I wasn't worth
bothering to get to know.
I know I'm difficult to draw out. And REALLY difficult to get to know...and
that doesn't help.
But less than an hour and a half later: Burrito Supreme, taco + 4 donuts.
I'd list them all, but the depression and raw Catholic shame is getting to
me.
You'd think after I had the whole 'phone wellness coach meeting' yesterday,
I'd be a little more in control.
Well, today, apparently, I shit on myself and then ate more than a day's
worth of calories in under 2 hours to prove it.
Well, I recognize I have a problem, but the bingeing is more out of control
these last several months. CBT may be an answer. I'll have to start an
alarm. That seems to be working for my other bad habits.
But! I went to Japanese class. I didn't linger. I made it home, although
with a mouthful of food and completed the lecture. AND I contacted
affiliate support like I was supposed to. AND I stamped my Kaiser billing
requests. So, all is not lost.
I accomplished something. I'm calling it a night.
recalled thinking it because new students were chatting up an older student
who was leaving at the same time as I was. I figured I wasn't worth
bothering to get to know.
I know I'm difficult to draw out. And REALLY difficult to get to know...and
that doesn't help.
But less than an hour and a half later: Burrito Supreme, taco + 4 donuts.
I'd list them all, but the depression and raw Catholic shame is getting to
me.
You'd think after I had the whole 'phone wellness coach meeting' yesterday,
I'd be a little more in control.
Well, today, apparently, I shit on myself and then ate more than a day's
worth of calories in under 2 hours to prove it.
Well, I recognize I have a problem, but the bingeing is more out of control
these last several months. CBT may be an answer. I'll have to start an
alarm. That seems to be working for my other bad habits.
But! I went to Japanese class. I didn't linger. I made it home, although
with a mouthful of food and completed the lecture. AND I contacted
affiliate support like I was supposed to. AND I stamped my Kaiser billing
requests. So, all is not lost.
I accomplished something. I'm calling it a night.