and so it goes.
I don't know if it is the change of season, or the changes in my life, but I feel like everything is going nowhere fast; and I think I'm scared or nervous, or anxious, or uncomfortable, concerning everything. It almost feels as if my life is spinning out of control while digging deeper into a hole where everything is dark and unrecognizable, and instead of being excited for what's to come, I have this odd feeling that I'm not going to do anything all summer, with anyone. I really don't want to feel this way. I really want to do something stupid and irresponsible. It's almost as if, as much as I hated her at times, and I felt like I was going insane, she seemed to be the one thing in my life that wasn't predictable. She was my key to excitement. Perhaps that is why she seems so appealing to everyone.