So much
I am not going to lie. I was feeling the need to vent. I went to open diary. Only to find the site was shut down a little over a month ago. I remember open diary as my high school escape. Live journal was more like college. Anyway. I know facebook/twitter/etc. has killed sites likes these but here is the thing. The is some level of animosity with an online journal. There is NO ANIMOSITY with FACEBOOK. THE WHOLE WORLD can see your FACE! You are friends with all your coworkers... how can you bitch about work? how can you say your boss is a horrible manager when you are friends with people that are friends with him. (Yes, I moved to a one-horse-town.)
I need to vent. I need to be able to tell someone who doesn't know my FACE... who will not judge my thoughts... EVERYTHING crappy and delightful about my day.
Looking at my icon picture I think. OMG that was like 10 years ago. I am pretty sure I was in Wells hall. Gosh I wish I could look like that again. Not that I look old now. But I know in 10 more years I will and I would love to have a 10 year head start on that.
I worked my butt off in college. I went to grad school while working full-time at an amazing company that appreciated me. I took an offer to leave (naively thinking I was saving the world/my community/whatever). I took a job in the middle of nowhere. I have had 6 managers in 4 1/2 years. I have loved one. One I am not sure I interacted with enough to know... but we will call him good. and 4 REALLY shitty examples of "managers". I would regret my move.... except it help me realize and appreciate how much I left behind... and that I met the man of my dreams. We are getting married in a few months. We started dating 6 months after I moved here. He had to wait 4 years until I would say "yes"... but he knew I was worth the wait. And I know he is worth leaving everything good and working for a company that treats me like garbage some days.
It's just hard. I went to school thinking I could do anything I wanted. I thought it didn't' matter that I would go to work with 75% men. I thought I could make up for it by working hard... and eventually being accepted. I did not realize at THIS company I would be faced with men who were less qualified than I do their jobs and would judge me harshly because of it.
Both my shittest managers were new. Both were young men. Both had only bachelors degrees. Both want nothing more to climb the corporate latter. I do not think ill of them as people. But I have a really hard time not wishing them ill since they have become my manager. The most recent.... is horrible to everyone he manages.
Event the technicians hate him. Let me tell you. I am no dummy. My new role? first thing I do. Make friends with the techs. Hell. They are the difference between getting shit done and letting you dig your down grave. My manager things they are lazy and unmotivated (he thinks I am an underachiever at 60hr wks). I KNOW it's because he is a moron and UNMOTIVATES people. Our team's tech's are amazing and very knowledgeable. I treat them with respect and they do that same to me. I try to go talk with them SERIOUSLY at least once every 2 wks or so. I want to make sure they are doing ok, know that I CARE and make sure we have a solid RESPECT built relationship.
Our mutual manager is an idiot. He has no idea what they (or I) am doing and thus thinks we are doing nothing.
shit manager: I don't think 'tech A' will measure that for you again... you better be really careful asking him'.
Me: Um no. I am good. 'tech A' will help me out. I will go down with him and we will work together. We have a good relationship and he has my back. He knows I wouldn't ask him to waste his time EVER (like you- i think)
my manager: silence 'ok''''
Later(several weeks) he mentions somet5hing "oh maybe ijt's better you ask them "the techs".
me: yeah... I think so...
The techs are looking for new positions for another manager.
they are really good men. Solid Christian men. I want to take them with me. I do not know where I am going yet.
Maybe it will work out.
At one point in my life I was afraid I would never be qualified to do what my (only really good) manager did. And then I realized there is NO WAY IN THIS WORLD I could be as BAD as my last two managers.
I can do WHATEVER it is that they are doing.... BETTER THAN THEM.
I do not need to doubt myself.
*sorry*
RANT.
Just consider this 10 years worth of ranting.... :0)
~LBD~
I need to vent. I need to be able to tell someone who doesn't know my FACE... who will not judge my thoughts... EVERYTHING crappy and delightful about my day.
Looking at my icon picture I think. OMG that was like 10 years ago. I am pretty sure I was in Wells hall. Gosh I wish I could look like that again. Not that I look old now. But I know in 10 more years I will and I would love to have a 10 year head start on that.
I worked my butt off in college. I went to grad school while working full-time at an amazing company that appreciated me. I took an offer to leave (naively thinking I was saving the world/my community/whatever). I took a job in the middle of nowhere. I have had 6 managers in 4 1/2 years. I have loved one. One I am not sure I interacted with enough to know... but we will call him good. and 4 REALLY shitty examples of "managers". I would regret my move.... except it help me realize and appreciate how much I left behind... and that I met the man of my dreams. We are getting married in a few months. We started dating 6 months after I moved here. He had to wait 4 years until I would say "yes"... but he knew I was worth the wait. And I know he is worth leaving everything good and working for a company that treats me like garbage some days.
It's just hard. I went to school thinking I could do anything I wanted. I thought it didn't' matter that I would go to work with 75% men. I thought I could make up for it by working hard... and eventually being accepted. I did not realize at THIS company I would be faced with men who were less qualified than I do their jobs and would judge me harshly because of it.
Both my shittest managers were new. Both were young men. Both had only bachelors degrees. Both want nothing more to climb the corporate latter. I do not think ill of them as people. But I have a really hard time not wishing them ill since they have become my manager. The most recent.... is horrible to everyone he manages.
Event the technicians hate him. Let me tell you. I am no dummy. My new role? first thing I do. Make friends with the techs. Hell. They are the difference between getting shit done and letting you dig your down grave. My manager things they are lazy and unmotivated (he thinks I am an underachiever at 60hr wks). I KNOW it's because he is a moron and UNMOTIVATES people. Our team's tech's are amazing and very knowledgeable. I treat them with respect and they do that same to me. I try to go talk with them SERIOUSLY at least once every 2 wks or so. I want to make sure they are doing ok, know that I CARE and make sure we have a solid RESPECT built relationship.
Our mutual manager is an idiot. He has no idea what they (or I) am doing and thus thinks we are doing nothing.
shit manager: I don't think 'tech A' will measure that for you again... you better be really careful asking him'.
Me: Um no. I am good. 'tech A' will help me out. I will go down with him and we will work together. We have a good relationship and he has my back. He knows I wouldn't ask him to waste his time EVER (like you- i think)
my manager: silence 'ok''''
Later(several weeks) he mentions somet5hing "oh maybe ijt's better you ask them "the techs".
me: yeah... I think so...
The techs are looking for new positions for another manager.
they are really good men. Solid Christian men. I want to take them with me. I do not know where I am going yet.
Maybe it will work out.
At one point in my life I was afraid I would never be qualified to do what my (only really good) manager did. And then I realized there is NO WAY IN THIS WORLD I could be as BAD as my last two managers.
I can do WHATEVER it is that they are doing.... BETTER THAN THEM.
I do not need to doubt myself.
*sorry*
RANT.
Just consider this 10 years worth of ranting.... :0)
~LBD~