Endings and Beginnings

Dec 17, 2008 20:25

Where something ends, something else begins.

I don't know if it feels like Christmas or not. I'll go with a no but is it really because Grandma isn't here or is it because we didn't bother with all the decorations that she loved so much or put up huge tree that'd we'd spend hours looking at over the holiday.

Maybe we don't want it to hurt so we are doing things differently. Maybe all that stuff didn't matter anyway. I feel like she's here and yet I don't. I feel like the funeral was all a dream and I don't. I'm sad and I'm at peace all at the same time. I don't cry as much anymore. But I still find myself tearing up sometimes when I'm alone driving somewhere or when I'm reminded of her in some way. I think of my grandma every day. I remember how wonderful she was and how everyone who knew her loved her. She was our angel.

And now she's with my brother, her husband, her mother and her sister. She's been missing them so long. It's only fair she should get to reunite with them.
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