Too Depressed To Think
I just wanna curl up and die.
I never ever thought this would happen to me again. Why, God? Why me? This isn't fair. Nothing seems fair anymore. I know people keep saying it's God's way of slowing things down for me... but just when things were starting to get really good? This is so bad. I really hate this. I really want to just curl up and die. Sorry if I keep repeating it, but I haven't been this depressed in ages. Since that stupid, fucking break up which means nothing to me now.
Demoted? Because of an injury? Life is so unfair... but I actually don't mind as long I get to catch up with my teammates. Everyone is gonna get so good, and I'll be sitting idly by, working on strengthening my leg again. Is this a sign that I should stop dancing? Cos it's a really stupid sign and it should just go to hell!!!! Why take away the one thing I love the most in this world? Challenges are difficult, but must they be depressing at the same time?
Even if people say it's okay, I know that they know deep down that it's not. It's not easy to watch your friends improving when you can't do anything about your situation since there are rules. It's not easy to see people enjoying the thing you love doing the most while you just sit there, getting fat and not moving a muscle. Dancing is the world to me. Dancing is the only thing that I know is actually getting me by. Why am I so depressed when I know that in four to six weeks I'll be okay? Maybe it's because I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being patient and calm. Because I am so not patient and calm.
Ughh... Lord, i know we made a bargain. Why can't I seem to accept it?
Things are gonna get so much harder...
PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGTH.
I never ever thought this would happen to me again. Why, God? Why me? This isn't fair. Nothing seems fair anymore. I know people keep saying it's God's way of slowing things down for me... but just when things were starting to get really good? This is so bad. I really hate this. I really want to just curl up and die. Sorry if I keep repeating it, but I haven't been this depressed in ages. Since that stupid, fucking break up which means nothing to me now.
Demoted? Because of an injury? Life is so unfair... but I actually don't mind as long I get to catch up with my teammates. Everyone is gonna get so good, and I'll be sitting idly by, working on strengthening my leg again. Is this a sign that I should stop dancing? Cos it's a really stupid sign and it should just go to hell!!!! Why take away the one thing I love the most in this world? Challenges are difficult, but must they be depressing at the same time?
Even if people say it's okay, I know that they know deep down that it's not. It's not easy to watch your friends improving when you can't do anything about your situation since there are rules. It's not easy to see people enjoying the thing you love doing the most while you just sit there, getting fat and not moving a muscle. Dancing is the world to me. Dancing is the only thing that I know is actually getting me by. Why am I so depressed when I know that in four to six weeks I'll be okay? Maybe it's because I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being patient and calm. Because I am so not patient and calm.
Ughh... Lord, i know we made a bargain. Why can't I seem to accept it?
Things are gonna get so much harder...
PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGTH.