Fuck my Life
I fucked up and I fucked up big time. I asked Sarah to move out and then I broke up with her. Everyone knows that I've been thinking about it for the last few weeks but I never intended on doing it. She just pushed me too far today. Everything I have been feeling, all the anger, all the hurt, all the insecurity just came crashing down on me.
Now, I'm sitting here alone. This is how it will be night after night from now on. I always sabatoge myself when it comes to love and relationships. I've been throwing up all night. I've been crying since Math class this morning. I didn't think I had anymore tears left in me.
All she cares about is her stuff and Maihe. I think she's loved Maihe more than she's loved me these last few months. I wish she loved me and wanted to be with me a quarter of the amount that she loves and wants Maihe... I hate myself so much right now. I keep cutting but it's not making the pain go away... I feel like I'm dying. I guess I really did love her a lot more than I thought I did. I guess I really did let her get closer than I thought I did... I didn't think I could ever hurt this much again.
Goodbye Sarah. I love you.
Now, I'm sitting here alone. This is how it will be night after night from now on. I always sabatoge myself when it comes to love and relationships. I've been throwing up all night. I've been crying since Math class this morning. I didn't think I had anymore tears left in me.
All she cares about is her stuff and Maihe. I think she's loved Maihe more than she's loved me these last few months. I wish she loved me and wanted to be with me a quarter of the amount that she loves and wants Maihe... I hate myself so much right now. I keep cutting but it's not making the pain go away... I feel like I'm dying. I guess I really did love her a lot more than I thought I did. I guess I really did let her get closer than I thought I did... I didn't think I could ever hurt this much again.
Goodbye Sarah. I love you.