Still Standing
So, I'm here early again because Sarah is working this morning. She should be home by the time I get home from school today. I'm still kind of achey but am starting to feel better. I wasn't able to sleep last night. I tossed and turned for a couple of hours and probably fell asleep around 430 or 5 oclock. I lost track of time after 4.
I went and signed up for advising. I'm crossing my fingers that my curriculum hasn't been changed. If it has then I'm stuck taking another speech and sociology class. If it hasn't changed then I'm going to go ahead and take 4 honors classes, my regular math class and my bio lab that I have been putting off for years now. 16 hours will probably be the death of me, but I'm ready to graduate, and if I can do it with honors hot diggity dog. I'll easily be able to transfer into Southern's Honors college and will have all kinds of special stuff happen at graduation. Special enough that I will even walk with my class. I don't know if college honors is the same as high school honors and you get the extra quality point. So far if my curriculum hasn't changed my schedule looks like...
History 101-H
Music 101-H
Psychology 201- H
Colloquial- H
Bio 101- Lab
and
Math 131 or 100 haven't decided yet... I guess it depends on how well I do with this semester in Math.
If my curriculum has changed then it looks like I'm stuck with
Race Relations
Intrapersonal Communications
Bio Lab 1
Math 131 or 100
and
History 101- H
Regardless I have to take my lab and math class. The other classes are pretty much my pick and choose. If my curriculum hasn't changed then the only thing I have left to graduate is Math. The reason I need to take the lab class is because my Biology 101 and 102 will not transfer without at least one lab. I know it kinda sucks. I don't remember shit from Biology.
I'm nervous about graduating. It's going to be a whole new chapter of my life. I'm scared to go to a major university. I'm scared to go to Southern. I would rather go to Southeastern but I don't have adequate transportation everyday, besides that would be a helluva commute to take everyday. I guess I could look into online classes, but honestly I don't think that I have that sort of discipline in myself. Plus, if I go to Southeastern then I wouldn't be able to continue to work as a tutor at BRCC. Next semester is going to be a royal pain in my ass. I will probably be even more anti social than I am already, but come May it will all be worth it. If I walk I hope to have a lot of people at my graduation. I know that my parents will be there. I'm not inviting my brother. Sarah will be there and so will Bobby, Matt, and his family.Of course Amy and Spike will be there as wel. I wish Jensen and Lee weren't such douchebags because I really want them to be there with me as well. I didn't graduate from high school but I did walk with my GED class. It's not the same. I was always envious of people who had a large crowd cheering and hollaring for them at graduation. I worked really hard and hope that I have people with me to celebrate!
I want to be successful in life. I don't want to be stuck in dead-end jobs for the rest of my life. After I got expelled from Bible College I was devastated. My plan was destroyed. I was going to be a missionary. I was going to work in children's ministry in Russia. I had it all planned out. I had backing from other churches and ministries. I didn't want to graduate in '99 so I dropped out in '98. I screwed around too much in high school and ended up failing English 3 two years in a row. Not because I didn't understand the material after all English is one of my best subjects. I just never went to class. I hated going to high school. The whole politics of peer pressure and being different. Even though I was a Bethanite and on fire for Jesus, I felt so completely lost.
Gifted schools around here are almost cult like. Most of the students started taking gifted courses in kindergarten. Most of their parents were able to afford gifted testing. After all the problems I had at Baker and not being able to maintain the GPA to stay at Scotlandville, my last resort was McKinley. Mom spent over 1k getting me into the program. We didn't have time to go through pupil appraisal which is the free method. They are usually backed up for several semesters when it comes time to test for gifted. I don't know if this is how the system works now, but that's how it worked 15 years ago. So I got into the gifted program and either these kids were so smart that I couldn't hold conversation with them, or they were rich and coasting on by with mommy and daddy's money. I wasn't very smart and my mom was pretty broke after dad died. She even had to borrow a large sum of money from my father's uncle to pay for the funeral and other expenses that came along with raising 2 children.
Dropping out wasn't the brightest thing for me to do. I wish I could go back and change it. I probably wouldn't have gone to Gulf States and I would have probably started off here at BRCC 12 years ago. But, we live and learn right? If I ever have children and they want to drop out, I will support their decision as long as they have a plan of action to fall back on. I won't let them make the same mistakes that I did. When Jessica and I had the girls I was so pissed when they dropped out. I understood why. It was after Hurricane Katrina and Lee High went insane with all the new kids. My girls were the very very minority in race and on top of that they were gay. It's sad but this was in 1995 and they still don't have their GEDs 5 years later. I was at least responsible in that aspect. The day I dropped out I went to the adult learning center. I didn't have to attend GED classes because I tested out of their program. I just had to sit and wait until I could take the GED test which was luckily scheduled for that quarter just a few days later. I passed the GED with flying colors. I had my GED before my peers at McKinley had their high school diplomas.
Now I'm here. I'm 30 years old and finally taking the next steps of my life. I want to be able to support myself and hopefully when the time comes be able to support my parents when they need me. I love my mom and step-dad. I think it boils my brother's blood that I call Eric dad. It makes sense that I should. My parents will be married 11 years this November. My father was only alive 14 years of my life. Pretty soon Eric will be around longer than my father was. So, pretty soon he will actually really be dad.
Welp, on that note... Time to go to class :)