I have not had nearly enough coffee for this...
On the walk to the bus this morning the boys were chattering about Trixie, mom's new puppy when it suddenly, finally, occurred to Twisty G that she used to have another dog.
T: Where do dogs go when they die?
M: *OH SHIT* Nobody knows for sure. Some people believe they go to heaven. Some people believe they get to be born again. Some people believe they become part of the stars in the sky.
T: Is Grampa gonna die?
M: Someday.
T: Is Daddy going to die?? I don't want daddy to die!!!
M: Dude, breathe. You know how big Daddy is?
T: Yeah
M: Well you have to get all the way as big as him and his daddy is still alive and so you have to all the way as big and old as grampa and he's still alive so it's not something you need to worry about right now. You need to learn to focus on right now, not worry about the future.
Crispin: What's the future?
M: All the years and years and years and years ahead of you that haven't happened yet.
T: So where do people come from then?
*SERIOUSLY UNIVERSE?? BEFORE I'VE HAD ANY COFFEE??*
M: Well I grew you in my belly. Remember? I showed you pictures of how big my belly was.
T: Yes, but HOW?? Did you buy my head at a store and eat it?
...
...
*dying from the HAHA*
M: No, ummm, women's bodies make eggs and men's bodies make the seed and when the 2 come together a baby grows in the mommy's tummy.
Crispin: Your body makes eggs??!!
M: Well they're not like chicken eggs silly. It's a different kind of egg inside my body that you never see.
Crispin: Yes but HOW does your body make eggs?
M: Not sure exactly. The same way your body makes blood and skin and fingernails and hair.
T: Ohhhhh look! A Smart Bread truck!! Mom! Can we get some Smart Bread on the way home?...
Gawd. I feel like I ran a marathon. Before 8am.
Serious thanks and props to all my lj mommies who've been sharing their stories all these years. Thanks to you I wasn't nearly as surprised or flustered or unprepared for this talk as I would have been otherwise. I seriously *heart* eljay. You bitches try to leave me and I'm coming after you dammit...
T: Where do dogs go when they die?
M: *OH SHIT* Nobody knows for sure. Some people believe they go to heaven. Some people believe they get to be born again. Some people believe they become part of the stars in the sky.
T: Is Grampa gonna die?
M: Someday.
T: Is Daddy going to die?? I don't want daddy to die!!!
M: Dude, breathe. You know how big Daddy is?
T: Yeah
M: Well you have to get all the way as big as him and his daddy is still alive and so you have to all the way as big and old as grampa and he's still alive so it's not something you need to worry about right now. You need to learn to focus on right now, not worry about the future.
Crispin: What's the future?
M: All the years and years and years and years ahead of you that haven't happened yet.
T: So where do people come from then?
*SERIOUSLY UNIVERSE?? BEFORE I'VE HAD ANY COFFEE??*
M: Well I grew you in my belly. Remember? I showed you pictures of how big my belly was.
T: Yes, but HOW?? Did you buy my head at a store and eat it?
...
...
*dying from the HAHA*
M: No, ummm, women's bodies make eggs and men's bodies make the seed and when the 2 come together a baby grows in the mommy's tummy.
Crispin: Your body makes eggs??!!
M: Well they're not like chicken eggs silly. It's a different kind of egg inside my body that you never see.
Crispin: Yes but HOW does your body make eggs?
M: Not sure exactly. The same way your body makes blood and skin and fingernails and hair.
T: Ohhhhh look! A Smart Bread truck!! Mom! Can we get some Smart Bread on the way home?...
Gawd. I feel like I ran a marathon. Before 8am.
Serious thanks and props to all my lj mommies who've been sharing their stories all these years. Thanks to you I wasn't nearly as surprised or flustered or unprepared for this talk as I would have been otherwise. I seriously *heart* eljay. You bitches try to leave me and I'm coming after you dammit...