Fic: Mrs Saxon's Diary. Part 8/10
It is COLD and snowing and I don't want to go out. *whimpers* Why don't we live right next to the school? (I actually did that for a couple of years when I was 9-10 years old. I was nearly always late
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Thank you! (I'm very proud of it.)
It was very striking that Lucy was obsessing so much about what she'd said, how it opened and closed the fic. Because it'd been so sudden, so unexpected, and she could somehow sense where it was coming from, both in the moment and deep down, but the exact origin was missing. And it left her confused, off-balance. The little wife who wanted to take care of everything for her Master, be the only he relied in… What did she do?
Of course, it doesn't matter. It would have happened sooner or later - and she knows it. But by trying to pin it down on something specific she can pretend that maybe if she'd not said what-ever-it-was, it wouldn't have happened.
I loved the fact that the sudden development surprised the two of them equally, and the fact that he'd never gotten upset at her before. And I loved how she understood him so much. Could read the feeling in his eyes, could focus on him only, not wonder "how could he do this to me?" or even only "what did I do?", but have enough understanding of his character that she wouldn't believe herself to be the exception-that she'd focus on him and analyse his reactions, instead of making it all about her since she'd received the blow. It was perfect insight that the more important people were, the more he wanted to hurt them. Oh, the Doctor.
Indeed. And - in her own twisted way - it makes her feel special? He loves her enough to hurt her...
And she knew it would happen again… that he wouldn't stop it himself… and she accepted it. Like a part of him that she just took in her stride. ♥
SO TWISTED.
And the way she saw the Doctor's reaction, and despised it-rejected any kind of pity… It was amazing.
I don't think she'd understand compassion - all she can see is pity, and that she would never want.
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You might!
Of course, it doesn't matter. It would have happened sooner or later - and she knows it. But by trying to pin it down on something specific she can pretend that maybe if she'd not said what-ever-it-was, it wouldn't have happened.
She may accept it as part of what he is, but she still needs some measure of coping process…
Indeed. And - in her own twisted way - it makes her feel special? He loves her enough to hurt her...
*insert incoherent little sound*
I don't think she'd understand compassion - all she can see is pity, and that she would never want.
Yes… There is no point to compassion…
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Exactly!
*insert incoherent little sound*
So twisted... (We keep coming back to that word.)
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"What's that word you use? I like that word…"
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