Fic: Mrs Saxon's Diary. Part 8/10
It is COLD and snowing and I don't want to go out. *whimpers* Why don't we live right next to the school? (I actually did that for a couple of years when I was 9-10 years old. I was nearly always late...)
Anyway, I'm posting fic to take my mind off it. I am very pleased with this chapter, since I try to explain something that was never explained and I think it works this way. *crosses fingers* Let me know, please?
Setting: Post-'Sound of Drums'.
Spoilers: End of S3.
Pairing: Lucy/Harry.
Rating: PG-13.
Previous parts here.
Five months after the fall of the Earth.
I can't remember what I said. I know it probably doesn't matter, but still I wish I could recall it. I guess my mind has just blanked it out.
Today was just another day - bright and beautiful the way the days always are up here in the clouds - and I was talking with my Master as he was busy with some paperwork or other, calibrating something using those odd symbols that I know are really numbers.
But then I said something - a silly, stupid joke of some sort (at his expense) that made me laugh - and the next thing I knew I was on the floor, the side of my face burning with pain as he stood above me, hand still raised. Our eyes met, and I could see that even he was taken aback. In all the time I have known him he has never so much as raised his voice to me, and this sudden lashing out was clearly unexpected for him also - despite the fact that his temper is notoriously unpredictable.
The thing is... I saw something else too. Saw that look in his eyes that I know far too well: That look of undiluted pleasure he gets from inflicting pain. And the more people matter to him, the more he enjoys their pain - that I discovered the very first day he took over the world. So I know that it will happen again, sooner or later. He isn't capable of stopping himself - and even if he was, he doesn't want to stop.
He didn't say anything afterwards, just slowly lowered his hand and then abruptly walked away. And I guess I will learn to live with this too, along with everything else.
I could feel the Doctor watching me as I too left the room a little later. He never talks to me, but I know that he’d be a shoulder to cry on, if I wanted it - I can see it in his eyes, as clear as day. How little he understands me. I would never want his concern or pity, no matter what.
I just... I just wish I could remember what I said.
Part 9.
Anyway, I'm posting fic to take my mind off it. I am very pleased with this chapter, since I try to explain something that was never explained and I think it works this way. *crosses fingers* Let me know, please?
Setting: Post-'Sound of Drums'.
Spoilers: End of S3.
Pairing: Lucy/Harry.
Rating: PG-13.
Previous parts here.
Five months after the fall of the Earth.
I can't remember what I said. I know it probably doesn't matter, but still I wish I could recall it. I guess my mind has just blanked it out.
Today was just another day - bright and beautiful the way the days always are up here in the clouds - and I was talking with my Master as he was busy with some paperwork or other, calibrating something using those odd symbols that I know are really numbers.
But then I said something - a silly, stupid joke of some sort (at his expense) that made me laugh - and the next thing I knew I was on the floor, the side of my face burning with pain as he stood above me, hand still raised. Our eyes met, and I could see that even he was taken aback. In all the time I have known him he has never so much as raised his voice to me, and this sudden lashing out was clearly unexpected for him also - despite the fact that his temper is notoriously unpredictable.
The thing is... I saw something else too. Saw that look in his eyes that I know far too well: That look of undiluted pleasure he gets from inflicting pain. And the more people matter to him, the more he enjoys their pain - that I discovered the very first day he took over the world. So I know that it will happen again, sooner or later. He isn't capable of stopping himself - and even if he was, he doesn't want to stop.
He didn't say anything afterwards, just slowly lowered his hand and then abruptly walked away. And I guess I will learn to live with this too, along with everything else.
I could feel the Doctor watching me as I too left the room a little later. He never talks to me, but I know that he’d be a shoulder to cry on, if I wanted it - I can see it in his eyes, as clear as day. How little he understands me. I would never want his concern or pity, no matter what.
I just... I just wish I could remember what I said.
Part 9.