The problem with 'As You Were'.

[elisi]

Thanks to AOQ's reviews, I've been spending yet more time thinking about AYW. Because One Bit Shy (whom I usually agree with at least 95%), had a completely different take: Riley was Prince Charming, giving Buffy a wonderful boost and helping her enormously. Which kinda threw me, as you can expect. So I thought and pondered, and this is what I came

Comments

[dlgood]

Riley was an attempt to run the heck away from what she was by pretending she could be wife, mommmy, and co-golden retriever owner and be something other than a Slayer.

Do you think there is something wrong with a woman trying both be wife and mother and to have a career? If Buffy values both aspects, does that mean she's defective. Because it sort of sounds like that's what you're saying.

[aycheb]

I'm a litttle puzzled by the idea that Riley represented a normal life instead of a Slaying one. Buffy's relationship with him occured in the post-high school period when complaints about her destiny had more or less ceased. She only started dating Riley after discovering his special agent gig made it possible to bring him on board with all her slaying duties and bring him on baord she did. Doubts about the effects of Slaying on her humanity began to surface after her mum died but that was some time after Riley had left. Earlier in season five she's enthusiatically seeking out ways to enhance her Slayer skills and volunteering for new more advanced training schemes with Giles. If anything I'd say Riley represented a chance to combine destiny and normality.

[dlgood]

but the problem was that she wanted family and career instead of being the Slayer, not in addition to it

I saw minimal evidence for that. Buffy wasn't dating Riley as an escape.... She dated Riley because he appeared to her to be everything she liked. Handsome, smart, nice guy, good values, responsible, understands duty...

The problem was - it turns out that she liked him but wasn't in love with him. There's nothing wrong with that. The 'escaping' came when she didn't look at the distance in that relationship, and wasn't willing to break up with him having decided it was better to be with someone she didn't love than be alone.

I don't think this says anything bad about her. She was nineteen. This is the sort of stuff college freshman/sophomores do while they're figuring out what they want to do with their lives.

Buffy was often ambivalent about being a slayer - yes -but these other things - family and career - were not things she wanted instead. They're just things she wants. After Joyce dies, she has very few genuine smiles.

[elisi]

Finally replying!

::looks up at what was meant to be a 2 or 3 sentence answer::
Hehehehe. That happens to me all the time! Especially when I'm writing essays...

the bizarrely concocted thing about Spike being the Doctor
You know, the only thing I am absolutely sure about as concerns this episode is that Spike isn't The Doctor ( post here) - which is kinda ironic...

Riley was an attempt to run the heck away from what she was by pretending she could be wife, mommmy, and co-golden retriever owner and be something other than a Slayer.
Obviously other people had problems with this, but I see where you're coming from. Summed up in this sentence I think:

"And the bad-boy thing - over it. Okay, I totally get it. I'd be really happy to be in a nice relationship with a decent, reliable.. Oh my God! Riley thinks I'm engaged."She goes for Riley because he's 'safe'. She tries to back out once she finds out he's also a demon fighter ("I can't do doomed again.") and then changes her mind because... Um... He's got nice arms? Dunno