The problem with 'As You Were'.

[elisi]

Thanks to AOQ's reviews, I've been spending yet more time thinking about AYW. Because One Bit Shy (whom I usually agree with at least 95%), had a completely different take: Riley was Prince Charming, giving Buffy a wonderful boost and helping her enormously. Which kinda threw me, as you can expect. So I thought and pondered, and this is what I came

Comments

[dlgood]

but the problem was that she wanted family and career instead of being the Slayer, not in addition to it

I saw minimal evidence for that. Buffy wasn't dating Riley as an escape.... She dated Riley because he appeared to her to be everything she liked. Handsome, smart, nice guy, good values, responsible, understands duty...

The problem was - it turns out that she liked him but wasn't in love with him. There's nothing wrong with that. The 'escaping' came when she didn't look at the distance in that relationship, and wasn't willing to break up with him having decided it was better to be with someone she didn't love than be alone.

I don't think this says anything bad about her. She was nineteen. This is the sort of stuff college freshman/sophomores do while they're figuring out what they want to do with their lives.

Buffy was often ambivalent about being a slayer - yes -but these other things - family and career - were not things she wanted instead. They're just things she wants. After Joyce dies, she has very few genuine smiles. And the most notable of those are when (1) she gets hired to be a guidance counselor and (2) when she learns that slayers can have children.