**Reminder - Ongoing write/reminders/visualisations
- I choose to not look for problems where they don't exist.
Trust that those outside will speak to me when there is, but I will not go searching for them, because by searching for them they become my own. No help required unless it is asked for, I will know when that is.
- I choose to be selfish.
I choose to live for me. In every act this is for me, not power over someone else, but power within. MY life. MY expectations. MY choices. MY life.
- I choose to accept myself as I am in this moment, to not look to change to be something different to what I am.
It could always be better, it could always be different, it could always be perfect, but those are not my expectations, those are someone else's that I've adopted and I choose to give them back. People need to accept me for me, and if they don't, that is their choice, my acceptance is the only acceptance I need, so I drop all others expectations of me, and my expectations of me, I am good enough exactly the way I am, no matter what happened in the past, no matter what happens in the future. Right here, right now, I choose to accept myself as I am, not looking to change me.
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A TIPEE/HUT
Open tipee, wrapped in rugs, roaring fire hearth in middle, travelling up to hole in ceiling with dark blue night's sky milky way above. Rugs on floor over earth (very earthly), low lighting, elder smoking on my right, women to my left with child in arms, very quiet, hearing fire, sounds of flickering, gentle chanting/songs..
THE BEACH
A shoreline.
Warmth, sun on back.
Looking at the sand, toes outstretched brushing over gently, pink shells, a starfish, perfectly placed.
Standing tall, free, gentle breeze blowing through hair, over body, bare, light touch. Sea air, fresh, hydrated.
A landing of rock to the right, somewhere to sit, to look-out. Animals will gather up from behind, gently, to comfort.
If there's any other sounds, there's a sound of children laughing, but I can't see them.
OAK TREE
High on hill over trees, bees buzzing lazily, dandelions, poppies, noone
SECRET GARDEN
Sunshine, foxgloves, flowers, bees, swing under weeping willow, William..
THUNDERSTORM, MONSOON
Viewing from shelter OR plain view Africa
FOREST CAMPFIRE
Wise men smoking, milky way above
EAGLE'S BACK
Flying soaring gently over mountains
GORILLA'S ARMS
Warm, secure, strong, safe
BLACK PANTHER
Dark, sultry, silent, power
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Shy inner child likes:
Enya, candles, being patiently encouraged to make the place look pretty, small colourful things, appreciating & cooking food with Mummy, gently persuaded that she can, she never has to, but she always can..
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So what are you afraid of?
- Losing face
- Being a failure
- Losing my mind
- Being rejected by everyone
- Being alone
- Feeling never good enough
- Never consistently being able to escape myself
- Scared at the anger
- Scared of the hate
- Scared of the pain
- Scared of being such a disappointment
- Scared of doing everything wrong
- Scared of being cast out
- Scared of never fitting in
- Scared of being a waste of human space
- Scared of being judged against all that I could have been, I all that I didn't do
But the drop creates a ripple creates a wave. A tiny spark creates an ember creates a fire.
- Losing face
- you already lost your face didn't you?
- Being a failure
- you already 'failed' didn't you?
- Losing my mind
- you already 'lost your mind' didn't you?
- Being rejected by everyone
- you were already 'rejected' weren't you?
- Being alone
- you were already 'alone' weren't you?
- Feeling never good enough
- You've felt 'never good enough' haven't you?
- Never consistently being able to escape myself
- you've consistently not been able to escape yourself, haven't you?
- Scared at the anger
- you've experienced 'anger' haven't you?
- Scared of the hate
- you've experienced 'hate' haven't you?
- Scared of the pain
- you've experiences 'pain' haven't you?
- Scared of being such a disappointment
- you've already been a disappointment, haven't you?
- Scared of doing everything wrong
- you've already 'done everything wrong' haven't you?
- Scared of being cast out
- you've already been 'cast out' haven't you?
- Scared of never fitting in
- you've already experienced 'not fitting in' haven't you?
- Scared of being a waste of human space
- you've already 'experienced being a waste' haven't you?
- Scared of being judged against all that I could have been, I all that I didn't do
- you already have been 'judged' haven't you?
- And you're still here, you still exist, was it all so bad? You've survived lifetimes.
If you experienced all that and you made it this far, a little less of the same, will be and is a breeze in the park. So why be scared?
- Because what if it's too much?
- What's the worst that can happen?
- There will be more suffering
- Even if there was, you always have a choice. Choice of happiness or choice of suffering. Why so scared of being happy?
- Don't deserve it
- And you know that's a fallacy
- Yes, but to believe it continually feels hard
- Rome wasn't built in a day, but where there's a will there's always a way. Faith within faith without. Believe.
- Above all I'm scared of the suffering I feel in my body
- But you know your body is only a human experience
- But it feels painful, it feels constricting, it feels uncomfortable
- But it feels. Feel it. Explore it. Let your curiosity lead you, but there's no need to run, & there's no need to hide. You're safe, you're always safe.
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ISIS
Pantheon: Egyptian, Roman
Titles: Giver of Life, Great Mother, Mistress of Magic, Ankhat, Anquat, The Female Ra, Lady of the New Year, Maker of Sunrise, Queen of All Gods, Divine One, Female Horus, Light-Giver of Heaven, Kekhet, Khut
Alternate Names/Spellings: Ament, Aset, Ast, Eset, Tcheft, Thenenet, Usert
Gender: Female
Isis is one of the best known deities of all time. She is the sister & wife of Osiris, and the mother of Horus. In some early writings of her, she and her brothers and sister were originally mortal, but were deified by the gods.
Isis is the goddess of Abundance, Cultivated Land, Death, Dreams, the Earth, Enchantment, Magic, Marriage, Reincarnation, Rituals, and Success.
Her sacred colours are Green, Light Blue, and Red, and her sacred plants are Dates, Figs, Heather, and Onions.
Isis' sacred animals are apes, cats, cows, eagles, geese, hawks, kites, lions, owls, rams, scorpions, snakes, shpinxes, swallows, and vultures.
Her sacred gems are amethyst, aquamarine, beryl, carnelian, coral, emerald, jasper, lapid lazuli, moonstone, pearl, peridot, ruby, sapphire, and turquoise.
She represents the direction of North.
Isis is the Greek version of her Egyptian name: Eset. She is the personification of feminine power and creation, and is thought to have such great power that she can raise the dead. Although an Egyptian goddess, she was heavily worshipped in Rome (where she was often associated with Venus), and is still one of the most popular goddesses worshipped by modern pagans.
In art, Isis is always shown as a woman, though her accessories and appearance are not standard. She typically appears wearing the solar disk, and occasionally has wings. She may be wearing the double crown of Egypt with a feather on the back, a horned crown containing the solar disc and two feathers on the back, or the headdress of a mortal woman but with the uraeus on her forehead. Isis also appears as a seated woman suckling her son, Horus.
She also has many symbols, including the Tet (the Buckle of Isis) and Sept (the star Sirius).
TARA
Green Tara/Khadiravani is usually associated with protection from fear and the following eight obscurations:
lions (= pride),
wild elephants (= delusion/ignorance),
fires (= hatred and anger),
snakes (= jealousy),
bandits and thieves (= wrong views, including fanatical views),
bondage (= avarice and miserliness),
floods (= desire and attachment),
evil spirits and demons (= deluded doubts).
As one of the three deities of long life, White Tara/Sarasvati is associated with longevity.
White Tara counteracts illness and thereby helps to bring about a long life.
She embodies the motivation that is compassion and is said to be as white and radiant as the moon.