About rape: Notes for the men

[elfwreck]

Inspired by an ongoing discussion/debate at a friend's journal, which has all the usual drama: several women who agree that rape is awful, that it's a lot more common than most men want to realize (hell, it's more common than *we* want to realize), and that Something Must Be Done... and the obligatory guy or two who keeps talking about people whose

Comments

[maewitch]

Most excellent. :-)

[jonnorthwood]

Well said. Very well said.

[firefly124]

Excellently said.

[happydog]

Heard and understood.

[en_ki]

Uh, who are these guys who brag about pushing women into sex? I mean, rapes happen, so presumably they exist, but...

[elfwreck]

There are high school & college guys who do this. There are pro athletes who do this. There are rock stars. There are [insert celebrity type here].

Some of them don't do so when women are around; some tone it down so it stops being "she fought hard, but I nailed her anyway" and becomes "she gave me some lip, but I showed her what a real man is."

It's almost unknown in the fannish communities. It's rare online, because online is an intellectual setting: the guys who brag about this aren't generally active, especially in the philosophical debate areas. That's part of why, when the subject comes up, many guys on LJ (and other spots on the web) get defensive... they don't quite believe that it's tolerated, that it's something people think is water-cooler gossip.

Or back-of-the-pickup behind-the-stadium gossip.

[en_ki]

OK, so it's the "alpha male" types and their hangers-on. But do they read your journal?

[azurelunatic]

The workplace can be an incredible melting pot. This isn't directed at said "alpha males" and groupies -- this directed at those who have to put up with them and are in a position to overhear these tales of "conquest".