A Discordian Koan

[elfwreck]

This is a poll at my IJ, but I figured I'd open the topic for discussion here.

When stranded far from home and surrounded by enemies, you want:

1. Lawyers, guns and money.
2. Captain Jack Sparrow.
3. Five tons of flax.
4. A bathtub full of brightly-colored East German power tools and a butterfly net.
5. An infinite improbability drive.