i feel like everything around me is just falling apart
in some sense of that statement, that is literally true. the bathroom at my apartment is actually falling apart. one shower fall was loose and eventually came down and then the pipes from the bathroom above mine is leaking, so they removed the ceiling tile b/c it was wet and gross. and they supposedly had fixed the leak on monday, but as i learned today, that is not the case. it is leaking all over again. lets see how long it takes for them to get a plumber this time. in the mean time i just get to live with a half of a ceiling and a garbage can sitting on the back of my toilet collecting water...
the rest of my life though just doesnt feel the same. i feel like so much has changed and continues to change. i feel like many friendships have changed for various reasons, but it sucks b/c most of them have been falling outs, but i havent made any new friends to fill their places, so there are just big wholes in my life that leave such an empty feeling. these past few weeks have been extra hard b/c i have had so much free time and there has been nothing to do or no one to hang out with to help waste that time. hopefully once the camp season starts i will feel a little better, at least thats what im hoping for.
and of course my family is falling apart too. since the bathroom disaster i have been home a lot more and that has been stressful. the bonds between everyone is this house are so fake, and usually only get stronger when someone needs something. my mom and dad have a very very akward relationship. they dont speak to each other unless absolutely necessary. my mom has moved in to my bedroom. my sisters are only here to sleep and occassionally throughout the day when it is convenient for them. when i do speak to my mom it is constantly a fight, i have nothing to say to her, so it is usually her bothering me about something or me picking on something in her life that she cant do right, like clean up ANYTHING around the house.
what do you do in life when you feel like you have no friends to turn to AND no family to turn to? the only answer i have come up with is sit home feeling alone and miserable, which is what i have been doing
the rest of my life though just doesnt feel the same. i feel like so much has changed and continues to change. i feel like many friendships have changed for various reasons, but it sucks b/c most of them have been falling outs, but i havent made any new friends to fill their places, so there are just big wholes in my life that leave such an empty feeling. these past few weeks have been extra hard b/c i have had so much free time and there has been nothing to do or no one to hang out with to help waste that time. hopefully once the camp season starts i will feel a little better, at least thats what im hoping for.
and of course my family is falling apart too. since the bathroom disaster i have been home a lot more and that has been stressful. the bonds between everyone is this house are so fake, and usually only get stronger when someone needs something. my mom and dad have a very very akward relationship. they dont speak to each other unless absolutely necessary. my mom has moved in to my bedroom. my sisters are only here to sleep and occassionally throughout the day when it is convenient for them. when i do speak to my mom it is constantly a fight, i have nothing to say to her, so it is usually her bothering me about something or me picking on something in her life that she cant do right, like clean up ANYTHING around the house.
what do you do in life when you feel like you have no friends to turn to AND no family to turn to? the only answer i have come up with is sit home feeling alone and miserable, which is what i have been doing