♦untitled
→untitled, onkey;one-sided jongkey;jongkyung, nc17, angst/drama, wc~2500
summary: In which Key decides he's not affected. Not one bit.
Key hears about it on the radio.
On the fucking radio.
He slams his fists on the table, curling his fingers, hissing as he closes his cat-like eyes. His eyes hurt and his vision is blurred from crying, his chest is heavy he feels like he's breaking apart. He can't explain the emotions he's going through right now; sadness, anger, betrayal (what for? he asks himself. Him and Jonghyun weren't a couple or anything.) and last but not least, fear.
(what if jonghyun forgot about him? threw him away like a piece of crap? treated him like everyone else treated him?)
He takes a long sip of wine. Unlike his hyungs, the taste of beer lost on him. He likes the more sophisticated taste of wine, and either way he was going to get drunk and wash away the memories.
He feels a tap on his shoulder, and he looks over his shoulder. There's a person standing there, he's tall and bulky with lots of muscle and a handsome face. He's raising an eyebrow at Key, and he can't actually tell if the man's eyes are green or blue or hazel or brown or black or what.
(because key is drunk and it's fine because he can't even remember that guys name, what's his face, who he was crying about, if the tear tracks are anything to tell by --)
"Are you here alone?" he asks, and Key notices he has a Seoul accent, but with a little bit of a light-hearted tone.
(just like what's his face, he thinks, but he can't really place who he is.)
Key nods, wiping dried tears off of his cheeks. "Yeah." he murmurs, closing his eyes for a second, blinking the last of the salty water out of his eyes. "Yeah, I am. Sadly."
The man laughs. "Dumped, or what?"
Key shakes his head. "Worse then that. They got a girlfriend." he takes another drink of wine, gripping the glass tightly. "A fucking girlfriend, didn't even know of my feelings, god..." he groans, shifting in his seat, a tad uncomfortable.
The stranger gives him a sympathetic look. "I'm Heoyu." the man - Heoyu, now - says, taking Key's hand. The stranger's hand is warm and his skin is calloused.
"My name is Kibum." he murmurs, swaying a bit in his seat. He crosses his legs, using his arm to prop himself up.
Heoyu laughs. "Oh. I know." he grins. "You're in that boy group, SHINee, right? I love them. I was surprised to see you here, you're my favourite member."
Key blushed and mutters a quick thanks. "Did you want an autograph or something?"
The other man shakes his head. "You seemed a bit side. I'm guessing... this is about the news of Jonghyun-sshi and Shin Se Kyung-sshi dating?"
Key's eyes widen and he bites his lip, looking away at the TV where they're talking about some mine rescue in Chile. "I don't know." he sighs. He feels oddly comfortable with the Heoyu - he feels like he's seen him somewhere, met him, but in his slight drunken haze he can't place who he is.
"I have a friend like that too. Except he's not really dating anyone; he likes someone, though. He doesn't even cast a glance at me." the man says and Key notices that when he smiles his whole face lights up.
Key responds with a small 'hm.' He finishes his last glass of wine, getting up and slinging his bag around his shoulder.
"Where are you going?"
He glances at the clock, seeing the time. Two in the morning and his schedule starts at five-thirty. If he's quick he can make it home by two-thirty and get three hours of sleep.
"I have to go," he murmurs, starting to walk backwards. The man has a hurt look on his face. "Bye." he continues in a loud voice after, retreating until he's running down the street, the rain pelting and wetting his dyed hair, getting his five-hundred-dollar outfit wet.
(but he could care less right now)
* * *
"Kibum-ah! Wake up." he hears a voice say, shaking him awake. Key blinks and cracks on eye open, seeing Onew looming over him.
"Onew hyung?" he murmurs, turning over onto his stomach and burying his face into his pillow. "I'm so tired..." he groans. "Five more minutes..."
He hears a shuffling sound and suddenly Key is freezing, dripping wet, colder then he was in the wee hours of the morning running through the streets. "What the fuck, hyung?"
Onew gives him one of his trademark grins. "Dry off and hurry up, Kibum-ah. We need to get going."
Key groans, pulls himself out of bed and starts to get ready for yet another long day.
* * *
Key sends glares at Jonghyun's back as he texts his girlfriend, a goofy, love-struck grin on his face. He wants to slap his friend and scream 'oh my god, you fucking idiot!' but he holds back and instead plasters a fake smile on his face when Jonghyun turns around.
"Can you cover for me?" his best friend asks and soon Key's literally forcing his smile to stay on his face.
He tilts his head, raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "Pardon me?" he asks in his most diva-esque voice.
(trying to make it seem like he wasn't jealous, just arrogant)
"Se Kyung-ah has a break right now and she's just around the corner. Tell our manager that something came up, like, really important. Okay?" Key nods mutely, not trusting his words. "Great, thanks. I owe you one!" he yells out before running away and out of Key's vision.
(and his life and maybe, possibly his heart. because Key now knows for sure that Shin Se Kyung is more important then him and no amount of voodooing will change that)
* * *
"Kibum-ah?" Onew says one day. They're the only ones in the dorm - Jonghyun is out with Shin Se Kyung - oh how it pains him - Taemin and Minho out at Super Junior's Kiss The Radio.
Key rolls over so he's facing Onew, blinking at his hyung. "Yeah?"
Onew seems to think for a moment, pondering his thoughts. "Do you like Jonghyun-ah?"
Key's breathe hitches and his eyes slide shut. His heart is beating wildly for whatever reason and he bites his lip, chewing on it like candy. He takes a deep breathe. "No," he whispers, his voice low. "Maybe. I don't know anymore. No. I don't think so."
"Kibum-ah?" Onew repeats his name and Key looks at him, his knees going up to his chest and his arms going closer to his chest.
"Yeah?" he asks and he feels sort of trapped, Onew not taking his gaze off of him.
"I like you." Key nods. He knew that already, of course, they were friends. It wouldn't be very friendly if Onew didn't like him.
He glances at Onew. "What's your point?" he replies, rolling onto his back so he's staring at the popcorn-like ceiling.
He feels the bed shift and suddenly Onew is on top of him, the other's legs trapping his own together, his hands pinning Key's arms over his head. He can feel Onew's breathe on his face and he can already guess what's coming. He feels lips press against his own and it feels weird to him, a foreign feeling.
Not that's he's ever been kissed before, but not with so much intensity and...meaning.
A tongue begs for entrance to Key's sweet cavern and he allows it, not thinking straight but surely not thinking of his god-awful best friend and maybe, possibly former crush.
(but he can't be certain)
A tingly feeling follows wherever Onew's tongue goes and Key lets out a small, barely audible whimper. He's sure Onew doesn't even hear it until he presses closer to Key.
A few seconds later they break a part. Onew's hair is disheveled from where Key's hands were grasping, Onew having let go to hold Key's face in his hands.
"Oh my god," Key whispers, his voice shaky. "Oh my god."
Onew gives a small smile. "Is that a good oh my god?"
Key can't reply, knowing he would only speak dialect if he tried to open his mouth. He tugs on Onew's hair, giving him a look. Onew gives another one of his famous, cheeky smiles before he takes Key's mouth again.
Clothes are torn off soon after, with loud slaps and moans in the proccess. Key is holding onto Onew for dear life, his legs wrapped around the older man's waist as Onew licks and nips as his neck, down his chest and soon face to face with Key's member.
"Please, please." he babbles and hopes Onew understands what he wants. He seems to because a second later, Onew's hand is stroking Key's member. Slowly, at first, then faster and faster, and soon his mouth is on it and oh god, ohmygod, it feel's so good -
"I didn't know you were so vocal." Onew murmurs in his ear, his voice ever so husky and Key can't believe that it's Onew that's in front of him. Looking so bloody hot and sexy. So perfect.
Key blushes and whines at the loss of the warmth in his nether regions, but squirms as he feels something tracing his entrance. He looks down to see Onew's single index finger, tugging on the edges of Key's hole.
"Onew," he hisses, closing his eyes. "Onew, Onew."
"Call me Jinki. My name is Jinki." Jinki answers and Key nods, willing to comply to anything. His chest is tightening and he feels like he's going to explode.
"Jinki. Jinki, please." he drags on the last syllable, and the word ends up sounding more like 'pleasahhhhhhh.'
A slight, uncomfortable tingling shoots through his body like thunder. He shifts in the bed, the rustling of the covers reminding him who he is, where he is and who he's with but Key doesn't really mind anymore.
(because as Key looks up and sees Jinki's look of adoration and love he can't help but think that Jinki is beautiful right now)
A second finger is added and Key winces, and when a third one is in tears actually form in his eyes. He grips the sheets tightl because god, it hurts, it hurts a lot.
He can't help but think how much it will hurt when Jinki actually enters him.
The stinging feeling isn't gone when Jinki's fingers are removed, though he does feel a little stretched and uncomfortable.
"Are you a virgin?" Jinki asks and Key blushes, hoisting himself up so they're in the sitting position. Key looks at him and nods a little bit.
(he was actually saving it, for a certain someone who he'd rather not think about at this moment)
"Oh my god." Jinki murmurs and Key knows he wasn't meant to hear it. He closes his eyes, resting his head on Jinki's shoulder. "You were -"
Key nods, pressing his lips against Jinki's neck. "I want you to have it, Jinki."
Jinki takes his face in his hands, shifting his chin so Key's looking at his eyes. They're so deep and full of emotion it's making Key feel like he's suffocating, choking on all the emotion. "Are you sure? You can't go back after, Kibum. Once it's gone it's lost forever."
Key nods. "I want you to take it - take me."
Jinki nods, biting his lip as the words obviously affected him. He lifts Key up, placing him back down on the bed so they're in the missionary position. He grabs a bottle of oil - most likely Taemin's - from the bedside table and dips his fingers in it, coating them generously before rubbing his member with them. From this position, he's sort of scared, because the stinging hasn't gone away and Jinki is big.
"Please..." Jinki looks up as he hears Key speak. Key takes a deep breathe, telling himself not to be embarrassed because he knows that Jinki is in love with him and only him. "....P-please, be gentle..." And the words pain him to speak because Key is not one for words.
Jinki gives him a large, unshielded grin as he presses against Key's entrance. "Of course." he says as he pushes down Key's shoulder, thrusting his hips forward as he goes further into Key.
It's sudden, when a straight, sharp pain passes through his body, like he's being stabbed repeatedly in his back. "Fuck," he hisses in English. "Jinki..."
Jinki gives him an apologetic look and keeps going until he's completely inside. Key would be somewhat fascinated if he wasn't in so much pain.
Key is surprised that Jinki could stay still inside him for three minutes. "Okay, you can move." he says shakily.
A few thrusts and their pattern is set, a medium-paced speed. It's a little uncomfortable for Key for a few minutes and Key can feel Jinki repeatedly angling his thrusts in different directions.
Once Key's chest is about to burst, or so it feels like, everything seems to turn to white and it's only Jinki. "Oh my god." he cries out, arching his back and pressing into Jinki. "Jinki, Jinki, Jinki." he repeats his name like a mantra, like a cry for help.
"Kibum." Jinki whispered, taking Key's mouth into a kiss as their tongues do a perfect dance. It's around three minutes later and Key's still yelling out Jinki's name combined with random sounds and whimpers.
"Kibum, I'm coming." Jinki mutters and Key feels a hand on his wheeping member, the sensations combining together with Jinki starting to kiss Key again.
And it's all too much as he comes, his load spilling onto his and Jinki's chest. Jinki pulls out a few seconds after, coming over the sheets and Key. The older collapses on Key, pulling him into his arms.
"Jinki." Key mutters, the noise muffled by how tight Jinki his holding him against his chest. Key can actually feel Jinki's heartbeat this way.
"Shhh," Jinki whispers. "I know you may regret it, and that you may still like or even love Jonghyun-ah. But, just, please, know how much I love you. I love you so much, Kibum. Everything about you, head to toe, your personality and even your temper. You're perfect, so perfect I have a hard time believing your real sometimes."
Key's trying hard not to cry now. He cuddles into Jinki, tangling their legs together and lookign up at Jinki. "I know, I know. I-I don't know what to say. I...I love you?" he says, though it comes out a bit as a question.
Jinki doesn't seem to mind as he kisses all over Kibum's face. "I love you too, Kibum. And even if you don't love me yet, I'll teach you how to love."
And as Jinki gives another smile, his hands moving towards Key's own, bringing his hand over to Jinki's chest. He feels Jinki's heart beating steadily and smiles.
"I love you, Kim Kibum. And don't forget that."
summary: In which Key decides he's not affected. Not one bit.
Key hears about it on the radio.
On the fucking radio.
He slams his fists on the table, curling his fingers, hissing as he closes his cat-like eyes. His eyes hurt and his vision is blurred from crying, his chest is heavy he feels like he's breaking apart. He can't explain the emotions he's going through right now; sadness, anger, betrayal (what for? he asks himself. Him and Jonghyun weren't a couple or anything.) and last but not least, fear.
(what if jonghyun forgot about him? threw him away like a piece of crap? treated him like everyone else treated him?)
He takes a long sip of wine. Unlike his hyungs, the taste of beer lost on him. He likes the more sophisticated taste of wine, and either way he was going to get drunk and wash away the memories.
He feels a tap on his shoulder, and he looks over his shoulder. There's a person standing there, he's tall and bulky with lots of muscle and a handsome face. He's raising an eyebrow at Key, and he can't actually tell if the man's eyes are green or blue or hazel or brown or black or what.
(because key is drunk and it's fine because he can't even remember that guys name, what's his face, who he was crying about, if the tear tracks are anything to tell by --)
"Are you here alone?" he asks, and Key notices he has a Seoul accent, but with a little bit of a light-hearted tone.
(just like what's his face, he thinks, but he can't really place who he is.)
Key nods, wiping dried tears off of his cheeks. "Yeah." he murmurs, closing his eyes for a second, blinking the last of the salty water out of his eyes. "Yeah, I am. Sadly."
The man laughs. "Dumped, or what?"
Key shakes his head. "Worse then that. They got a girlfriend." he takes another drink of wine, gripping the glass tightly. "A fucking girlfriend, didn't even know of my feelings, god..." he groans, shifting in his seat, a tad uncomfortable.
The stranger gives him a sympathetic look. "I'm Heoyu." the man - Heoyu, now - says, taking Key's hand. The stranger's hand is warm and his skin is calloused.
"My name is Kibum." he murmurs, swaying a bit in his seat. He crosses his legs, using his arm to prop himself up.
Heoyu laughs. "Oh. I know." he grins. "You're in that boy group, SHINee, right? I love them. I was surprised to see you here, you're my favourite member."
Key blushed and mutters a quick thanks. "Did you want an autograph or something?"
The other man shakes his head. "You seemed a bit side. I'm guessing... this is about the news of Jonghyun-sshi and Shin Se Kyung-sshi dating?"
Key's eyes widen and he bites his lip, looking away at the TV where they're talking about some mine rescue in Chile. "I don't know." he sighs. He feels oddly comfortable with the Heoyu - he feels like he's seen him somewhere, met him, but in his slight drunken haze he can't place who he is.
"I have a friend like that too. Except he's not really dating anyone; he likes someone, though. He doesn't even cast a glance at me." the man says and Key notices that when he smiles his whole face lights up.
Key responds with a small 'hm.' He finishes his last glass of wine, getting up and slinging his bag around his shoulder.
"Where are you going?"
He glances at the clock, seeing the time. Two in the morning and his schedule starts at five-thirty. If he's quick he can make it home by two-thirty and get three hours of sleep.
"I have to go," he murmurs, starting to walk backwards. The man has a hurt look on his face. "Bye." he continues in a loud voice after, retreating until he's running down the street, the rain pelting and wetting his dyed hair, getting his five-hundred-dollar outfit wet.
(but he could care less right now)
* * *
"Kibum-ah! Wake up." he hears a voice say, shaking him awake. Key blinks and cracks on eye open, seeing Onew looming over him.
"Onew hyung?" he murmurs, turning over onto his stomach and burying his face into his pillow. "I'm so tired..." he groans. "Five more minutes..."
He hears a shuffling sound and suddenly Key is freezing, dripping wet, colder then he was in the wee hours of the morning running through the streets. "What the fuck, hyung?"
Onew gives him one of his trademark grins. "Dry off and hurry up, Kibum-ah. We need to get going."
Key groans, pulls himself out of bed and starts to get ready for yet another long day.
* * *
Key sends glares at Jonghyun's back as he texts his girlfriend, a goofy, love-struck grin on his face. He wants to slap his friend and scream 'oh my god, you fucking idiot!' but he holds back and instead plasters a fake smile on his face when Jonghyun turns around.
"Can you cover for me?" his best friend asks and soon Key's literally forcing his smile to stay on his face.
He tilts his head, raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "Pardon me?" he asks in his most diva-esque voice.
(trying to make it seem like he wasn't jealous, just arrogant)
"Se Kyung-ah has a break right now and she's just around the corner. Tell our manager that something came up, like, really important. Okay?" Key nods mutely, not trusting his words. "Great, thanks. I owe you one!" he yells out before running away and out of Key's vision.
(and his life and maybe, possibly his heart. because Key now knows for sure that Shin Se Kyung is more important then him and no amount of voodooing will change that)
* * *
"Kibum-ah?" Onew says one day. They're the only ones in the dorm - Jonghyun is out with Shin Se Kyung - oh how it pains him - Taemin and Minho out at Super Junior's Kiss The Radio.
Key rolls over so he's facing Onew, blinking at his hyung. "Yeah?"
Onew seems to think for a moment, pondering his thoughts. "Do you like Jonghyun-ah?"
Key's breathe hitches and his eyes slide shut. His heart is beating wildly for whatever reason and he bites his lip, chewing on it like candy. He takes a deep breathe. "No," he whispers, his voice low. "Maybe. I don't know anymore. No. I don't think so."
"Kibum-ah?" Onew repeats his name and Key looks at him, his knees going up to his chest and his arms going closer to his chest.
"Yeah?" he asks and he feels sort of trapped, Onew not taking his gaze off of him.
"I like you." Key nods. He knew that already, of course, they were friends. It wouldn't be very friendly if Onew didn't like him.
He glances at Onew. "What's your point?" he replies, rolling onto his back so he's staring at the popcorn-like ceiling.
He feels the bed shift and suddenly Onew is on top of him, the other's legs trapping his own together, his hands pinning Key's arms over his head. He can feel Onew's breathe on his face and he can already guess what's coming. He feels lips press against his own and it feels weird to him, a foreign feeling.
Not that's he's ever been kissed before, but not with so much intensity and...meaning.
A tongue begs for entrance to Key's sweet cavern and he allows it, not thinking straight but surely not thinking of his god-awful best friend and maybe, possibly former crush.
(but he can't be certain)
A tingly feeling follows wherever Onew's tongue goes and Key lets out a small, barely audible whimper. He's sure Onew doesn't even hear it until he presses closer to Key.
A few seconds later they break a part. Onew's hair is disheveled from where Key's hands were grasping, Onew having let go to hold Key's face in his hands.
"Oh my god," Key whispers, his voice shaky. "Oh my god."
Onew gives a small smile. "Is that a good oh my god?"
Key can't reply, knowing he would only speak dialect if he tried to open his mouth. He tugs on Onew's hair, giving him a look. Onew gives another one of his famous, cheeky smiles before he takes Key's mouth again.
Clothes are torn off soon after, with loud slaps and moans in the proccess. Key is holding onto Onew for dear life, his legs wrapped around the older man's waist as Onew licks and nips as his neck, down his chest and soon face to face with Key's member.
"Please, please." he babbles and hopes Onew understands what he wants. He seems to because a second later, Onew's hand is stroking Key's member. Slowly, at first, then faster and faster, and soon his mouth is on it and oh god, ohmygod, it feel's so good -
"I didn't know you were so vocal." Onew murmurs in his ear, his voice ever so husky and Key can't believe that it's Onew that's in front of him. Looking so bloody hot and sexy. So perfect.
Key blushes and whines at the loss of the warmth in his nether regions, but squirms as he feels something tracing his entrance. He looks down to see Onew's single index finger, tugging on the edges of Key's hole.
"Onew," he hisses, closing his eyes. "Onew, Onew."
"Call me Jinki. My name is Jinki." Jinki answers and Key nods, willing to comply to anything. His chest is tightening and he feels like he's going to explode.
"Jinki. Jinki, please." he drags on the last syllable, and the word ends up sounding more like 'pleasahhhhhhh.'
A slight, uncomfortable tingling shoots through his body like thunder. He shifts in the bed, the rustling of the covers reminding him who he is, where he is and who he's with but Key doesn't really mind anymore.
(because as Key looks up and sees Jinki's look of adoration and love he can't help but think that Jinki is beautiful right now)
A second finger is added and Key winces, and when a third one is in tears actually form in his eyes. He grips the sheets tightl because god, it hurts, it hurts a lot.
He can't help but think how much it will hurt when Jinki actually enters him.
The stinging feeling isn't gone when Jinki's fingers are removed, though he does feel a little stretched and uncomfortable.
"Are you a virgin?" Jinki asks and Key blushes, hoisting himself up so they're in the sitting position. Key looks at him and nods a little bit.
(he was actually saving it, for a certain someone who he'd rather not think about at this moment)
"Oh my god." Jinki murmurs and Key knows he wasn't meant to hear it. He closes his eyes, resting his head on Jinki's shoulder. "You were -"
Key nods, pressing his lips against Jinki's neck. "I want you to have it, Jinki."
Jinki takes his face in his hands, shifting his chin so Key's looking at his eyes. They're so deep and full of emotion it's making Key feel like he's suffocating, choking on all the emotion. "Are you sure? You can't go back after, Kibum. Once it's gone it's lost forever."
Key nods. "I want you to take it - take me."
Jinki nods, biting his lip as the words obviously affected him. He lifts Key up, placing him back down on the bed so they're in the missionary position. He grabs a bottle of oil - most likely Taemin's - from the bedside table and dips his fingers in it, coating them generously before rubbing his member with them. From this position, he's sort of scared, because the stinging hasn't gone away and Jinki is big.
"Please..." Jinki looks up as he hears Key speak. Key takes a deep breathe, telling himself not to be embarrassed because he knows that Jinki is in love with him and only him. "....P-please, be gentle..." And the words pain him to speak because Key is not one for words.
Jinki gives him a large, unshielded grin as he presses against Key's entrance. "Of course." he says as he pushes down Key's shoulder, thrusting his hips forward as he goes further into Key.
It's sudden, when a straight, sharp pain passes through his body, like he's being stabbed repeatedly in his back. "Fuck," he hisses in English. "Jinki..."
Jinki gives him an apologetic look and keeps going until he's completely inside. Key would be somewhat fascinated if he wasn't in so much pain.
Key is surprised that Jinki could stay still inside him for three minutes. "Okay, you can move." he says shakily.
A few thrusts and their pattern is set, a medium-paced speed. It's a little uncomfortable for Key for a few minutes and Key can feel Jinki repeatedly angling his thrusts in different directions.
Once Key's chest is about to burst, or so it feels like, everything seems to turn to white and it's only Jinki. "Oh my god." he cries out, arching his back and pressing into Jinki. "Jinki, Jinki, Jinki." he repeats his name like a mantra, like a cry for help.
"Kibum." Jinki whispered, taking Key's mouth into a kiss as their tongues do a perfect dance. It's around three minutes later and Key's still yelling out Jinki's name combined with random sounds and whimpers.
"Kibum, I'm coming." Jinki mutters and Key feels a hand on his wheeping member, the sensations combining together with Jinki starting to kiss Key again.
And it's all too much as he comes, his load spilling onto his and Jinki's chest. Jinki pulls out a few seconds after, coming over the sheets and Key. The older collapses on Key, pulling him into his arms.
"Jinki." Key mutters, the noise muffled by how tight Jinki his holding him against his chest. Key can actually feel Jinki's heartbeat this way.
"Shhh," Jinki whispers. "I know you may regret it, and that you may still like or even love Jonghyun-ah. But, just, please, know how much I love you. I love you so much, Kibum. Everything about you, head to toe, your personality and even your temper. You're perfect, so perfect I have a hard time believing your real sometimes."
Key's trying hard not to cry now. He cuddles into Jinki, tangling their legs together and lookign up at Jinki. "I know, I know. I-I don't know what to say. I...I love you?" he says, though it comes out a bit as a question.
Jinki doesn't seem to mind as he kisses all over Kibum's face. "I love you too, Kibum. And even if you don't love me yet, I'll teach you how to love."
And as Jinki gives another smile, his hands moving towards Key's own, bringing his hand over to Jinki's chest. He feels Jinki's heart beating steadily and smiles.
"I love you, Kim Kibum. And don't forget that."