Random Soap Box: On Sexuality
I occasionally go to a karaoke var Saturday nights with a group of friends. One woman I go there with is married to a transexual. I forget what was said, but she's a bit loud when drunk, and she stated quite clearly over the the sound of tone-deaf screeching that she was not a lesbian. And was rather insulted when the rest of us gave disbelieving smiles. Because her spouse has the medical bills to prove she's female, even if the driver's license still says Michael. Before the surgery I'd flip-flop my pronouns about her- because she still went out as a man, since she was working on base at the time. But she's got a new job, new face, and different hormones. She's a girl, so that makes them lesbians, right? Except no, they're both more interested in men than women and simply occasionally pinch-hit for the other team. (Thus making their marraige- both pre and post-op- rather unusual.)
As someone who doesn't pay much attention to that sort of thing, I'm a little confused by how upset it had made her. And it rather got me wondering about how you would define straight, gay, and bisexual. I know many people who would be rather upset to be labeled bi, when they consider themselves straight or gay. But do the terms define sexual activity or merely attraction? The Kinsey scale is pretty clear about it, but for those of us who don't have personal history to go by, it makes things difficult. Because while I can easily tell if I find someone attractive or not, there's still the fact that it's not sexual. For example, I spent ten minutes staring at April's breasts last night. Partially because I'd had two drinks within the hour on an empty stomach and had trouble focusing and she was right in front of me and partially because they were bouncing everywhere and it was rather hypnotic. I can appreciate nice curves, but I don't want to have sex with her. So would that make me bi or straight?
And apparently it's the bisexuals who are least accepted in general. I know I made a crack about the MTV show being about an equal-opportunity slut, but that's what they're considered- by both the straight and queer communities. (Or else 'gender-confused.') Like, if you're not with us, you're against us. Why can't it just be you like it both ways? There ought to be a checklist. Gay, straight, and other. Because bisexual doesn't really cover things like transexuals, or straight guys in drag. And what's so damn important about labels anyway? Am I seriously so odd for not caring what gender you're doing in your spare time? It seems such a stupid thing to worry about.
I frequently get invites from Richard for his Orlando GLBTQ group. Really couldn't tell you exactly why- it's an eight hour drive for it. But I could make a couple guesses. Maybe my disinterest in sex (with either gender) comes across as a closet case. It could also be the women's college I went to. (Lesbians aren't as hot as you think, you pervs. They're normal looking people.) ... You can take the girl out of the women's college, but you can't take the women's college out of the girl. I'll be getting double-takes for it twenty years from now. I'll admit they've got a higher percentage of foreign students than your standard college, but may I point out that it was a five minute walk to a MARTA station? It was a far safer section of Atlanta than other universities there had.
Thus ends the soap box. Questions, comments, general update news having nothing to do with this post?
As someone who doesn't pay much attention to that sort of thing, I'm a little confused by how upset it had made her. And it rather got me wondering about how you would define straight, gay, and bisexual. I know many people who would be rather upset to be labeled bi, when they consider themselves straight or gay. But do the terms define sexual activity or merely attraction? The Kinsey scale is pretty clear about it, but for those of us who don't have personal history to go by, it makes things difficult. Because while I can easily tell if I find someone attractive or not, there's still the fact that it's not sexual. For example, I spent ten minutes staring at April's breasts last night. Partially because I'd had two drinks within the hour on an empty stomach and had trouble focusing and she was right in front of me and partially because they were bouncing everywhere and it was rather hypnotic. I can appreciate nice curves, but I don't want to have sex with her. So would that make me bi or straight?
And apparently it's the bisexuals who are least accepted in general. I know I made a crack about the MTV show being about an equal-opportunity slut, but that's what they're considered- by both the straight and queer communities. (Or else 'gender-confused.') Like, if you're not with us, you're against us. Why can't it just be you like it both ways? There ought to be a checklist. Gay, straight, and other. Because bisexual doesn't really cover things like transexuals, or straight guys in drag. And what's so damn important about labels anyway? Am I seriously so odd for not caring what gender you're doing in your spare time? It seems such a stupid thing to worry about.
I frequently get invites from Richard for his Orlando GLBTQ group. Really couldn't tell you exactly why- it's an eight hour drive for it. But I could make a couple guesses. Maybe my disinterest in sex (with either gender) comes across as a closet case. It could also be the women's college I went to. (Lesbians aren't as hot as you think, you pervs. They're normal looking people.) ... You can take the girl out of the women's college, but you can't take the women's college out of the girl. I'll be getting double-takes for it twenty years from now. I'll admit they've got a higher percentage of foreign students than your standard college, but may I point out that it was a five minute walk to a MARTA station? It was a far safer section of Atlanta than other universities there had.
Thus ends the soap box. Questions, comments, general update news having nothing to do with this post?