(no subject)
Dear T.J. from about three years ago,
You will get over Nic and Ezekiel. You will finally get over your irrational distaste for all things French. (Other than Amelie and toast of course) You will get over worrying about all the senseless mistakes you have made and what impact they might have on future you. (me) You're gonna have a lot of sex. Don't freak out, just think "why not?" Some asshole will come along and make sure that you cease caring what anyone thinks of your writing. You will even lose some weight and then gain some back and still not give a shit. Pretty cool stuff.
Someone should let you know though that when you do find someone who seemingly likes you for who you are, you're still going to have to work on ironing out all of your little issues and insecurities every day. Much as you'd like to magically believe they'll all fade away the second someone repeatedly tells you how awesome you are, it's still your shit. It's your life. And truthfully, it's a good thing you'll spend these next three years living alone and losing friends and being put in a situation to learn how to be comfortable all by yourself. Because you're going to discover you are always alone no matter who's talking.
But don't worry T.J. You're going to be happy. Really ridiculously happy and on your own terms, with just the love in your heart for all the silly little artifacts and situations and facial expressions out there in the world. You're going to learn how to take care of yourself and be comfortable with yourself. You'll find lots of new music and have lots of new experiences that make you just want to learn languages and go help people build houses in Africa. And regardless of how worthless you may be feeling right now, by the time you get here, you're going to have lots of stuff to be proud of kid; even if it doesn't always seem like it.
You'll move in with Kevin Mueller. Crazy right? Trust him with your life because he's like a brother to me and I know he'd never let you down. Oh, and that woman you work for is going to be like your fairy godmother. And you're going to date a guy who's taller than you are in heels. I still can't tell you what happens with that one though. All I can say is he's going to be understanding and funny, and you're going to be terrified he'll get in at all the vulnerable places. It'll be okay though. I like to think that even after everything you've put yourself through, your faith in love will endure and you'll learn to really embrace the possibility that you could be in love with another human being who loves you back. Stop worrying and just live your life for whatever it is. Stop being afraid and just take it.
Hang in there T.J. I know you will, but I think saying it would mean a lot to you coming from me. There's no need to panic just yet, but if you do, I have faith you'll get through it.
<3
PS. Nic really does care about you. I know he's retarded most of the time, but just fucking believe it already.
PPS. You and your mom are going to be friends, and you'll actually talk to each other again. Trust me, I'm working on it.
PPPS. Randa is totally the shit, and you're going to be sooo grateful that Ryan married her.
You will get over Nic and Ezekiel. You will finally get over your irrational distaste for all things French. (Other than Amelie and toast of course) You will get over worrying about all the senseless mistakes you have made and what impact they might have on future you. (me) You're gonna have a lot of sex. Don't freak out, just think "why not?" Some asshole will come along and make sure that you cease caring what anyone thinks of your writing. You will even lose some weight and then gain some back and still not give a shit. Pretty cool stuff.
Someone should let you know though that when you do find someone who seemingly likes you for who you are, you're still going to have to work on ironing out all of your little issues and insecurities every day. Much as you'd like to magically believe they'll all fade away the second someone repeatedly tells you how awesome you are, it's still your shit. It's your life. And truthfully, it's a good thing you'll spend these next three years living alone and losing friends and being put in a situation to learn how to be comfortable all by yourself. Because you're going to discover you are always alone no matter who's talking.
But don't worry T.J. You're going to be happy. Really ridiculously happy and on your own terms, with just the love in your heart for all the silly little artifacts and situations and facial expressions out there in the world. You're going to learn how to take care of yourself and be comfortable with yourself. You'll find lots of new music and have lots of new experiences that make you just want to learn languages and go help people build houses in Africa. And regardless of how worthless you may be feeling right now, by the time you get here, you're going to have lots of stuff to be proud of kid; even if it doesn't always seem like it.
You'll move in with Kevin Mueller. Crazy right? Trust him with your life because he's like a brother to me and I know he'd never let you down. Oh, and that woman you work for is going to be like your fairy godmother. And you're going to date a guy who's taller than you are in heels. I still can't tell you what happens with that one though. All I can say is he's going to be understanding and funny, and you're going to be terrified he'll get in at all the vulnerable places. It'll be okay though. I like to think that even after everything you've put yourself through, your faith in love will endure and you'll learn to really embrace the possibility that you could be in love with another human being who loves you back. Stop worrying and just live your life for whatever it is. Stop being afraid and just take it.
Hang in there T.J. I know you will, but I think saying it would mean a lot to you coming from me. There's no need to panic just yet, but if you do, I have faith you'll get through it.
<3
PS. Nic really does care about you. I know he's retarded most of the time, but just fucking believe it already.
PPS. You and your mom are going to be friends, and you'll actually talk to each other again. Trust me, I'm working on it.
PPPS. Randa is totally the shit, and you're going to be sooo grateful that Ryan married her.