Fanarama
I spent the weekend rewatching old episodes of Stargate Atlantis with friends. A marathon of the things. I am also rewatching Buffy and Angel - so I am quite emersed in genre shows right now.
Saw X Men: First Class this week, too. It was by far the best of the X Men films, so far I think. Although Ian McKellen and Ptrick Stewart were good in other films I think this one holds up the best overall.
And only about an hour ago I realised I had met and interviewed Michael Fassbender about six years ago. I had gone on a set visit to Hex, it was being filmed in an abandoned church in Belsize park. I was supposed to just be interviewing Jemima Rooper, but I got him as well. It all came flooding back. I remember what astonishingly blue eyes the man had and how very flirty and lovely he was.
I am going to search out the tape with the interview some time, I think.
----
I also just found Trippy Start Jumpers. The fandom with no actual show that I started. I was the one and only fan since the show only existed in my head.
Well anyway, this is some of it...
Captain Ricky Jimminy had volunteered for this mission. He was bored with his life - the navy was no fun any more. Not now they had told him he wasn’t allowed to use so much hair gel.
What was life without good hair?
They were just a bunch of stiffs, he decided.
So when a spaceship landed on Earth and aliens stepped out to ask if anyone would like to come back to their home planet for a little while he was the first to put his hand up and say: "Hey, I’ll go."
The navy was glad to get rid of him. Ever since that incident where he had accidentally sunk two battleships (not enemy battleships, either) they were understandably keen to avoid any further casualties.
He had managed to get out of it by explaining that the button that launched the missiles had been marked "hot water" by mistake.
It had, but it was a code word.
As Jimminy didn’t have security clearance he pointed out there was no way he could have known that.
He shouldn’t have been in the control room in the first place, but he wanted to see the beautiful Lt Sharon Felicity. A rather well developed officer who had never said yes when he had asked her on a date. Which was good reason to keep trying, he thought.
----
He was the world chess champion at the age of eight and had been among the top Scrabble players in the United States for the last four years. So when the aliens asked for some of the best and brightest, Derek Peterson jumped at the chance.
It would be a new world to conquer, possibly a world with a different gravity where his limp wouldn’t be so much of a problem.
At school he had been nicknamed Quasimodo, and he was glad to have graduated at seven and completed his university education by the age of ten.
He got the respect he felt he deserved on the Scrabble circuit.
But he had never found love. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was the facial ticks (he had bought a powder to deal with those though - you couldn't have insects crawling all over you without someone commenting eventually), the insistence he was always right and the fact he couldn’t stand other people.
Now at the age of thirty-seven he felt he could finally prove himself to the entire universe.
He packed a tiny suitcase and said goodbye to his cousin Frank - the only one of his relatives who hadn’t stopped talking to him when he decided to stop paying for his grandmother’s coke habit.
He would be gone a long time, he hoped, perhaps for ever.
Derek was sad that he couldn’t bring his goldfish Mortimer with him, but the aliens had very strict rules about which species they would allow. There were allergic to seafood, apparently.
Maybe his should have tipped everyone off as to their intentions, but the specially chosen voyagers were so fantastically excited about travelling to another galaxy that they didn’t stop to wonder about the motives of their new friends.
If they had only watched V, they could have avoided a lot of problems.
Derek didn't wear socks - they only reminded him of his loss.
If only he had been more careful, if only he had not gone for that triple word score, he would still have his leg. The memory still haunted him.
---
Hair gel - that was the most important thing to take. Ricky was glad he had been allowed to take as big a suitcase as possible. He had bought an old-fashioned steamer trunk, the sort you saw in Marx Brothers’ movies, and anything about the Titanic, and was happily filling it with all his worldly possessions.
He was tempted to ask Sharon whether she would consider stowing away inside it - there was more than enough room for food and supplies, maybe even a little stove.
Deep down he would never go for it though. If she didn’t even want to go on a date to the ship’s mall, she was hardly going to agree to live in a box for him. Even if it was only for a few days until they were properly onboard.
Ricky sighed. She couldn’t really be his ideal woman if she wasn’t prepared to do this one little thing.
He yearned for someone who would be prepared to fit into tight spaces for him.
He looked in the trunk for the last time before locking it. Maybe it wasn’t really big enough anyway. What he needed was someone who was missing a leg, or an arm. They probably wouldn’t need as much room.
The aliens had given everyone strict instructions about what to tell the folks back home. The landing party had only revealed themselves to a select few.
Ordinarily Captain Jimminy would not have been high enough up to even know about their arrival, but the navy had explained he was the best man they had - he was going to come back a hero. They would be sad to see him go, they said, but it was for the good of the whole human race.
Ricky couldn't disagree with that - he was in every situation the best of the best. He only hoped the world could survive without him.
---
There were almost 400 people congregated the spaceship's massive hallway. Captain Jimminy looked around nervously to see if Sharon had changed her mind about coming, but he couldn't see her.
He was stood next to a slightly odd looking man who clearly needed some grooming tips. Captain Jimminy smiled - he was always happy to help those in greatest need.
The man looked at him looking at him and sneered slightly. Which made the captain smile more.
"Pleased to meet you - you can call me Ricky if you want," he held out his hand welcomingly.
The other man looked down, distressed. "I don't shake people's hands unless I am carrying wet wipes."
The captain shrugged. "Suit yourself." He could tell they were going to get on just fine.
---
Flanery Markowitz had come onboard with only a vague idea of what he was doing or where he was going. He knew he was only ever destined to be a very minor character with limited interaction with any of the other more important people around here - but that didn't stop him yearning for adventure. Psychology was all right, and it paid the bills, but he had a feeling there was something more out there, something majestic.
He looked across to a tall, good looking naval officer who was grinning and gurning at ... wasn't that...? Yes. It was Derek Peterson, the world Scrabble champion.
Flanery tried to suppress his excitement. He hero worshipped Derek Peterson. He even had a scrapbook dedicated to him.
Next to him Dr Hanwei Dong Chen coughed slightly. "Sorry, I am very nervous. I am only here to escape my repressive home life and abusive childhood, so I hope we're going to be very good friends and you can help me get through this traumatic time."
"Yes, whatever," Flanery said, peering across at Derek. Damn it - that tall good looking officer was bound to get all of his hero's attention. Damn sailors. They always got... damn, buggery and flip. He snorted.
"Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting you. What you looking at?" The doctor looked to where Flanery was looking. "Oh - isn't that...?"
"Yes." Flanery snapped.
A voice boomed loudly somewhere out of sight and a strange discordant piece of music piped up.
"People of Earth, please put your hands together and give one of your traditional Earth greetings to his royal highness Quak Millong Bon the third, commander of the ship and chief Diluvian ambassador."
The assembled throng clapped, cheered, whistled and otherwise provided enthusiastic and rather overblown applause.
"Woah, this is some show!" Ricky smiled.
"Quite," said Derek.
On the other side of the hall the Doctor coughed again. "Hey, I like your moustache," he said to Flanery, apropos of nothing.
---
It was on their third mission that things started to go wrong.
They hadn't checked for life signs before their arrival. This might have been a mistake, but exploration was more important than hesitation, as far as mission leader Dr Corrinne Joshua-Singa III was concerned.
It was a policy that suited Captain Jimminy just fine. He looked at the sticky blue stone, faintly throbbing and undulating (and so was the stone), and reached out to touch it.
"No!" Mr Peterson shouted, "We haven't tested that substance yet - it could be dangerous!" He wasn't of the same mind as Dr Joshua-Singa and had been grumbling about her ever since he met her. What was she a doctor in, anyway - shopping? She seemed not to know anything about any of the sciences.
The brave, handsome, rugged (and really hot) captain smirked at Mr Peterson (he was such a big doofus, Jimminy thought). Then he reached out and touched the sticky stuff. He brought his hand up to his mouth and smelled it.
Team mates Mickelson and Farrahna (the beautiful but tough alien maiden with the unfeasibly lovely hair that never tripped her up even though it reached down to the ground) looked on in horror.
Mr Peterson jumped to stop the captain, but it was too late. The hunky (but oh so pretty) officer had put his hand to his mouth and was licking the alien gloop.
"Tastes like chicken, Derek!" He smiled at Peterson.
Peterson bit his lips and waved the alien device they had found (that nobody but him could quite work out how to use because he was that smart) over the substance. "You idiot! It could be poison."
"Tastes okay. Here!"
Derek Peterson, strangely lovely, despite the missing leg and hump, tried to move away, but the captain was too quick for him. Derek had a mouthful of the icky substance before he could jump away in time (the missing leg made it hard sometimes).
"On my planet gloopy excretions like that might be considered dangerous," Farrahna said, sagely. "I have heard tell that some use these substances to create a feeling of connectedness between two willing partners - people who may never have known before that they were attracted to each other... perhaps..."
Mickelson and Farrahna's eyes grew wide as they stared at the Captain and Derek. Derek had for some reason started stroking his team mate's hair, and the pretty-eyed, hairy-chested (very masculine) captain wasn't doing anything to stop him.
"Oh no, now we have to have sex!" said the captain.
So they did.
Private Mickelson fainted.
---
Only a week later...
Captain Ricky Jimminy had blinded the beast with the force of his enormously bright and radiant personality. It stumbled into the trap they had set.
Derek Peterson looked on in awe. For some reason he could look straight at Ricky without being blinded. Nobody else could do it. "How did you manage that?" he said.
"Just lucky, I guess"" Jimminy smiled knowingly, winking at Derek and licking his lips slightly. The device he had stolen from that monk was obviously more powerful than any of them had ever imagined.
Flanery hadn't wanted to come on this mission, but Peterson had insisted a psychologist was needed. As Flanery could never say no to Derek he assented. He was beginning to wish he hadn't. The seeping wound in his arm was beginning to throb. Flanery fainted and Derek hobbled over to check on him.
Farrahna and Mickelson were still shielding their eyes from Jimminy's brightness.
"Over here, stop dawdling, you two," Derek cried. They immediately obeyed - they respected Derek that much.
Flanery regained consciousness for a second. He looked up as Derek leaned over. "Oh," he moaned, before smiling serenely and fainting again.
Ricky continued to shine brightly. "I can't switch this thing off," he cried. "Someone had better help me. I'm getting too hot."
---
Many commentators say this was the point where the show began to lose cohesion. New writers were brought in soon afterwards.
NB: The same plot was used again in season 89 episode The Thrall of the Caterpillar Ghost.
Farrahna was replaced by another character called Beamonia for five episodes in season 45, after Leonie Culpepper (Farrahna 6) died in a logging accident. Beamonia was not popular and fans complained she had too many scenes.
-
Rick glanced across to where the beautiful princess, with the great big tentacle thing growing out of her head (it didn’t stop her looking hot, Ricky thought) stood. He batted his far-too-long-for-a-man eyelashes at her.
Derek muttered something under his breath, but Rick didn’t quite catch what he said.
"Hey, beautiful princess with the unpronounceable name," Ricky winked, "how about you and I get a little alone time, eh?"
"Captain - I have to warn you that…" Derek interjected.
"Hey, cool it, Derek, let the princess speak." Ricky smiled charmingly at the princess and tossed his head a little so the sunlight caught the blond highlights in his perfectly tousled hair.
"Oh, captain," The princess giggled and closed her big brown eye (the only one she had - it took up most of her face but she was still really hot.) "I would love to - but the customs of my people dictate that I have to eat my mate within seconds of achieving perfect unity."
"Aw, shucks," Ricky said. "I am sure we can work around that."
Derek sighed. This would be the third time in a week that Ricky would have to be rescued from a flesh-eating alien princess. The man never seemed to learn.
...
Saw X Men: First Class this week, too. It was by far the best of the X Men films, so far I think. Although Ian McKellen and Ptrick Stewart were good in other films I think this one holds up the best overall.
And only about an hour ago I realised I had met and interviewed Michael Fassbender about six years ago. I had gone on a set visit to Hex, it was being filmed in an abandoned church in Belsize park. I was supposed to just be interviewing Jemima Rooper, but I got him as well. It all came flooding back. I remember what astonishingly blue eyes the man had and how very flirty and lovely he was.
I am going to search out the tape with the interview some time, I think.
----
I also just found Trippy Start Jumpers. The fandom with no actual show that I started. I was the one and only fan since the show only existed in my head.
Well anyway, this is some of it...
Captain Ricky Jimminy had volunteered for this mission. He was bored with his life - the navy was no fun any more. Not now they had told him he wasn’t allowed to use so much hair gel.
What was life without good hair?
They were just a bunch of stiffs, he decided.
So when a spaceship landed on Earth and aliens stepped out to ask if anyone would like to come back to their home planet for a little while he was the first to put his hand up and say: "Hey, I’ll go."
The navy was glad to get rid of him. Ever since that incident where he had accidentally sunk two battleships (not enemy battleships, either) they were understandably keen to avoid any further casualties.
He had managed to get out of it by explaining that the button that launched the missiles had been marked "hot water" by mistake.
It had, but it was a code word.
As Jimminy didn’t have security clearance he pointed out there was no way he could have known that.
He shouldn’t have been in the control room in the first place, but he wanted to see the beautiful Lt Sharon Felicity. A rather well developed officer who had never said yes when he had asked her on a date. Which was good reason to keep trying, he thought.
----
He was the world chess champion at the age of eight and had been among the top Scrabble players in the United States for the last four years. So when the aliens asked for some of the best and brightest, Derek Peterson jumped at the chance.
It would be a new world to conquer, possibly a world with a different gravity where his limp wouldn’t be so much of a problem.
At school he had been nicknamed Quasimodo, and he was glad to have graduated at seven and completed his university education by the age of ten.
He got the respect he felt he deserved on the Scrabble circuit.
But he had never found love. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was the facial ticks (he had bought a powder to deal with those though - you couldn't have insects crawling all over you without someone commenting eventually), the insistence he was always right and the fact he couldn’t stand other people.
Now at the age of thirty-seven he felt he could finally prove himself to the entire universe.
He packed a tiny suitcase and said goodbye to his cousin Frank - the only one of his relatives who hadn’t stopped talking to him when he decided to stop paying for his grandmother’s coke habit.
He would be gone a long time, he hoped, perhaps for ever.
Derek was sad that he couldn’t bring his goldfish Mortimer with him, but the aliens had very strict rules about which species they would allow. There were allergic to seafood, apparently.
Maybe his should have tipped everyone off as to their intentions, but the specially chosen voyagers were so fantastically excited about travelling to another galaxy that they didn’t stop to wonder about the motives of their new friends.
If they had only watched V, they could have avoided a lot of problems.
Derek didn't wear socks - they only reminded him of his loss.
If only he had been more careful, if only he had not gone for that triple word score, he would still have his leg. The memory still haunted him.
---
Hair gel - that was the most important thing to take. Ricky was glad he had been allowed to take as big a suitcase as possible. He had bought an old-fashioned steamer trunk, the sort you saw in Marx Brothers’ movies, and anything about the Titanic, and was happily filling it with all his worldly possessions.
He was tempted to ask Sharon whether she would consider stowing away inside it - there was more than enough room for food and supplies, maybe even a little stove.
Deep down he would never go for it though. If she didn’t even want to go on a date to the ship’s mall, she was hardly going to agree to live in a box for him. Even if it was only for a few days until they were properly onboard.
Ricky sighed. She couldn’t really be his ideal woman if she wasn’t prepared to do this one little thing.
He yearned for someone who would be prepared to fit into tight spaces for him.
He looked in the trunk for the last time before locking it. Maybe it wasn’t really big enough anyway. What he needed was someone who was missing a leg, or an arm. They probably wouldn’t need as much room.
The aliens had given everyone strict instructions about what to tell the folks back home. The landing party had only revealed themselves to a select few.
Ordinarily Captain Jimminy would not have been high enough up to even know about their arrival, but the navy had explained he was the best man they had - he was going to come back a hero. They would be sad to see him go, they said, but it was for the good of the whole human race.
Ricky couldn't disagree with that - he was in every situation the best of the best. He only hoped the world could survive without him.
---
There were almost 400 people congregated the spaceship's massive hallway. Captain Jimminy looked around nervously to see if Sharon had changed her mind about coming, but he couldn't see her.
He was stood next to a slightly odd looking man who clearly needed some grooming tips. Captain Jimminy smiled - he was always happy to help those in greatest need.
The man looked at him looking at him and sneered slightly. Which made the captain smile more.
"Pleased to meet you - you can call me Ricky if you want," he held out his hand welcomingly.
The other man looked down, distressed. "I don't shake people's hands unless I am carrying wet wipes."
The captain shrugged. "Suit yourself." He could tell they were going to get on just fine.
---
Flanery Markowitz had come onboard with only a vague idea of what he was doing or where he was going. He knew he was only ever destined to be a very minor character with limited interaction with any of the other more important people around here - but that didn't stop him yearning for adventure. Psychology was all right, and it paid the bills, but he had a feeling there was something more out there, something majestic.
He looked across to a tall, good looking naval officer who was grinning and gurning at ... wasn't that...? Yes. It was Derek Peterson, the world Scrabble champion.
Flanery tried to suppress his excitement. He hero worshipped Derek Peterson. He even had a scrapbook dedicated to him.
Next to him Dr Hanwei Dong Chen coughed slightly. "Sorry, I am very nervous. I am only here to escape my repressive home life and abusive childhood, so I hope we're going to be very good friends and you can help me get through this traumatic time."
"Yes, whatever," Flanery said, peering across at Derek. Damn it - that tall good looking officer was bound to get all of his hero's attention. Damn sailors. They always got... damn, buggery and flip. He snorted.
"Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting you. What you looking at?" The doctor looked to where Flanery was looking. "Oh - isn't that...?"
"Yes." Flanery snapped.
A voice boomed loudly somewhere out of sight and a strange discordant piece of music piped up.
"People of Earth, please put your hands together and give one of your traditional Earth greetings to his royal highness Quak Millong Bon the third, commander of the ship and chief Diluvian ambassador."
The assembled throng clapped, cheered, whistled and otherwise provided enthusiastic and rather overblown applause.
"Woah, this is some show!" Ricky smiled.
"Quite," said Derek.
On the other side of the hall the Doctor coughed again. "Hey, I like your moustache," he said to Flanery, apropos of nothing.
---
It was on their third mission that things started to go wrong.
They hadn't checked for life signs before their arrival. This might have been a mistake, but exploration was more important than hesitation, as far as mission leader Dr Corrinne Joshua-Singa III was concerned.
It was a policy that suited Captain Jimminy just fine. He looked at the sticky blue stone, faintly throbbing and undulating (and so was the stone), and reached out to touch it.
"No!" Mr Peterson shouted, "We haven't tested that substance yet - it could be dangerous!" He wasn't of the same mind as Dr Joshua-Singa and had been grumbling about her ever since he met her. What was she a doctor in, anyway - shopping? She seemed not to know anything about any of the sciences.
The brave, handsome, rugged (and really hot) captain smirked at Mr Peterson (he was such a big doofus, Jimminy thought). Then he reached out and touched the sticky stuff. He brought his hand up to his mouth and smelled it.
Team mates Mickelson and Farrahna (the beautiful but tough alien maiden with the unfeasibly lovely hair that never tripped her up even though it reached down to the ground) looked on in horror.
Mr Peterson jumped to stop the captain, but it was too late. The hunky (but oh so pretty) officer had put his hand to his mouth and was licking the alien gloop.
"Tastes like chicken, Derek!" He smiled at Peterson.
Peterson bit his lips and waved the alien device they had found (that nobody but him could quite work out how to use because he was that smart) over the substance. "You idiot! It could be poison."
"Tastes okay. Here!"
Derek Peterson, strangely lovely, despite the missing leg and hump, tried to move away, but the captain was too quick for him. Derek had a mouthful of the icky substance before he could jump away in time (the missing leg made it hard sometimes).
"On my planet gloopy excretions like that might be considered dangerous," Farrahna said, sagely. "I have heard tell that some use these substances to create a feeling of connectedness between two willing partners - people who may never have known before that they were attracted to each other... perhaps..."
Mickelson and Farrahna's eyes grew wide as they stared at the Captain and Derek. Derek had for some reason started stroking his team mate's hair, and the pretty-eyed, hairy-chested (very masculine) captain wasn't doing anything to stop him.
"Oh no, now we have to have sex!" said the captain.
So they did.
Private Mickelson fainted.
---
Only a week later...
Captain Ricky Jimminy had blinded the beast with the force of his enormously bright and radiant personality. It stumbled into the trap they had set.
Derek Peterson looked on in awe. For some reason he could look straight at Ricky without being blinded. Nobody else could do it. "How did you manage that?" he said.
"Just lucky, I guess"" Jimminy smiled knowingly, winking at Derek and licking his lips slightly. The device he had stolen from that monk was obviously more powerful than any of them had ever imagined.
Flanery hadn't wanted to come on this mission, but Peterson had insisted a psychologist was needed. As Flanery could never say no to Derek he assented. He was beginning to wish he hadn't. The seeping wound in his arm was beginning to throb. Flanery fainted and Derek hobbled over to check on him.
Farrahna and Mickelson were still shielding their eyes from Jimminy's brightness.
"Over here, stop dawdling, you two," Derek cried. They immediately obeyed - they respected Derek that much.
Flanery regained consciousness for a second. He looked up as Derek leaned over. "Oh," he moaned, before smiling serenely and fainting again.
Ricky continued to shine brightly. "I can't switch this thing off," he cried. "Someone had better help me. I'm getting too hot."
---
Many commentators say this was the point where the show began to lose cohesion. New writers were brought in soon afterwards.
NB: The same plot was used again in season 89 episode The Thrall of the Caterpillar Ghost.
Farrahna was replaced by another character called Beamonia for five episodes in season 45, after Leonie Culpepper (Farrahna 6) died in a logging accident. Beamonia was not popular and fans complained she had too many scenes.
-
Rick glanced across to where the beautiful princess, with the great big tentacle thing growing out of her head (it didn’t stop her looking hot, Ricky thought) stood. He batted his far-too-long-for-a-man eyelashes at her.
Derek muttered something under his breath, but Rick didn’t quite catch what he said.
"Hey, beautiful princess with the unpronounceable name," Ricky winked, "how about you and I get a little alone time, eh?"
"Captain - I have to warn you that…" Derek interjected.
"Hey, cool it, Derek, let the princess speak." Ricky smiled charmingly at the princess and tossed his head a little so the sunlight caught the blond highlights in his perfectly tousled hair.
"Oh, captain," The princess giggled and closed her big brown eye (the only one she had - it took up most of her face but she was still really hot.) "I would love to - but the customs of my people dictate that I have to eat my mate within seconds of achieving perfect unity."
"Aw, shucks," Ricky said. "I am sure we can work around that."
Derek sighed. This would be the third time in a week that Ricky would have to be rescued from a flesh-eating alien princess. The man never seemed to learn.
...