Wishes Dreams and Fairy Things
Ahh my beautiful people it has been a LONG day...I got up at 7 and went to that god awful place called walmart with my mema this morning..but I did get a couple presents out of it..YAY...Thanksgiving Holidays are almost drawn to a close..I'm happy and sad at the same time...Happy that I get to go home and see those dearest to me and sad that I have to go to school on Monday I haven't even finished my Algebra work that I was suppose to do I don't think I even remember HOW to do it now..hmm...The Sims 2 game for playstation 2 is NOTHING like the computer Sims 2 and in my opinion go with the computer its a lot more fun....and it doesn't have the saving problems that the playstation 2 Sims 2 has...grr upon it..I shall write a letter. or something drastic along those lines.I Just got done reading a couple Peter Pan stories...ahh how I love peter pan...but it makes me so sad..eternal youth...gahh upon it as well..I use to want to go to Neverland....up until I was 14 or 15...then I found out...that Peter Pan WAS just a story..when i was at my mema's house I use to stand outside on her back porch while she was away at work, she worked until 12 in those days, and I use to scream at the top of my lungs out into the darkness...."COME AND TAKE ME AWAY" thinking that he just needed some kind of say so...well lets just say he never came...and after 3 summers of standing on the backporch in my longest night gown a little piece of me broke...one that I will never repair...that is when I lost the innocent part of me...Loosing your innocence isn't as some ppl see it..its not having sex for the first time usually that comes after you had already givin up your make believe and fairy tales...I remember crying forever....not really but it seemed like it...and I eventually fell asleep on the ground...cause I had walked out into the woods...I woke up around 11:30 enough time to run back to the house and get into bed before my mema came home...and till this day..I haven't screamed out for him to come..I gave up on him..on my fairy tale of him...and inside right now as I think about it...I cry...because it still hurts...3 years later..no one ever truly grows up..no one..we all have our memories of our childhood some are better than others...some are horrible. But we mostly go back to the good ones..the ones that make us smile and laugh..the ones with our favorite people in them..the ones that mean the most..I hate being a girl.....well darlings..I must leave..nothing really new these were all ramblings...love you all...
ashley
ashley