this is a peace sign, this is a good saturday night.
I'm getting drunk again.. It's typically what happens when Justin comes around, or when I get lonely at night. There's things to occupy myself with, but that whole needing-to-not-think-about-things pops up all too often. Ughandblah, it's hard to explain how I feel. Words really elude me when I get to drinking. And maybe that's the frustrating part, that I need to get things out but don't know how to express it. Hmm, feels like a bullseye there.
God, I want a smoke. It just gets harder and harder the more time passes by. I was sure putting my money on things easing up, but my cravings are getting worse, and it takes more and more for me to keep saying no. I haven't cheated yet, and I usually have at this point, so at least I have that. But I know if I "cheat", I'll go right back to smoking, so I can't even compromise with that. I guess I'll try to keep drowning out cigarette thoughts with music leaking directly into my head.
God, I want a smoke. It just gets harder and harder the more time passes by. I was sure putting my money on things easing up, but my cravings are getting worse, and it takes more and more for me to keep saying no. I haven't cheated yet, and I usually have at this point, so at least I have that. But I know if I "cheat", I'll go right back to smoking, so I can't even compromise with that. I guess I'll try to keep drowning out cigarette thoughts with music leaking directly into my head.