I just dont understand...
I have tried and tried, and I really thought it was all behind us. I really thought that all of us were becoming friends. I really valued the time I had spent. I really valued a budding friendship. Now I sit here and cry at work because I dont know how we came to this. I dont know what I did. I simply dont know. I love Sara and she loves me. What is so wrong with that? What makes a person not care about another anymore? What makes a person simply give up on a friendship? Friends are very important to me. I dont have many here, but I thought I had a few that I would keep for a long time. I always felt at ease, I always wanted to spend more time, but I guess I was the only one. I didnt even knew there was a problem. No one acted like something was wrong. Why is it that no one spoke about it? If there was a problem, then someone should have said something and not acted like everything was okay. I hate it that Sara hurts. I wish I could take it away for her. I wish I could change the way things have went. I would not change us. I would not change a thing about her or I. I dont understand why this has to be so hard. I am so sick of saying that! I am so sick of this. I am so fucking sick of trying so hard to make everything okay for everyone involved, just to have shit shoved in my fucking face.