no more beers for a while
When speaking to the woman who's children I am babysitting, she said that her two girls are gowing through growth spurts and when they grow they tend to regress. I can see this pattern in myself while trying to cling to some form of comfort while being thrust into the realities of life after college and complicated relationships and the fact that many times things don't go according to plan. And out of vagueness: In reviving this journal I hope to bring ideas and opinions out of obscurity and provide some typed organization into my life.
My room is clean
I am a pet owner
I did the dishes
I ate an apple
I find as I do in past relationships that I am losing my self, or as Ann so eloquently or awkwardly put it, Chip is sucking out her soul, her oneness, her individuality. My question, not so much am I losing this intangible spirit, but did I have it in the first place?
Am I really imitating the opinions/thoughts/ideas of this person I spend so much time with, or am I in this sick parasitic relationship where I bounce from person to person despite any romantic attachment, but whom I admire.
Thoughts on this: Everyone is in a parasitic relationship with someone else and sometimes it seems symbiotic, but if everyone is out for themselves when it boils down to it: Am I paying for your doughnut because I am just nice? Or is it so maybe later you can think of that nice gesture and make out with me, or maybe when I am in need of a doughnut you'll spot me some cash. Well, This is symbiotic because the making out part is enjoyble to both parties, as is the doughnut. Ignoring the failed analogy - there will always be a time when people are uneven with each other - causing one to be the parasite.
I think this comic is one that is relevant for all past present and future journal entries to no one but myself.
http://www.bendependent.com/dirtfarm/comics/125.html
copy and paste
I also think this one is relevant from living in the house that estrogen built:
http://www.bendependent.com/dirtfarm/comics/146.html
In hopes of perserving sanity I think there will be a weekly update to also establish routine, waste time, and as in right now, wait for the nyquil to kick in.
maybe comics will reappear also. I feel like it is the time to bring back lost hidden things.
It is time to air out the skeletons and embrace what once felt cruel.
So I got on AIM today and as I was trying to fall asleep I had a keen recollection of going with pat to help put the crew boats away. I don't remember why I went, or what we really did, but that it was dark, and that day I fell asleep with him in the car on the way home, and I felt really really secure. I probably didn't at the time, but established in my head later that I did.
which also reminds me of McDonald's Playplaces.
My room is clean
I am a pet owner
I did the dishes
I ate an apple
I find as I do in past relationships that I am losing my self, or as Ann so eloquently or awkwardly put it, Chip is sucking out her soul, her oneness, her individuality. My question, not so much am I losing this intangible spirit, but did I have it in the first place?
Am I really imitating the opinions/thoughts/ideas of this person I spend so much time with, or am I in this sick parasitic relationship where I bounce from person to person despite any romantic attachment, but whom I admire.
Thoughts on this: Everyone is in a parasitic relationship with someone else and sometimes it seems symbiotic, but if everyone is out for themselves when it boils down to it: Am I paying for your doughnut because I am just nice? Or is it so maybe later you can think of that nice gesture and make out with me, or maybe when I am in need of a doughnut you'll spot me some cash. Well, This is symbiotic because the making out part is enjoyble to both parties, as is the doughnut. Ignoring the failed analogy - there will always be a time when people are uneven with each other - causing one to be the parasite.
I think this comic is one that is relevant for all past present and future journal entries to no one but myself.
http://www.bendependent.com/dirtfarm/comics/125.html
copy and paste
I also think this one is relevant from living in the house that estrogen built:
http://www.bendependent.com/dirtfarm/comics/146.html
In hopes of perserving sanity I think there will be a weekly update to also establish routine, waste time, and as in right now, wait for the nyquil to kick in.
maybe comics will reappear also. I feel like it is the time to bring back lost hidden things.
It is time to air out the skeletons and embrace what once felt cruel.
So I got on AIM today and as I was trying to fall asleep I had a keen recollection of going with pat to help put the crew boats away. I don't remember why I went, or what we really did, but that it was dark, and that day I fell asleep with him in the car on the way home, and I felt really really secure. I probably didn't at the time, but established in my head later that I did.
which also reminds me of McDonald's Playplaces.