Yom Kippur: why I fast
About an hour ago, the sun set, not that anyone here in Seattle would have known the difference in today's unusually stereotypical weather. This marked the start of Yom Kippur, for which I will be fasting until sunset tomorrow.
I'm not at all religious, I observe very little of Jewish tradition, I don't pray and I only ever go to services when they mark other peoples' special occasions, so I feel I ought to explain why I do observe this custom.
The starting point is what the day means to me. I think it's unique in the Jewish calendar in that it's neither a day of mourning (a few other fasts through the year mourn specific historical events) nor a day of celebration. It's a day set aside specifically for atoning the sins of the previous year, because atonement is one of many steps on the way from sin to forgiveness. For a person who doesn't follow religious law, the meaning of "sin" and "atonement" changes a little, but like everyone else I have a strong sense of what is right and good to do, and like everyone else I don't always meet my own standards. I think it's a very healthy thing to set time aside in a ritualised way to think about my own shortcomings, and what I'm going to do about them. I think it's a good check on myself.
Of course, fasting is no more necessary to do this than going to shul is, so why do I do it? There are a few distinct reasons.
Hunger itself: I think it's important that everyone experience hunger from time to time. I realise that the hunger of a voluntary one-day fast is qualitatively different from the experience of going hungry because of famine or poverty-just as chronic pain, recurrent migraines and "I have a headache" are three quite different things-but it's still an experience that makes me more appreciative of not having to feel it the rest of the year. A fast is a different, more intense experience than the hunger of "I should have eaten an hour ago", and it's an inherently sobering, humbling experience.
Mental clarity: This doesn't last the whole day-at times the experience of hunger is distracting-but fasting can bring about a sort of mental clarity that supports the exercise of self-evaluation.
Discipline: Inevitably, some of the things I look back on and repent are lapses of self-discipline. Deliberately exercising self-discipline is not something I normally do, and it has value in itself.
Specialness of the day: It doesn't have to be a fast, but I do find I have to mark the distinctness of this day in some clear way in order to actually go through with its intended purpose. Given that, I might as well mark its distinctness in the traditional way.
For a religious person, there are many other observances for this day, most of which I don't partake in because they don't make sense in my terms. For example, one isn't supposed to wash, shave, use electricity, or wear leather. That last one probably made sense not too long ago in terms of forgoing material comforts, but these days it leads to the rather silly sight of men in dark suits and running shoes - surely not the spirit of the law. Back when my dad took me to shul on Yom Kippur, I remember finding it actually rather a distraction from the serious purpose I had for the day; of course this reflects as much on my beliefs and my relationship to the institution as it does anything objective about the rituals.
There is a contemporary movement to encourage people, whether they are Jewish, religious or neither, to shut out electronics for the day. I sympathise strongly with the sentiment behind that, but it doesn't quite work for me. For one thing, Melinda's out of town this weekend, and none of my other relatives live anywhere near me, so doing this would mean not speaking to my family. I also find writing very helpful to the sort of introspective process I want from tomorrow, and I hand write so much slower than I type that it's actually switching off the computer that would be the distraction. I will abstain from everything that interferes with the process though, so no twitter, facebook, news or web browsing, and no email to anyone who isn't a friend or relative. Also no photo editing, simply because it's something that I could immerse myself in all day and see the day just slip by.
A day without external inputs and extraneous distractions will do me a lot of good, and strikes me as very much in the spirit of the occasion.
I'm not at all religious, I observe very little of Jewish tradition, I don't pray and I only ever go to services when they mark other peoples' special occasions, so I feel I ought to explain why I do observe this custom.
The starting point is what the day means to me. I think it's unique in the Jewish calendar in that it's neither a day of mourning (a few other fasts through the year mourn specific historical events) nor a day of celebration. It's a day set aside specifically for atoning the sins of the previous year, because atonement is one of many steps on the way from sin to forgiveness. For a person who doesn't follow religious law, the meaning of "sin" and "atonement" changes a little, but like everyone else I have a strong sense of what is right and good to do, and like everyone else I don't always meet my own standards. I think it's a very healthy thing to set time aside in a ritualised way to think about my own shortcomings, and what I'm going to do about them. I think it's a good check on myself.
Of course, fasting is no more necessary to do this than going to shul is, so why do I do it? There are a few distinct reasons.
Hunger itself: I think it's important that everyone experience hunger from time to time. I realise that the hunger of a voluntary one-day fast is qualitatively different from the experience of going hungry because of famine or poverty-just as chronic pain, recurrent migraines and "I have a headache" are three quite different things-but it's still an experience that makes me more appreciative of not having to feel it the rest of the year. A fast is a different, more intense experience than the hunger of "I should have eaten an hour ago", and it's an inherently sobering, humbling experience.
Mental clarity: This doesn't last the whole day-at times the experience of hunger is distracting-but fasting can bring about a sort of mental clarity that supports the exercise of self-evaluation.
Discipline: Inevitably, some of the things I look back on and repent are lapses of self-discipline. Deliberately exercising self-discipline is not something I normally do, and it has value in itself.
Specialness of the day: It doesn't have to be a fast, but I do find I have to mark the distinctness of this day in some clear way in order to actually go through with its intended purpose. Given that, I might as well mark its distinctness in the traditional way.
For a religious person, there are many other observances for this day, most of which I don't partake in because they don't make sense in my terms. For example, one isn't supposed to wash, shave, use electricity, or wear leather. That last one probably made sense not too long ago in terms of forgoing material comforts, but these days it leads to the rather silly sight of men in dark suits and running shoes - surely not the spirit of the law. Back when my dad took me to shul on Yom Kippur, I remember finding it actually rather a distraction from the serious purpose I had for the day; of course this reflects as much on my beliefs and my relationship to the institution as it does anything objective about the rituals.
There is a contemporary movement to encourage people, whether they are Jewish, religious or neither, to shut out electronics for the day. I sympathise strongly with the sentiment behind that, but it doesn't quite work for me. For one thing, Melinda's out of town this weekend, and none of my other relatives live anywhere near me, so doing this would mean not speaking to my family. I also find writing very helpful to the sort of introspective process I want from tomorrow, and I hand write so much slower than I type that it's actually switching off the computer that would be the distraction. I will abstain from everything that interferes with the process though, so no twitter, facebook, news or web browsing, and no email to anyone who isn't a friend or relative. Also no photo editing, simply because it's something that I could immerse myself in all day and see the day just slip by.
A day without external inputs and extraneous distractions will do me a lot of good, and strikes me as very much in the spirit of the occasion.