February Needs to Be OVER
I'm not sure I have it in me to make it until Friday. I hate winter. That is to say, I love snow and cocoa and stew and fuzzy socks, but days upon days of shivering in damp, sunless limbo wears me down, despite my lovely medication. I can't focus. I can't think. And I begin to truly believe that everyone loathes me. No matter what they tell me to my face. I know that much of this will go away with spring. Every year I hold it together until February and then slowly fall apart for 28 days of crazy. Its not pretty. I know, logically, that March first isn't really all that different...but I've spent the last, oh, fifteen years convincing myself that this arbitrary date means that the end is in sight...and I've been effective enough in my delusion as to actually feel a little better on 3/1.
My life isn't too bad right now. I'm the woman of the hour at work--always a nice place to be. Adored by parents and supervisors alike (and at least happily tolerated by co-teachers). My husband hasn't killed me for yet another February--so props to him. And I have the greatest kid on earth.
Don't ask about the rest. Just don't.
I'll give you a hint: DCFS is coming next week. The auditor flat out told our director that she doesn't like or center or our location so everything "had better be perfect." Ugh. I spent my break today counting blocks. Literally.
But trust me on this: If I've told you I love you before, I still do. I'll be back soon. Hang in there. Unless Stark kills me. Of the snow does. (Did I mention the enormous story and a half high pile of snow that I walk past each day??? It has an overhang. I'm waiting for an avalanche...)
I'll live. Wish me luck.
My life isn't too bad right now. I'm the woman of the hour at work--always a nice place to be. Adored by parents and supervisors alike (and at least happily tolerated by co-teachers). My husband hasn't killed me for yet another February--so props to him. And I have the greatest kid on earth.
Don't ask about the rest. Just don't.
I'll give you a hint: DCFS is coming next week. The auditor flat out told our director that she doesn't like or center or our location so everything "had better be perfect." Ugh. I spent my break today counting blocks. Literally.
But trust me on this: If I've told you I love you before, I still do. I'll be back soon. Hang in there. Unless Stark kills me. Of the snow does. (Did I mention the enormous story and a half high pile of snow that I walk past each day??? It has an overhang. I'm waiting for an avalanche...)
I'll live. Wish me luck.