Weekend
The end of the weekend for me.
Spent two days almost piss drunk to care about time passing by. I thought I got over this habit of letting time pass. Vodka and scotch, vodka and scotch.
But two days of complete and utter oblivion is a luxury for me.
I know I should have thought more about what I'm supposed to do the following week. I'm making my mixed emotions an excuse to inactivity.
*sigh*
I don't get what's so fucking important. To a big extent all this is bullshit. Bullshit acting in a bullshit setting playing around with people and their hopes and dreams. Acting all important to control everyone else and influence everyone else. I mean, why is this SUCH a big deal? I stepped into something that I considered blah, and everyone freaking out around me because of everything else that's happening.
I don't think my new position is so great. It's just a team leader. Nothing fancy. Not even a manager. But every single person in is raising hell like it's the most important thing in the world. WTH? If it's so fucking important, why does it feel like nothing?
A lot of things are happening to a lot of people. A lot of it considerably "bad." And to be standing firmly up on top of this makes me feel... uncomfortable. I don't think I'm guilty. But my GOD the casualties. It's all piling up.
So like I predicted, I'm being thrown into the other side of the fence... to FIX some awful shit. That's cause I have the energy and the brains and the lack of pride to tackle that.
I may be getting disillusioned. Maybe. Uprooted from something I was already so familiar with. In the space of six months, twice.
But if there's something I'm good at, it's being uprooted suddenly and having to wing it in a new setting. It's completely disorienting, but it works for me. This is probably a talent for me.
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Tomorrow, I start my new "reign" so to speak. I am establishing this "new" area of operations. My last public post? That was pretty successful. Everything went by hunky dory. So I'm continuing that.
How do you change a culture? Yeah. Fuck if I know. I'm supposed to change a culture insidiously. With my heart-in-sleeve charm and my disarming way of doing things I suppose I can do something like this in five days.
Optimistically speaking, if I change it, I change a lot of things. People will see a different way of looking at things.
*sigh* Is it worth it? Yes. Quit whining then.
Spent two days almost piss drunk to care about time passing by. I thought I got over this habit of letting time pass. Vodka and scotch, vodka and scotch.
But two days of complete and utter oblivion is a luxury for me.
I know I should have thought more about what I'm supposed to do the following week. I'm making my mixed emotions an excuse to inactivity.
*sigh*
I don't get what's so fucking important. To a big extent all this is bullshit. Bullshit acting in a bullshit setting playing around with people and their hopes and dreams. Acting all important to control everyone else and influence everyone else. I mean, why is this SUCH a big deal? I stepped into something that I considered blah, and everyone freaking out around me because of everything else that's happening.
I don't think my new position is so great. It's just a team leader. Nothing fancy. Not even a manager. But every single person in is raising hell like it's the most important thing in the world. WTH? If it's so fucking important, why does it feel like nothing?
A lot of things are happening to a lot of people. A lot of it considerably "bad." And to be standing firmly up on top of this makes me feel... uncomfortable. I don't think I'm guilty. But my GOD the casualties. It's all piling up.
So like I predicted, I'm being thrown into the other side of the fence... to FIX some awful shit. That's cause I have the energy and the brains and the lack of pride to tackle that.
I may be getting disillusioned. Maybe. Uprooted from something I was already so familiar with. In the space of six months, twice.
But if there's something I'm good at, it's being uprooted suddenly and having to wing it in a new setting. It's completely disorienting, but it works for me. This is probably a talent for me.
--------------------
Tomorrow, I start my new "reign" so to speak. I am establishing this "new" area of operations. My last public post? That was pretty successful. Everything went by hunky dory. So I'm continuing that.
How do you change a culture? Yeah. Fuck if I know. I'm supposed to change a culture insidiously. With my heart-in-sleeve charm and my disarming way of doing things I suppose I can do something like this in five days.
Optimistically speaking, if I change it, I change a lot of things. People will see a different way of looking at things.
*sigh* Is it worth it? Yes. Quit whining then.